To Bring You Home (Friday Fictioneers)

This week’s photo prompt from Madison Woods http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/2012/03/21/photo-prompt-for-100-word-flash-fridayfictioneers-23/.  This was a difficult one, apologies if my contribution this week is a bit soppy!  :(

The sun sets behind the hills as the purple cloak of night rises from the east.  The forest becomes still, even the cicadas fall silent.

The ground begins to tremble, and then I  hear branches stirring, twigs snapping under the rhythmic canter of  mystic hooves.

A pale glow suffuses the bushes around me, and a breeze ruffles my hair.

I spin around.

The unicorns appear in bold relief on the rugged terrain of the hill behind me, pawing the ground, silver manes tossing against the skyline.

Watching me.

“You came,” I say.

“To bring you home,” they answer.

About these ads

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

61 Responses to To Bring You Home (Friday Fictioneers)

  1. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Sandra,

    Nothing soppy about your well crafted and unique story. I was mesmerized, pleasantly surprised, and, I want to go with them.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • Sandra says:

      Thanks for commenting Doug. I was going to say ‘you’re the early bird’ but I guess you’re quite the opposite.’ :) Glad you liked it.

  2. dmmacilroy says:

    Yes Sandra,

    I’m sitting here at 11:16PM, story in the queue, waiting for Ms. Madison to pull the trigger. Watching the e-mail feed closely and keeping an eye outside in the night for unicorns.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  3. So much to see here. It’s well paced and structured too; no sloppiness!

  4. Sandra says:

    Thank you Charles. :)

  5. irenelefort says:

    Everyone loves unicorns! I liked your intepretation. By the way, we both got the same impression from Madison’s post. I thought it was an amnesia patient too.
    Here is my contribution:
    http://366degree.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/back-to-nature/
    Cheers!

    • Sandra says:

      I found this week’s photo prompt quite difficult, but now I’m seeing all the different responses I wonder why. :( Thanks for commenting.

  6. susielindau says:

    At first I thought the trembling ground was a metaphor, but unicorns were a comin’! Fun interpretation!
    Here is mine~
    http://susielindau.com/2012/03/23/the-salon-confessional-friday-flash-fiction/

  7. Sandra says:

    Thanks for commenting. I had a giggle at your submission. :)

  8. I have to say WOW! That was beautifully written and not sloppy at all. I truly enjoyed “seeing” this image in my mind first thing this morning.

    ~Susan (Here’s mine: http://www.susanwenzel.com/)

  9. Russell says:

    I thought it was beautiful imagery, especially the “purple cloak of night.”

    thanks for the nice comment on mine – Russell

    http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/

  10. janmorrill says:

    Soppy? No way! I loved its magical feel, and I wanted to go with the unicorns into the “purple cload of night.” Very nice, Sandra!

    Here’s mine:
    http://jansthoughtsovercoffee.blogspot.com/2012/03/reaching-fridayfictioneers-flashfiction.html

  11. Lindaura says:

    Yes, this is a departure for you – into the world of fantasy and the vision of Unicorns. Prettily told and interesting that the photo prompted this. I am betting that you have this well of fantasy safely squestered inside you from your childhood – but it snuck out today.
    Lindaura

  12. elmowrites says:

    I agree with you – I found this picture prompt hard and now I’m reading all the interpretations and wondering why! Unicorns – who doesn’t love them?!

  13. Gary says:

    Plenty of wonderful imagery and not a bit of soppiness in sight! Just magical beings.
    Excellent story, Sandra.

    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/fridayfictioneers-crimson-sunset/

  14. EmmaMc says:

    ‘purple cloak of night rises from the east’ Superb!

    Really great, well structured and I like the fantasy element. I’m not usually a huge fan of fantasy but found that I could some how relate to the scenery and be placed there

    http://freejournowriter.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/friday-fictioneers-5-butterfly/

  15. Awesome. I not a big fantasy fan either, but I did wonder how this would play out if written longer. Maybe you’ll convince me to become a fan after all. Good job.

  16. I like this very much. It paints a very bold and descriptive picture in a very short space. I can really feel the story. Well done!

  17. Sandra says:

    Thank you Jeffrey. Appreciate your dropping by.

  18. I loved this! You convey a lot of emotion in such few words and of course I love Unicorns.

    Here is mine: http://www.lisamccourthollar.com/2012/03/dead.html?spref=fb

  19. teschoenborn says:

    I love unicorns, they’re not soppy. Well done.

    Here’s mine: http://teschoenborn.com/2012/03/22/friday-fictioneer-3/

  20. Sandra says:

    Thanks for commenting. I like the idea of unicorns myself. :)

  21. siobhanmuir says:

    I want to be there! Fun story. The question is, would the narrator go with them or resist? Fun story, Sandra.

    Here’s mine:
    http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/03/new-world-100words-well-200-for.html

    Siobhan

  22. Mike says:

    A lovely story Sandra.
    I loved the calmness at the end, as though the coming of the unicorns to take her home was something she had been wiring for.

  23. Sandra says:

    Thank you Mike. Yes, I think she was waiting for them.

  24. Madison Woods says:

    I love unicorns so I’m glad you went soppy :) Enjoyed your story a lot!

  25. Lovely story–images of the unicorns were poetic. Loved the “rythmic canter of mystic hooves.”
    Nicely done.

    Thanks for visitng my site.

  26. Kris Kennedy says:

    I found the mystical imagery and unicorns to be such a fun slant and direction for this photo. When I read your work and looked at the photo…it was so cool to see the photo in a different light…thanks.

  27. Janet says:

    I didn’t find it sloppy at all (but we are always our harshest critic). Here mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/03/23/trapped/

  28. Hi Sandra,
    I often travel by unicorn myself. So much smoother than horses. Very fanciful, and I loved your vivid descriptions. A delightful story. Thanks for reading and commenting on my story.

  29. Fantasy fiction, eh? Well, you nailed it. The end was particularly interesting.

    http://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/03/22/friday-fictioneers-lost-sun/

    • Sandra says:

      Thanks for commenting. Not my usual type of thing, but the experience was quite … interesting. Yours was beautiful, just been to comment.

  30. Quill Shiv says:

    I quite enjoyed this! I want to go as well!

    My link is here: http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/single-shot/

  31. Lora Mitchell says:

    Soppy? What is soppy? I’m not one for fantasy either but I do love unicorns. Would I go with them? To a better world? Why not? Beautiful images here. Here’s mine:
    http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

    • Sandra says:

      Thanks for commenting Lora, yes, I’m quite a lover of unicorns too. Lora I’ve tried to comment on your story but I’m having a problem getting Blogspot to accept my internet connection. I’ll keep trying, but if I can’t, I’d just like to say I thought it was very good.

  32. Judee says:

    This is beautiful, so smoothly written like a whisper of a breeze, bringing the magic with the words. I love this take on the prompt, magical and mystical. Lovely!
    Mine:
    http://writetuit.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/flash-friday-kill-shot/

  33. parul says:

    This is so mystical, it’s mesmerizing. I could come back to this over and over again and read this with the same excitement as first time.
    You should finish this story, it’s a great work in the making. Beautiful!
    Thanks for sharing this.

    Here’s my late entry for the week – http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/reflections/

    Parul

  34. Sandra says:

    Thanks for commenting. Whilst I was uncomfortable writing this, it has given me something to think about – maybe a different direction to take for a while. I don’t know, but that’s one of the benefits of responding to prompts like these. Been to yours and commented just now, sorry to be late, been travelling for a couple of days.

  35. Beth Carter says:

    What a fun, surprising story. Loved the descriptions–esp the mystical hooves and silver manes. And you got to incorporate unicorns! I must find a way to do that some day. Never have.

    Mine is at http://banterwithbeth.blogspot.com

  36. The Lime says:

    Sandra, I love it. “in bold relief” worked so well for me and just seemed perfectly placed yet I can imagine myself misusing such a lovely phrase and so I was just a little jealous reading it. Unicorns, bring me home. MM.

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s