Wicked (Five Sentence Fiction Prompt)

“Wicked!”, cried Rachel in amazement, examining the perfection that was her newly born god-son as Annabel lay, pale and exhausted in her hospital bed.

“He seemed determined to be late,” said Annabel weakly, yet proudly, “they were just getting ready to operate when he finally deigned to put in an appearance.”

As it turned out, Christopher was late right through his life; late to become toilet-trained, late to walk, late to speak, and as he grew older, late for school and just about every activity in which people thought to include him (which frankly, wasn’t many).

He was only punctual on two occasions, the first being when he holed up with a telescopic rifle in the multi storey car park above the busy shopping mall and carefully picked off at least thirty innocent bystanders waiting for the doors to open.

The second was after a police marksman changed his status for him, and the late Christopher Jackson duly arrived on time for his own funeral, when a solitary mourner, Annabel Jackson, stood morosely by his grave and concurred with the newspapers; her only son had indeed been wicked.

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in By the Way ..., Just Sayin' and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Wicked (Five Sentence Fiction Prompt)

  1. dmmacilroy says:

    Sandra,

    That was absolutely brilliant on several levels. I had to go back and check to see that such a comprehensive story was composed of only five sentences. You bookended it perfectly, filled it with pathos and a wry, almost ironic sort of humor (this from the thoughts or her hapless mother and his lone mourner) and had me turning the pages even though there was only one to turn. Great job.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

  2. Nice play on words in a compelling little story.

    Sheila

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  3. Stephanie says:

    Vivid details! I love the story you create with just these few sentences. Makes me want to read more. Nice work!

    Like

  4. Wow. You took ‘wicked’ to a whole other level. And you showed it to us from birth to death in five sentences. Excellent. Chilling (!) but excellent.

    Like

  5. Sandra says:

    Thanks for commenting Ruth.

    Like

  6. Hello Sandra, I’ve come back to read your story several times and each time it has carried the same power. A compelling life arc in 5 sentences seems impossible, yet you achieved it here. Really really well written.

    Like

  7. Sandra says:

    Hi Jo-Anne, thanks for commenting. I’m glad you liked it. I wasn’t sure about this one and almost decided not to post it. Five sentences is really hard work for a story, but the challenge is great.

    Like

  8. Judee says:

    You blow me away with this – oops, sorry, pun not intended. REally, though, it’s well constructed and amazing that it’s only 5 sentences. I like the lateness v/s the two times he was prompt. Eveything about it is well thought out.

    Like

  9. Sandra says:

    🙂 🙂 Thanks Judee. It’s nice when a story works, and keeping it within five sentences is really challenging.

    Like

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