Every Cloud… (Friday Fictioneers, July 2012)

This week’s photo prompt from Madison Wood’s Friday Fictioneers.  Thanks to Madison for providing a forum for writers from all over the world. Friday wouldn’t be the same without her.

After I missed a few payments, they started circlin’.  Never off the phone…callin’ at the farm… sendin’ letters.

Life was goin’ to hell in a handcart… hens wouldn’t lay, cows dried up, the bull looked like he was gettin’ in touch with his feminine side.  And the wife…well, she was givin’ me hell, black looks and not much else.

And then he swooped… the bank manager.

Stripped me bare, took the wife, the farm, the stock.  Only thing he left me was the beat-up truck, and that only so’s I’d leave quick.

Good men, bankers.

Won’t hear a word said against ‘em.

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About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

83 Responses to Every Cloud… (Friday Fictioneers, July 2012)

  1. billgncs says:

    guess one has to be grateful for the little things…. sad story.

    Mine’s at bwfiction.wordpress.com

    Like

  2. sue Cottrill says:

    Another good read with vision! loved it Sandra

    Like

  3. raina says:

    Man, mean vulture of a bank manager!

    Like

  4. Kwadwo says:

    They’ll pick you bone dry and leave you bare and naked.
    Nice metaphorical use of the bird.

    http://logo-ligi.com/2012/07/12/soliloquy-of-a-disgruntled-raven/

    Like

  5. Robert Gregory says:

    Hahaha. Great story! The first line made me chuckle, actually, and could see right off its direction. Very nice.

    Like

  6. TheOthers1 says:

    Am I the only person who cracked up? That silver lining is a wee bit thin for this farmer. Lol

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  7. Clever use of the prompt, Sandra, and the narrative did make me smile, despite the topic.
    Love your 2nd paragraph.

    Thanks for your comment on mine.
    http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/tideline-transition

    Like

  8. rochellewisoff says:

    The wife left and took the dog. I’ll really miss the dog. Hahahahaha. Great little story, Sandra. Nice twist.

    Like

  9. Dear Sandra,

    Don’t sugar coat it. How did he really feel?

    This was a great story (again) and made me feel a kinship with you and your MC. We were in somewhat the same vein this week. Come visit when you can.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/roadkill/

    Like

  10. I know he’s a happy man!
    Betcha he’d recommend to a lot o’ other men folk who’d like to get rid o’ a lot of critters that is weighin’ ’em down, including, and may be most of all, the women folk, that they stop paying their mortgages as soon as possible – and then that nice ol’ bank man will just be real happy to o-blige ’em.

    Obviously, a nice story. Thanks, Randy

    Like

  11. writelindy says:

    I like your take on this one Sandra. It is topical and well crafted.

    Like

  12. Mike says:

    A great story Sandra.
    Not often, nowadays, that bankers get a good mention.
    Made me smile.

    Like

  13. A brilliant metaphoric take on the prompt, Sandra. Thanks for coming by. Mine is here and linked for others: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/fridayfictioneers-spectators/

    Like

  14. mysocalledDutchlife says:

    Haha! It’s not so bad if they leave you with a clean slate and no nagging headache!

    Like

  15. Excellent, Sandra. I’m sure there are too many people these days feeling a bit like this. Even just the repeated calls from all those numbers I don’t recognize and so, don’t answer, are like buzzards/vultures of my time. Enjoyed this very much.

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      You’re so right. I get those calls all the time, and it costs me to take the damn’ calls when we’re cruising abroad. Grrrrr!

      Like

      • We’ll be losing our land line soon (on purpose) and although it feels a little weird not to have one after all these years, I’m hopeful that all those people I won’t be informing about my new number will never again find me. I so love caller ID for that very reason. I never answer 800 (toll-free) calls or any from “Anonymous” or and where the number is 1-000-000-0000!! 🙂

        I have to get back to your blog when I have a bit more time and read about your cruising, which sounds wonderful.

        Like

        • Sandra says:

          We’ve still got a land-line though we hardly ever use it. So I’ve got to say that although we’re mostly mobile these days, they still get to us – don’t ask me how. I never return any calls that don’t leave caller ID, but sometimes when you know you’ve got an on-going situation at home…. well there you go!

          Like

  16. Mayumi-H says:

    Sandra, I always love reading your work. 😀 You have such a great ear for this voice, here. Very good use of contractions and colloquial-speech; it really brings out the character!

    Like

  17. What a great take on this picture. Well done! I love the way the piece rises and falls to a finality. Thanks for sharing!

    Like

  18. flyoverhere says:

    When it rains, it pours! Good story with a ring of truth!

    Like

  19. This really made me laugh, it reminded me so much of my mother – she was a farmer’s wife and boy did those bank managers lose every inch of power they had when they sat down to lunch at her table. She knew they really did have the upper hand but boy did she make them sqirm and appreciate every well baked morsel that passed down the oesophagus. Those men all had their manners checked each and every time. Well done!

    I’m in this week for the first time:
    http://wp.me/s1nUrn-buzzard

    Like

  20. rgayer55 says:

    I love the line about the bull getting in touch with his feminine side. This is a great take on the prompt, Sandra.

    http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/

    Like

  21. Ha-ha..the comment about the bull made me chuckie. You mean the banker took the wife as well? Hm…sounds like she went willingly for she knew which side her bread was buttered on. That poor sucker/debtor was pretty much….stripped naked. Nice work.

    Like

  22. Nice turn in the last line. Bank manager/vulture does him a favor to get rid of all his negative baggage! Enjoyed this one.
    best,
    Lorelei
    http://www.westcoastwriters.blogspot.com

    Like

  23. susielindau says:

    Banks are the worst unless you live in Bedford Falls with George Bailey! 🙂 Great dialogue and dialect. Loved it!
    Here’s mine for your readers…
    http://susielindau.com/2012/07/13/be-careful-what-you-wish-110-word-flash-fiction/

    Like

  24. boomiebol says:

    I enjoyed this :). Thanks for stopping by mine

    Like

  25. LOL! Yes those dame bank vultures. It works. 🙂

    Like

  26. sphrbn says:

    A great take, using the buzzard as a metaphor for the banker.

    Like

  27. When we were traveling this past week, we drove past a couple auction houses. The amount of farm machinery in the yard was heartbreaking. Uggg… It’s sad to think how many dreams died and were picked apart by the vultures (who were, in reality, just doing their jobs…)

    ~Susan (www.susanwenzel.com)

    Like

  28. So cleverly told! I love the line about the bull “getting in touch with his feminine side”.

    Like

  29. JKBradley says:

    Sounds like the banker did him a huge favor.

    Like

  30. Melania says:

    That is so great and so TRUE! Damn bankers.

    Like

  31. Karmic Diva says:

    bankers…vultures…yes. great job

    Like

  32. oldentimes says:

    Too much of that going on where I live. Don’t think many are as positive about it as your character.
    Well told in few words.

    Like

  33. tollykit says:

    LOL That was a wonderful twist at the end. I suspect your mc is looking forward to a fresh start.

    Here’s mine
    http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/i-should-leave-fridayfictioneers-poem/

    Like

  34. Kris Kennedy says:

    I always love reading your work. Very effective voice, humor, sad cynicism, and idioms…is the comment about the bull an idiom? If not, it should be…very cool write

    Like

  35. vbholmes says:

    Great job portrayng the bird=vulture=bank manager=savior saga in few words (also like the title). Look forward to wandering around your blog–interesting.

    Like

  36. Sonia Lal says:

    LOL Well that last line was unexpected!

    Like

  37. Oh, so brilliant, turning from the burdens to freedom. And I loved the bull gettin’ in touch with his feminine side!

    Like

  38. Beth Carter says:

    Well done, as always. (Eventhough I am a former banker as is my ex. Actually, I worked at two different banks for years but I didn’t handle loans–I handled the marketing so I didn’t take part in squashing anyone’s dreams.)

    Love your voice on this one–and months ago I started a short story in this same vein. I still plan to use it. It wont’ have a buzzard, though. Methaphorically–or not. Thanks for your nice comments about mine. http://banterwithbeth.blogspot.com

    Like

  39. claireful says:

    Clever use of metaphor. Thanks for your comments on mine.

    Like

  40. Brian Benoit says:

    Great take on the prompt, and a good strong character for the man, though I want him to get angry and go after that banker haha. Maybe that’s coming next? Thanks for commenting on mine!

    Like

  41. mahjira says:

    Haahaa! You got me in the end. I loved how you used the prompt to imitate a banker as a vulture – except the banker was welcomed! No more troubles, just him, his pickup and a clean slate. Very well done. Loved the story.

    Like

  42. Stacey says:

    LOL. Made me laugh. 🙂 Loved “the bull looked like he was gettin’ in touch with his feminine side.”

    Like

  43. Judee says:

    “took the wife” lolol! And the way he said it, too, just lumping her in with the other stuff. Love the voice of this character, the kind of thing it’s easy to overdo, but you got it just right. Not surprised. 🙂

    Like

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