A Place Of Her Own (Friday Fictioneers, February 2013)

This week’s photo prompt for Friday Fictioneers came from Claire Fuller.  Talented lady – both photo and artwork are hers. 

I’ve gone dark again, I’m afraid.  Must be the time of the year.  😦

 

His attentions were suffocating; his perpetual intimacy invasive.  There was never a moment for her to indulge in private reflection, or to savour her own space.

She could not pass by without a lingering hand round her waist, a beery kiss on her cheek, a nose burrowing for the fragrance of her hair.

“Leave me alone,” she wanted to scream.

Then one day she found him asleep with her open journal on his chest.  Snatching up a chisel, she stabbed, time and time again, tears mingling with blood.

When he awoke she lay dead; safe in her own space at last.

 

 

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

99 Responses to A Place Of Her Own (Friday Fictioneers, February 2013)

  1. Yikes. Wouldn’t it have been easier for her to just leave? Well written in any case, Sandra.

    Like

  2. Sandra says:

    I suppose you could say the same for victims of domestic abuse. And then there’s the question of what he might have read in her journal… 😉

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  3. Jan Brown says:

    Oh, that’s a shocker! Very well done.

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  4. zennjennc says:

    Nice, dark, but sad twist at the end. I wonder what was in that journal…

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  5. claireful says:

    I knew I shouldn’t have left those chisels lying around… I really thought she was stabbing him until the last line. Very dark. I really like it.

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  6. sue Cottrill says:

    Thanks once again for another good read

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  7. boomiebol says:

    Yikes…didn’t see that coming. He will most likely join her, very well done.

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  8. vbholmes says:

    Talk about an unexpected ending–wow! His obsession must have literally “driven her mad”.

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  9. Parul says:

    Wow, that’s really dark and scary.
    Very well written, as always.

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  10. Oh my! She had no where to go but death. Gives new meaning to suffocating love.

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  11. muZer says:

    I see that, Sandra.. our stories are similar but still different.. She should’ve just stabbed him when he was asleep.. 🙂 Great story.

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  12. I didn’t see that coming. Powerful ending. This is a story that will stick with me. Nicely done Sandra.

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  13. deanabo says:

    This is full of pain and revenge. love it.

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  14. nightlake says:

    so scary..and the ending unexpected as usual..very well written..

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  15. Erin Leary says:

    Did she think she was killing him, only to kill herself? I had a similar take on the picture, but a little more vindicative….

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  16. You always write well and the ending was unexpected. It’s OK to do dark, especially when you do it well.

    janet

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  17. kz says:

    how dare he read her journal.. there’s a possibility that her stay in that house is not voluntary.. haunting. scary. well i hope he doesn’t follow her to the depths of hell lol great story

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  18. Awesome twist. Was not expecting it. Excellent. Yet sad.

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  19. pennycoho says:

    Most interesting, still trying to decide what I like best about it. The surprise ending, or the story-line itself! 🙂

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  20. Well-written, complex, and so sad. It feels odd to say “good job” to such a sad tale, but there it is… Good job, Sandra!

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  21. annisik51 says:

    What’s really chilling about this tale is that it mirrors back that it happens in life. And how close are we all to ‘the edge’. We never know! I’m shivering!

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  22. unspywriter says:

    Ooh, didn’t expect that! Very masterful twist, and so authentic-sounding. Oh, yes, I’ve almost been there.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/hephaestus-wedge/

    Like

  23. elappleby says:

    Loved this – beautiful first line – unexpected ending. Beautifully written throughout. One of my favourites this week 🙂

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  24. Did she get too much love? Well, cuddling may have got cumbersome in there…You did a good one with the chisel and her death…One would have thought she would ease him out of her space but alas!!! 🙂

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  25. His attentions were suffocating; his perpetual intimacy invasive. There was never a moment for her to indulge in private reflection, or to savour her own space.

    Ugh, what did she have to lose in dying? That poor girl was already in hell…

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  26. Sandra says:

    Gosh what a twist! I loved the description of the abuse at the beginning, you have interpreted the picture of the entwined heads beautifully. The twist at the end then is just brilliant!

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  27. sandraconner says:

    What a gifted writer you are, Sandra. I much prefer happy endings for my own personal reading (so much sadness in the real world already), but I do take great delight in seeing such talent and creativity given free reign like this. Any true writer cannot help but appreciate what you’ve done with this piece.

    Like

  28. Beth Carter says:

    Wow. This is powerful. I too felt suffocated by his hand around her waist and the beery kiss on her cheek. And then, bam, he’s reading her journal! I can see she cracked. Well done.

    Like

  29. A sad and dark story, very well told with a great twist that had me gaping. Well done, Sandra 🙂 http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2013/02/01/fridayfictioneers-janus

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  30. That chisel did not hit were I expected. Thank you for the brilliant deception

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  31. t says:

    Can I say, you do “dark” deliciously well!

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  32. tedstrutz says:

    Hot Damn, Sandra!!! What a shock… great story.

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  33. Love the details in the beginning and the twist at the end!

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  34. Don’t think it was anything he learned in the journal that sparked her actions, it was just the ultimate invasion into her privacy. Nice twist, but she still should have killed him, if anyone!

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  35. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Sandra,

    I need another button. This would be the ‘Love this’ button. i’d still be clicking. What a splendid story. Your style is so delightful. (Have to agree with Rochelle, though. Wouldn’t be me I was stabbing, were I her.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      Glad you liked it Doug. Or ‘loved’ it. Some women are just so self-effacing, they always internalise conflict. You wouldn’t catch me doing it, but that’s why I enjoy writing about them. 😉

      Like

  36. denmother says:

    Sandra,
    A fabulous twist. You got me.
    Denmother

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  37. Sarah Ann says:

    Oh wow. I am going to have to start reading from the bottom up. The suffocating love was palpable. But I agree with Doug, she killed the wrong person.

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  38. The mind can be a very scary place.

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  39. Poor girl. At first I thought she was killing him – but she took a more desperate escape route. Was finding out that he read her journal the final straw? (Actually, I think we saw much the same thing in the statue – a relationship that looks like love from one side and control from the other.)

    Like

  40. Tom Poet says:

    Sandra,
    I waited to read your work this week…Kinda like hiding a cupcake in the back of the cupboards…and as t said earlier Delicious!

    Tom

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  41. Joe Owens says:

    I confess Sandra, i had already begun to from my reply before I read the last sentence and you shocked me! Wow, that is what I get for assuming the end, huh? What i was thiking is that Friday Fictioneers can be a murderous lot, but this is self sacrifice to the extreme. Poor girl felt she had no way out and something in the journal made the decision urgent. Very good work.

    Like

  42. rgayer55 says:

    I really enjoyed your story, Sandra. There couldn’t have been much interesting in the journal. It put him right to sleep. It’s sad that she felt she had to take this route to escape.

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  43. That was really good. She stabbed herself?

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  44. elmowrites says:

    Ooh, nice twist. As I just commented to someone else – this statue is causing a lot of deaths this weekend! the only place I would suggest any change in the word “stabbing”, which just didn’t feel quite confortable to me. I see why you chose it over soemthing more obviously suicide related and I don’t have any suggestions for you, but it just didn’t quite flow as well as the rest of the story for me.
    Great story, and once again, you and I so often think alike!!!

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      Funny how you often sense the same conflict as I do in a piece. I didn’t like the word, far to energetic for the mood, but not enough words to go get the pill bottle or a rope, and he had to remain asleep throughout so the gun was out of it. 🙂 After deliberation, I gave in and used something already in the picture. Thanks for commenting.

      Like

  45. Wow, that last line is quite a twist. I had to back and reread the lines before since I was sure she had stabbed him. The savagery of it gives a great look into the pent-up emotions she must have harbored.

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  46. Abraham says:

    Excellent writing! Great twist!

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  47. Whoa, now I didn’t see that ending coming. I was expecting that she’d kill him instead – well done 🙂

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  48. rich says:

    good that she is at peace, but it is sad that these are the measures it took. well done.

    Like

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