Style Guru (100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups)

This week the challenge was to write a 100 word piece incorporating the words,

LIBERTY    EMPIRE    APPLE    YELLOW    ENORMOUS

Style Guru

“You see, with people like you, apple-shaped people, I’d recommend an empire-line dress; but with that enormous bosom … there’s a risk you’ll look like a ship in full sail.

“Oh dear, I probably should have dieted.  What colour?”

“Well with your skin tone,  pastels would make you look a bit yellow.  Maybe a nice grey, or navy.”

“Sounds very drab.  And a hat?”

“Absolutely not, you’re too dumpy.”

“Not looking good is it?”

“Well you’re at liberty to suggest something yourself, you know.”

“How about if I telephone to say I’m ill and can’t attend the wedding?”

“Perfect, dear.”

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in By the Way ..., Just Sayin' and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to Style Guru (100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups)

  1. Sounds exactly like me before a wedding. So much so that my take on the challenge was eerily similar!

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  2. sjbwriting says:

    What a sneaky, miserable husband. I think she should buy something red and sexy, wear it with the highest heels and the most enormous hat, go without him and maybe find a new husband at the wedding!

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  3. I really enjoyed the humour in this piece – ‘a ship at full sail’ – love it! I have a larger bust aswell and empire lines look terrible on me! Only the brave dare wear yellow!

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    • Sandra says:

      I don’t have a problem with empire line unfortunately! And I’m magnetically drawn to yellow, even though I look terrible in it. I think it’s because in my teens I had one of those shiny plastic macs, and felt I looked great in it. Ah the folly of youth …
      Thanks for commenting.

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  4. This made me laugh out loud, absolutely fantastic! Can see a fabulous female comediene asking to borrow this for a skit!

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  5. rich says:

    wait. i don’t know what an empire line is.

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  6. Jean Mishra says:

    Absolutely delightful! You built and portrayed a very tangible character in just 100 short words. I love it.

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  7. Sandra says:

    Thank you Jean, glad you enjoyed it. 🙂

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  8. Gilly Gee says:

    I pictured a jealous and bitter single woman working in a wedding shop! Excellent and made me laugh as well 🙂

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  9. Sandra says:

    I just had one of those impossible ‘style gurus’ in mind, but yes, your idea works equally well. Thanks for commenting.

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  10. Delft says:

    Love it. Hate shopping for clothes myself.

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  11. That felt sad. I hate the idea of not going somewhere for fear of not looking so good. I’ve almost done that myself. I don’t like this person she’s talking to.

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    • Sandra says:

      Thanks for commenting. Yes, it’s not a nice experience being exposed to ‘someone in the know’, especially when you’re past the first flush of fashion/youth.

      Like

  12. Mayumi-H says:

    My, how snarky a reply! I’m picturing one of those high-end shops that most of us can’t even afford. And yet these turks tell us how to dress! (The nerve….)

    Great job capturing the apprehension of the wearer/guest, especially under that verbal bombardment. She’s much more controlled than I would be, in that situation! And, I know it’s rather a sad predicament, but it did make me chuckle. You’re very good at eliciting more than one emotion with these. 🙂

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      Thank you Mayumi. Yes I’ve had my share of discomfort from these women, and I suspect the poor victim’s sarcasm might be lost on her. 🙂

      Like

  13. kford2007 says:

    Classic and thanks for the chuckle. 🙂

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  14. What a great character, very interesting.

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  15. Sandra says:

    Thank you Susan. 🙂

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  16. Poor woman; she needs to find someone else to give her fashion advice. I reckon they were just jealous!

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  17. Sandra says:

    Thanks Anna. Yes, she sounds like she needs a good friend.

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

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