Madison Woods’ Friday Fictioneers photo prompt for this week.
“Nothing’s happening, let’s go.”
“Just one more try.”
The twins peered nervously at the surrounding forest. Melissa could be very intense, and she was scaring them now.
Melissa resumed her incantation. She’d called it a Wiccan invocation; in reality she was just making stuff up as she went along.
The clouds parted, bathing the clearing in pale moonlight
“Look!”
A trail of hoof-shaped indentations was advancing stealthily towards them, flattening the grass beneath.
The twins screamed.
Invisible icy hands gripped Melissa’s neck and foetid breath assailed her nostrils.
“So very kind of you, my dear … now, who’s first?”
I guess she made up the wrong stuff as she went, or would it have showed up regardless of what she said? This is why you should never trust anyone named Melissa. Trust me, I know from first hand experience. I have a sister named Melissa. 🙂
“Invisible icy hands ice gripped…” Typo?
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Oops. Thanks, I’ve amended it.
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I didn’t yet have my story published when I first commented.
It’s at: http://authorbrandonscott.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/death-cart/
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I had a reply all set and then read yours and laughed. Lol. Never trust anyone named Melissa. Too funny.
And no incantations in the forest at night. So noted!
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The best unlaid unplans… don’t mess with Mother Nature – or the Father of Lies! Very nicely told, as always.
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Oh, mine is at: http://repuestodelatabla.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/friday-fictioneer-100-word-story-safari/#respond
The dramatic photo seems, so far, to have led to light-hearted pieces…
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Thanks for commenting Carlos; as usual, when drama, romance and sentiment are called for, I’m found wanting. 😉
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Spooky moon had us on same wave length, here’s mine. http://jemcogdell.blogspot.com/2012/05/flash-fiction-trust-me.html
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Thanks for commenting Jem.
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yea, what was she thinking! Melissa!…here’s mine: http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/friday-fictioneers-then-we-were-one/
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She got what she deserved. 🙂
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SUPER!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Lord have mercy! They’ve been got!! What a story in so few words. It gave me goosebumps!
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Thanks Jeannie. Scary is good.
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Ooooooh, dabbled in the wrong incantations–wonder how she’s going to break the spell and send that creature with the icy hands and foul breath “back.” Well done–wonderfully spooky.
Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html
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Thank you!
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Hmm, maybe they shouldn’t have messed with what they didn’t understand? Nicely done.
Here’s mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/05/10/friday-fictioneers-et-wannabe/
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Too late now, I guess. Thanks for dropping by.
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Wow, what a story in a matter of 100 words. Haunting, creepy, great, I wouldn’t want to read this on Halloween, haha.
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Thanks for commenting!
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It just goes to show what happens when you play with things you don’t understand – really nice and a very simple fable 🙂
Here’s mine: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/05/11/friday-fictioneers-painting-creation/
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Thanks for dropping by.
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it’s great to ‘meet’ you. 🙂
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Dear Sandra,
Ad libbing can be dangerous. A marvelous story that ends poorly for some and nicely for the one called. Wicked, you are to your characters.
Aloha,
Doug
You’ve visited the moon with me and I thank you. This link is for others lost in the woods tonight.
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Yes, I think the evil one is in for an entertaining night. 🙂
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Creepy. Good writing.
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Thanks Rochelle
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Wonderfully wicked. The icy hands, chilling!
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Thanks Emma. 🙂
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Charming cautionary tale about messing with magic. I always warned my little kid’s covens not to play with fire. You never know what you might stir up.
I really did – and I really do believe that somehow, even though I don’t actually believe in anything except that “Anything is possible.”
I hope that helps make me a good writer…
Yours, as ever,
Laura
http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com
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Yes, I think it’s important, as a writer to keep an open mind on all things. Thanks for dropping by.
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dangerous games. If only……..Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/fridayfictioneers-tanoas-baby/
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Thank you for commenting.
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My linky: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/she-called-to-him/
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Good one. 🙂
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I think you beat me on the scary level. O.o Great job, I’m quite terrified!
http://theothersideofsorrow.blogspot.com/2012/05/el-lobo.html?showComment=1336743013295#c2208395629517796127
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I don’t think so. Yours was very cool and creative, and by far more interesting. No offense to Sandra.
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None taken. If you don’t make it as a writer, you could always try for a job in the diplomatic service. 😉
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Thanks McKenzie. Loved yours.
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Wonderfully spooky and I think the twins’ evening has just got a lot worse….well done.
Ours is here, at 160 words: http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/moon-and-sky
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Yup. My feeling is he’ll probably start with the twins. Thanks for dropping by.
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Nice tension. Well done!
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Thanks Caerlynn.
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I laughed up the line about her making up the Wiccan stuff. But creepy cool ending. 🙂
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Thanks, glad I could make you laugh. 🙂
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Wow…hate it when that happens. This is definitely a very nice blend of humor and horror (in my mind).
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Thank you Jeffrey.
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Kids, what are you gonna do? And I always enjoy a sense of gleeful evil.
Kathy
http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/stay/
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Thanks Kathy!
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Amazingly scary! Loved it – totally got goosebumps! Here’s mine:http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/11/friday-fictioneers/
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Glad you liked it. 🙂
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Very good example of “be careful what you ask for.” Nicely done. Here’s mine: http://melodypearson.com/flash-fiction/friday-fictioneers-photo-prompt/
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Isn’t it just? Thanks for dropping by.
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I jump to the conclusion that this is the goat-like demon, Azazel, from the hoof prints. A nice haunting tale. I hope there’s a hero somewhere near by.
thanks for visiting mine. here’s the link for others http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
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I expect they’ll hope so too, before too long. Thanks for commenting.
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Spookily enough, I mention Azazel in mine…http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/05/12/following-footsteps/
I loved this chilling tale. Be careful who and what you play with. I never did join in any games of Ouija and this story accurately portrays the reason why. Thanks Sandra.
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I love this! I was right there with them,holding my breath. Great job!
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Thank you Sheila. 🙂
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That will teach you to play with things you don’t understand. A very realistic flow, excellent imagery. Nice work!
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Thank you Wakefield. 🙂
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The foolishness of youth to dabble in the forbidden thinking it a game. Very well done.
Mine is short this week http://createrealitylivelife.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/friday-flash-fiction-2/
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Thanks Amanda. 🙂
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Aieeeee! Run! Okay, deep breath. Great story, Sandra. I loved the suspense and Melissa’s thought she was doing something completely innocent. Then the hoof prints! Eep! Loved it.
Thanks for commenting on mine. Here it is for others:
http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/05/watchers-100words-for-fridayfictioneers.html
Siobhan
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Thanks Siobhan. It was hard to convey the vision of footprints from an invisible persona, especially with a word restriction. I’m still not sure I completely achieved that.
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Be careful what you ask for. You may surely get it! Great story!
My story is here: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/
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Melissa certainly asked for it! Thanks for commenting. 🙂
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Whoa! That’s what I call a hard lesson. Well done. I felt the impending doom with each sentence!
–Jan
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Thanks Jan, glad you liked it.
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Great. I felt like wagging a finger at her to warn her. Love this one. Just clocked that you are a F1 fan. Enjoy this weekend’s viewing.
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Thanks Lindy. I am soooo looking forward to watching it live this weekend (we don’t have Sky). I don’t think the BBC realises that to follow the true race picture you need to know who’s pitted, who’s on which tyres etc, so edited highlights just don’t cut it for me.
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A nice twist with her fake incantation backfiring. You set just the right spooky mood to make that last line really stick. Well done!
-Brian (http://pinionpost.com/2012/05/11/the-runaway/)
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Thanks Brian. I’m not sure what her visitor has in mind but it doesn’t sound too good. 😉
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…”bathing the clearing in pale moonlight..” Lovely and poetic in a creepy setting. Foetid breath. Good word…had to look it up, even though I knew what it meant. I want to think the darkness and moonlight got the best of their imaginations and it’s their bratty, older brother scaring the bejeezus out of them. lol. Thanks for visiting me.
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Thanks Lora. That’s a nice interpretation you’ve put on it!
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That’ll teach them to mess with things they don’t understand. Excellent job with this week’s prompt 🙂
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Thanks Jess. 🙂
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“Don’t trust strange incantations.” Anti-superstitious as I am, I will not look in the mirror and do the whole Bloody Mary thing. Because who knows? What happened to the twins…might happen to me!
There was only one thing that tripped me up slightly, and I wasn’t going to mention it except that Lora liked the word. It’s interesting because it broke the spell a little bit for me, so perhaps it’s just individual taste that makes Lora and I have opposite reactions.
Here’s mine:
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That’s interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever used foetid before; Although I knew how it was truly spelt, I put ‘fetid’ at first and the ‘checker’ picked it up for correction. Thanks for commenting.
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Fascinating take on the prompt, Sandra, I wonder whether that was what Melissa intended, and whether the offer is a positive one or not (I fear not!).
I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/friday-fiction-halloween/
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The offer doesn’t sound too good, does it? Been to yours, commented and congratulated. So pleased for you. 🙂
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Oh my goodness. A tale of innocence turns macabre….very nice, indeed.
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Thanks for commenting Erin.
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Thanks for dropping by Erin.
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see, you never should hang out int he woods at night speaking strange words. You never know who will show up! Nicely done
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I don’t think any of them will be doing it again… 😦 Thanks for commenting.
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Messing with things beyond their comprehension, only to disturb the slumber of something far worse than they could ever imagine in their darkest nightmares…some twisted being with an equally twisted sense of humour!
Though I’m not sure what it says about me that I laughed… 😉
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Thanks for commenting Gary 🙂
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Be careful what you wish for! Those unintended consequences will come back to bite you.
My version – http://newpillowbook.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/friday-fictioneers-lunacy/
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Scary. As others have already said we should be careful what we ask for, you never know just who might be listening.
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Excellent. You should always mind what you say, particularly if you haven’t a clue about what you are saying. This is a lesson for all.
Here’s mine: http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/flash-fiction-friday-3/
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Hey, I like that reminder there on your comment comment. If you want to disable the option to follow comments, you can from the ‘Discussions’ heading. But it disables for the entire blog, just comments not blog follows though.
As for your story, I liked it. Your girl should have been more careful what she asked for!
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Thanks for the tip Madison, and for dropping by to comment.
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She definitely got more than she bargained for. Nice Job
here’s mine http://yaralwrites.com/
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Very scarey! I feel like i’m in the presence of a great talent.
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Thanks for commenting Gilly. 🙂
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creepy!!
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Thanks!
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Good one!
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Thank you Ted.
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This is excellent. The footprints bring it right home. Sharp and focused writing.
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Thanks! It was hard to convey that impression of the footprints.
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Poor Melissa, too bad she won’t have a chance to learn from her experience. Great job Sandra.
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Thanks Judee. Yes I’m afraid it looks like ‘curtains for little Mel’ 🙂
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creepy last line!
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Thanks for dropping by, Sonia.
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Such a fresh look at a witch’s tale. I like that she didn’t know what she was getting into. What a chilling end!
I really like this sentence: A trail of hoof-shaped indentations was advancing stealthily towards them, flattening the grass beneath. Great work!
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Thanks Amy. That was a difficult concept to get into words. I remember seeing it on an old Quatermass film, with footprints advancing towards the victim in gravel, but it’s hard to describe.
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An intense story for the same photo prompt as August 5, 2015. It was scary. Another great write, Sandra. 😎
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