Don’t Leave Me This Way (Friday Fictioneers, October 2012)

copyright-Ron-Pruitt-001Today is Madison Wood’s last day hosting Friday Fictioneers, and from next week Rochelle Wisoff-Fields takes on the mantle.  Good for you Rochelle, we all appreciate your stepping up to the plate in this way.  And thanks Madison, for the work you’ve put into this site.  Thanks to Ron Pruitt for the photo this week – prompted me to go the sobby route.  😦

She won’t go, he thought, watching her stand in line.

Her shoulders straightened, and her chin lifted as she showed her ticket and climbed onto the bus.

He spotted her pale face, chin in hand at a rear window.

The engine started up, doors hissed shut and the bus pulled out onto the highway.

He walked in a daze to the truck, where Snoop sat, tongue lolling, tail wagging, leaning to peer round him to spot the other half of his people.

Head buried in Snoop’s fur, he didn’t notice the bus stop down the road to let someone off.


About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

53 Responses to Don’t Leave Me This Way (Friday Fictioneers, October 2012)

  1. I love a happy ending. This was so much like a 1930’s or 40’s movie. I could see the next shot where the bus speeds by and the couple are lip-locked in reunion. Well done, Sandra. Thanks for the welcome. (no “h” in Wisoff.)

    Like

  2. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Sandra,

    I love your story and echo your sentiment.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

  3. Trudy says:

    I’m glad she didn’t go – at least that’s how I’m reading it – though if I was her, I wouldn’t be leaving the dog behind with him!

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    • Sandra says:

      No, you wouldn’t catch me leaving the dog behind. Took me years before I managed to screw up the courage to leave home because of the family dog. 😦 Thanks for commenting Trudy.

      Like

  4. Abraham says:

    Reading these nice happy stories almost makes me want to re-write mine 🙂
    And I like the nice twist at the end.

    Like

  5. Tom Poet says:

    Did she get back off the bus? Do tell…
    Rochelle is right this reminds me of an old movie. I enjoyed this.
    Tom

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  6. Russell says:

    Ah, so it was the dog that brought her back. The same would hold true at my house, I’m sure. The story reminds me of the song, “She’s Crazy for Leaving” by Rodney Crowell & Guy Clark. You painted the picture well.

    Like

  7. tedstrutz says:

    You almost brought me to tears… and that never happens.

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  8. Hi Sandra,
    That wasn’t weepy after you saved us with a happy ending. And I loved the dog missing her too. Just added to the despair. Excellent, as always. Ron

    Like

  9. writeondude says:

    Nah, it was probably just someone who forgot to go to the bathroom before they got on. Either way, excellent story. 🙂

    Like

  10. unspywriter says:

    Oh, would that it always turned out that way, but some days we need a happy ending. Good characterization and storytelling.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/an-inverse-relationship/

    Like

  11. I like a happy ending, too. Thanks for indulging me, Sandra! 😉 I love the “other half of his people” reference; that’s so spot on. And my Dad has a dog called Snoop, so this connected very well with me!

    Like

  12. elmowrites says:

    Really really a great story, Sandra. Totally heartbreaking (why is it the dog makes the heartbreak so much stronger than the human story alone?) and I *really* hope the ending is what I want it to be.

    Like

  13. Jan Morrill says:

    I love this. I wanted to cry when I read, “…leaning to peer round him to spot the other half of his people,” but then smiled in relief when I read the last line. Very nice.

    Like

  14. vb holmes says:

    Like the visuals of “her chin lifted”, then “chin in hand” to depict her changing mood.

    Like

  15. Yay! A happy ending. I love the chin in hand at the rear window, and the doors hissing shut. Well done! It’s very subtle and delicate.

    Like

  16. Lora says:

    A happy one-word response, Sandra…..AWWWWW…..

    Like

  17. keliwright says:

    Sweet ending. My favorite part is when the dog looks for “the other half of hs people.” And I’m a cat person…

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      I don’t often write about dogs – it makes me sentimental. Whereas I can enjoy but maintain a detachment when writing about cats… Thanks for commenting.

      Like

  18. rich says:

    reminds me of the end of “the bridges of madison county,” when you waited to see if meryl streep would get out of the truck. nicely done.

    Like

  19. billgncs says:

    I like happy endings, and I liked this. Good one

    Like

  20. Kathy McClure says:

    You had me at Snoop. No, but seriously, I’m glad it ended like that. Very cinematic and just enough sentiment.

    Like

  21. Awww, I always love endings like that. I didn’t think it was too sappy, just the right amount of sniffles 🙂

    Like

  22. Great story Sandra.

    Like

  23. Brian Benoit says:

    Aww, for me the dog was the most strongly emotional element; I loved that line about him looking for the other half of his people. And a hopeful ending is always nice — great job on this one!

    Like

  24. Pingback: The Great Escape – Friday Fictioneers, October 2015 | castelsarrasin

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