Forbidden Fruit (Friday Fictioneers, June 2012)

This week’s photo prompt from Madison Wood’s Friday Fictioneers.

Forbidden Fruit

She shouldn’t have been in his garden, let alone pillaging his raspberry bushes – she’d been warned about Mr Wilson.

And now Jemima was sprawled on her back on the garden path, neck twisted at an awkward angle, fragile arms thrown out as if in surrender.

Mr Wilson gazed ruefully at the prostrate figure, before carrying it to the potting table where he bent his head over it.

A few minutes later, he handed the mended doll back to Amelia, who quickly turned and bolted.

It was wonderful, he thought sadly, to have the company of a child, even for such a short time.

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About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

44 Responses to Forbidden Fruit (Friday Fictioneers, June 2012)

  1. Kwadwo says:

    You played on my emotions for a bit there. Well written.

    http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/28/w-m-d/

    Like

  2. unspywriter says:

    Nice twist at the end, and I liked that it went differently from what you set up. A POV switch, though.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/may-the-punishment-fit/

    Like

  3. dmmacilroy says:

    The dreaded Pillaging of the Raspberries! Dear Sandra, this story was delightful on about four different levels. There was intrigue, possible murder, mayhem at the very least, then suddenly, attentive and sympathetic fatherly love and the longing of a lonely man. Last but not least, the bolting young girl, who will not think quite the same thoughts about Mr. Wilson ever again. I adored this 100 word gem, learned from it, and have placed it in the Envy box. You are a master story teller.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

  4. Kaitlin says:

    Aw, that’s so… so sweet and sad and at first scary. Great job with the multiple twists in so short a time. http://kaitlinandmichaelbranch.com/2012/06/29/friday-fictioneers-8/

    Like

  5. raina says:

    This is a great story Sandra. Dear Mr.Wilson, so wistful. Ours are on the list but here is ont of our links: http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/friday-fictioneers-valentine/

    Like

  6. Adam Ickes says:

    Loved this, Sandra. The her perception of the man is so often that its kind of endearing, and the twist with the doll took me by complete surprise. Well done!

    Mine: http://adamickes.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/berry-tester/

    Like

  7. Wonderful! Drawn first one way then the other, this was cleverly done, and I enjoyed it.
    Ours is here http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/fight-or-flight but is also in the Linked List.

    Like

  8. TheOthers1 says:

    You love to lead me on! I followed willingly of course… Nicely done.

    Like

  9. OMG! This is good, Sandra. And a lovely twist out there. For a moment, I was aghast, then phew! Kudos. Mine is here and linked: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/fridayfictioneers-seduction/

    Like

  10. erinleary says:

    Did not expect that ending. I got this in my email feed and it stopped at the potting bench. Glad to see it all worked out!

    p.s. loved your post about barging on the Loire. So very envious.

    Mine is here: http://wp.me/p1Wqon-bl

    Like

  11. Nice twist! Here I was thinking it was going to be a gruesome dismemberment scene, but it was just the doll, and the old guy was actually just a kind and lonely old man. I love it.

    http://ebooksscifi.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/telestial-by-ilyan-kei-lavanway-for-madison-woods-friday-fictioneers-100-word-flash-fiction

    Like

  12. rgayer55 says:

    I can’t add much to Doug’s comment. This is beautifully written. When you first mentioned Mr. Wilson, I was expecting Dennis Mitchell to show up for a destructive episode. You captured a lot of emotion in 100 words.

    Thanks for the nice comment on mine. http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      Yes, I couldn’t for the life of me think where the name Mr Wilson suddenly sprang into my mind – but it seemed right. And now you’ve reminded me. Thank you.

      Like

  13. This was brilliant! A lovely story! The relief when I discovered that Jemima was a doll! Mine’s on the list.

    Like

  14. Nifti says:

    Yes, well written. its not at all predictable, and that’s good.
    mine: http://niftitalks.com/2012/06/28/scarlet-lady/

    Like

  15. I love a surprise ending. You didn’t disappoint me. I can’t stop smiling as a write.
    mine’s here: http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogpsot.com/2012/06/forgiveness.html

    Like

  16. flyoverhere says:

    What a sweet story! Could make for a fun illustration too!

    Like

  17. mysocalledDutchlife says:

    I’m completely in agreement with Doug (and everyone else). The other thing that caught me was the suspicion with which a single man is labelled – what exactly was the warning about Mr Wilson? Was it only to avoid ruining his beautiful garden? Great story.

    I’m here: http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/friday-fictioneers-29th-june/

    Like

  18. Hi Sandra,
    What a sweet conclusion to what I thought was going to be an ominous story. Good misdirection. My story is here: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/

    Like

  19. You surprised me with the direction you took this time! Loved this story, so full of visuals and feeling.

    Like

  20. JKBradley says:

    Sandra ! ! Why’d you do that to me? First, I’m worried that the rabbits are all being mangled by someone who resembles Jack Nicholson in The Shining. Then, it’s a doll and I think, Christ, it’s not rabbits, its children, and their dolls! Then, no, he’s actually very content and not even a murderous fiend after all. Damn my inner thinking. Damned, indeed.

    Like

  21. janmorrill says:

    What a sweet, surprising and ultimately poignant tale. I hope Amelia will visit him again. Loved it.

    –Jan
    http://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/flashfriday-fictioneers-anticipation/

    Like

  22. Tricksy, tricksy, tricksy you! And awwww, I hope someone comes back to visit him!

    Like

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