Every Cloud… (Friday Fictioneers, December 2012)

This week’s Friday Fictioneers prompt photo is courtesy of Rich Voza.  Thanks Rich, great photo.

(And it’s my birthday on the 15th, Rochelle.    Yup, I was one of those lucky kids to whom people said “We’ll get you something big for Christmas to do for both.” ) 😦

Imelda said it gets easier; but it doesn’t.

Escort service perhaps, but it boils down to the same thing, doesn’t it?


Which room did they say?  Ah, that’s it, 740.

I breathe deeply, fluff up my hair.

We need the money, I can do this. The mortgage is overdue, and the school fees are coming up.  It’s only till he finds another job.  Just another punter, one more quick lay.

The client opens the door, and I find myself staring into the stricken face of my father.

Now, I reflect, might be a good time to ask about a loan.

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
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81 Responses to Every Cloud… (Friday Fictioneers, December 2012)

  1. Wow, what a terrible moment for everyone!! I can’t believe two of you already have a similar take on this prompt. Remind me never to run like the wind if I ever see a hallway like this!!


  2. Ooh, that’s an awkward moment. Like her quick thinking at the end!


  3. Yikes. What a predicament! I don’t know whether to gasp or laugh. So well done, Sandra!
    My husband’s birthday is also Dec. 15. 🙂


  4. Ha!
    Sad ha, ironic ha, sardonic ha – ho ha!

    Nice write.


  5. Dear Sandra,

    So it turns out it was just another punter. I really liked this story of your. It had a great feel to it. Snappy, fast and realistic, and then the twist at the end. Perfect.




  6. sue Cottrill says:

    I wonder, did she ever tell her mother, or just kept on bribing her father!


  7. Abraham says:

    Well written.


  8. claireful says:

    Brilliant story Sandra. A really great ending that I didn’t see coming, and the last line rounds it off perfectly.


  9. Anne Orchard says:

    Some great timing here Sandra, the ability to think on her feet like that should have her back on track in no time.


  10. JKBradley says:

    Hooker Humor.

    Both serious and light, a good read. Thanks.


  11. eikenlaan says:

    I love the twist and a big story in a few words, great work 🙂


  12. Russell says:

    Well done, Sandra. Yes indeed, a good time to negotiate for a loan–or a bribe. Let’s make sure Mother doesn’t hear of this.


  13. Tom Poet says:


    My favorite from you so far. Nice work.



  14. wmqcolby says:

    This story gave me what I have never had before … my own literary WTF moment!
    (meaning: ya had me by the twig and berries).


  15. Heidi says:

    Talk about Daddy issues…hee hee.


  16. R. E. Hunter says:

    Good one. Depending on the situation between her and her husband (i.e. does he know?), she might be in a good bargaining position 8^)


  17. Hi Sandra,
    Best whorin’ story, far from borin’, even if you’re foreign, it left me roarin’. Ron


  18. rich says:

    holy crap, i’m cringing. well done.


  19. Parul says:

    My God! That’s terrible!
    I had seen a french movie not so long ago where the girl runs into her neighbor, a close friend of her father’s.
    Times when you just want to disappear in thin air!


  20. Judee says:

    Now that was an interesting surprise! I loved the last line about the loan. 😉


  21. D’oh… That’s when they shut the door and everyone tries to forget it ever happened.


  22. Pete says:

    Second one I’ve read on this theme, must be all those anaonymous doors. Well done again, Sandra. Love to know how the conversation went after he opened the door!


  23. unspywriter says:

    Holy crap! That was quite the quicker. Perfect building of tension and pow. Great last line, and a lot of nuance there.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/the-purge/


  24. billgncs says:

    wow – at least she can think quickly on her feet. A sort adult “gift of the magi”


  25. Yikes! (Thank god I didn’t have a daughter.)

    That’s a twist worthy of Alfred Hitchcock with a touch of Quentin Tarantino. Cool title too; you could have called it “Whorin,” but this was much better.


  26. elmowrites says:

    haha, the humour’s coming thick and fast this week. A terrible moment, but I love the last line! Great story.
    I’m 31st December, but my parents always put their foot down about combined presents, so I didn’t do too badly out of the proximity to Christmas … except the 11 month present-drought for the rest of the year!


    • Sandra says:

      Somehow, 31st December seems further away from Christmas than birthdays occurring during the run up and I’m glad your parents saw it that way too. I remember one year my parents saying that they couldn’t afford to spend much on my birthday with all the other expenses that they had for Christmas. They only used that excuse once, though, given the temper tantrum I flew into. 🙂 Even at that age I could see the flaws in the rationale; it wasn’t like they didn’t know it was coming… Sheesh! This month we’re changing the car, and my husband keeps on telling me it’s my birthday and christmas present combined… he knows how to get me going!


      • elmowrites says:

        ooh, that’s fighting talk. Tell him he’s not getting any presents for Christmas because Santa doesn’t think he’s been good.
        mind you, we’re seriously considering buying our son a tumble dryer for Christmas … it’s not like he’ll know!!


  27. erinleary says:

    Love it. Great twist at the end as is your usual. I enjoy the way your mind works. Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/flash-friday-fiction-16/


  28. brudberg says:

    Wow, that twist is terrible, and funny at the same time.


  29. mari wells says:

    Oh My! Now that I picked my jaw up off the floor, This is truly… I don’t know what to say. !!


  30. JackieP says:

    I actually laughed, then frowned, then laughed again. Wow, I wonder who was more embarrassed?


  31. Oh my, oh my. There’s a relationship that will never be the same. You do a great job of introducing the character with her thoughts, but what really brought her to life for me was the last line. She’s going to cope no matter what happens!


  32. Joyce says:

    Wow. (If I have interpreted this right). Looks like his secret vice, and her secret life. What to do, where to run. Either a quick decision is needed, or confess each of them and bare their souls, only. A room can hide many a surprise and face.


  33. elappleby says:

    Brilliant story – and I’m a Christmas baby too so I feel your pain 🙂


  34. Debra Kristi says:

    Damn. LOL. That’s just indicative of dysfunctional families today. Will she ask for that loan? And daddy will pretend like that’s the real reason she’s there and it’s not odd that she’s dressed like a whore or knew how to find him. D’oh! Oh my.

    Happy Birthday!


  35. Oh, Wow! Sandra!! A good one, indeed. They both have some explaining to do. Great twist and unexpected. Enjoyed it!


  36. Oh, and Happy Birthday!!


  37. Ha! Everything in this story even the tabu of incest. I’m sure they both wanted to crawl away somewhere and die. Well done.


  38. I can’t believe these back-to-back stories. I just finished commenting on “Sugar-Daddy” Santa (40again) and here is Sandra with her whore coming face-to-face with her real daddy. What are the odds of this happening? Loved both stories. Happy Birthday, Sandra.


  39. Tessa says:

    What a twist! Great story!


  40. Whoa! Talk about your worst nightmare if your on the Game. Top story, brill 🙂


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