This week’s Friday Fictioneers photo prompt was supplied by Lora Mitchell. Sorry if it’s a bit dreary, but I’ve done horror to death in recent weeks and have indulged in fantasy and sci-fi for other challenges this week.
The others left hours ago; there seemed little point, so I stayed.
Outside cars have queued for hours, their rear-lights dancing in the raindrops spattering my window. No headlights in sight; nobody is heading this way.
No-one with any sense anyway.
One by one the lights in the skyscrapers are winking out and here in my apartment I’ve lit a candle to save whatever electricity remains. Habit, I guess.
The lily’s waxen petals begin to droop and curl.
It’s nearly midnight, and now the traffic is still, silent.
Nothing is moving, except the petals, falling like tears on the windowsill.
No, not dull at all, I agree with your senses..too much science-fiction is too much. I think this is beautiful and survives by emotion and atmosphere alone…now stay off the tears for the next one! But I really liked it.It’s almost like a long haiku.
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Thank you! It’s good to ring the changes, I agree.
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Wow Sanda! I’ve been away from your fictioneer stories for way too long! Nice to see that after all this time you are still not disappointing! Apocalypse stories flat out rule!! You just might inspire me to get back in the 100 word fiction game! 🙂 Loved it!!!!!!!
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Thank you! Nice to see you on here. I was over at your site the other night to read your bank robber story – loved it. Hope you get the FF bug again soon. 😉
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Seems an end is coming. She has chosen not to leave?
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I could identify with that, I guess. Thanks for dropping by.
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Really good Sandra, and dread can be good it it’s written like this.
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Thank Bjorn, glad you liked it.
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Lovely, even if the end is nigh. 🙂
janet
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Thanks Janet, glad you liked it.
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Simply splendiferous! Like poetry. Good work this week, Sandra.
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Thanks Kent, glad you liked it.
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Beautifully written. Poetic.
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Thank you!
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You really do have a wonderful way with your words.
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Thank you. 🙂
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This was soft, sad, pretty. Very nice.
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Thank you! glad you liked it.
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Poetry for the lily. / fits well with the somber mood
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Thanks. 🙂
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this was very well done..signalling the end is near..nicely written, Sandra
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Thank you nightlake. 🙂
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I think this was really self-containted and subtle for something so tragic, very well done!
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Oh I keep misspelling things today.. that was meant to read ‘self-contained’. Sorry Sandra
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I don’t know, I rather liked the word ‘self-containted’. 🙂 Thanks for commenting.
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You reminded me of the Black Out in New York in the 60’s – I played Candy Land by candle light. The lights came back on.
I based Semi de “Lilium” on the diminishing assets of my elders. They still have spirit and spunk. Though I think it gets just a little harder each day. We can only hope that family makes up for the loss of departed friends.
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Yes, I enjoyed yours. Thank you for dropping by mine.
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Very nice, this one. Like the earth going to sleep for winter…
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Yes, I guess it is. Thank you.
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Wonderfully atmospheric and beautifully written.
Loved it.
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Thanks!
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wow this is almost like poetry… wonderfully written 🙂
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Thanks kz, I found this week’s prompt quite difficult.
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Lights going off, saving electricity…a dystopian story? Like the imagery of the dying petals tying in with the lights winking out, as if life is slowly draining away from everything in view.
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Yes, there’s something about petals falling off lilies – I quite often have them around the house. Thanks for dropping by.
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Not giving up just giving in. Well told story.
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That’s exactly right Kim. Thanks.
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It’s the end of the world as we know it. Nicely conveyed images.
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I keep saying I won’t do post-apocalyptic… but I keep drifting back. 😦
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Hi Sandra,
Subtle story about our possible future. I think it’s interesting that almost everyone has a gloomy, apocalyptic view of what’s coming. Not that I don’t agree. Sounds like the party’s over. Ron
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Thanks Ron, you can’t help dwelling on this possibility. Well I can’t…. 😉
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Well told. Gives us something to think about.
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Thanks Catherine.
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oooh, very apocalyptic, end of the world vibe going here
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Thank you for dropping in Carrie.
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It’s starting to sound a bit like that movie: 4:44
Good job!
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/03/13/friday-fictioneers-who-woulda-thought-genre-fiction-rated-pg13/
Scott
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Yes, it’s not my most original piece of work – I hate resorting to apocalypse but the prompt really stumped me this week. Thanks for commenting.
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Oh, Dear One, such a tragic tale. I can just imagine it really happening…
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Thanks for dropping by. 🙂
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Dear Sandra,
I keenly felt the desolation. Good job.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. Enjoyed yours.
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Very well written, as always 🙂
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Thank you.
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Intriguing tale and beautifully wrought. I had to read it twice to make certain I understood, but I still admired it.
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Thanks Lindaura, and for taking the trouble to read it twice. 🙂
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Very good writing, Sandra. You have a perfect balance of all the forces and emotions involved.
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Thanks Sandra. 🙂
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Nicely written, melancholy piece.
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Thanks Pete.
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Very subtle post-apocalyptic tale. I loved the line about the candles in the skyscraper going out. Excellent story.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/september-morning-forever/
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Thanks Maggie. Yours was a corker this week!
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I felt sadness and isolation. I really loved the last sentence.
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Thank you Michael.
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This is the end, my only friend, the end. Very effective piece, but not dreary for me because I survived! (I drank from the lily, or something like that.)
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🙂 Thanks Perry.
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I enjoyed this – it felt empty and hollow – the world ending and nothing left to live for – okay, so maybe enjoyed is the wrong word – but I appreciated it! 🙂
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Thank you! 🙂 I know what you mean.
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Sounds like doomsday that she’s decided not to outrun. Great imagery with the dying plant.
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That’s about it. Yes, the plant was symbolic. Thanks for commenting.
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I love the descriptive language you use. The line “to save whatever electricity remains” hints at a pretty dire situation underneath the seemingly normal scene.
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Thanks for commenting David.
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It reminded me of those who refuse to evacuate prior to a hurricane or any other forewarned disaster. An interesting contrast to the symbol of the resurection.
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Thanks Russell, yes both ends of the spectrum, as it were.
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Their rear-lights dancing in the raindrops spattering my window. Nice imagery there Sandra, this was very atmospheric. She sounds as if she has almost given up. The more I read FF the more impressed I am at the skills of participants like you. I think I will learn a lot from this group, apart from getting to read great pieces like this one.
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Thank you. It’s lovely to have you on board! 🙂
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The end of the world? Nice one.
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Thank you. 🙂
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Thanks for writing.
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My pleasure!
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This is poetic….Very nicely done, a little dreary maybe but it fits the prompt. I really like it.
It is always a treat come over to your page and read your work even if you are writing something sad. Well done!
Tom
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Think I need to change the batteries on this keyboard I have words missing all over the place today!
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Thanks for commenting! 🙂
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Beautiful language!
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Thank you. 🙂
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This isn’t dreary. It full of feeling and has made me feel ever so slightly miserable, but that’s the power of the writing. I like the way you used the lily’s petals as analogy.
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Thank you! Hope you’re feeling brighter now! 😉
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Ooh, you’re taking us somewhere scary with this one, even if you claim you’ve eschewed horror this week! I got a bit mixed up in the time line – seems like the cars are queueing in the present tense and yet then you say the traffic is still and silent??
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Well I was writing in the present tense, describing what had been happening earlier and then switching entirely to the present. But I agree that there is an unfortunate mish-mash of tenses here that needs looking at for future reference. Today is a bad technology day here; I tried to print out a text on tenses so I could more fully respond but the printer has expired; and just to add to the frustration, WordPress is asking me to moderate all my OWN comments on this particular posting. I think I may go back to bed.:(
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lights a candle to save whatever electricity is left…even at the end, old habits are hard to break. something to ponder on…i like your story. ♥
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I’m glad you picked up on that… I hadn’t. 😦 Thanks for commenting.
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funny how we write things and people see things in a different way. i love that about writing. you’re welcome, Sandra. i enjoy reading your stories. 🙂
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I don’t find this dreary. I find it peaceful.
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I’m glad about that! Thanks for dropping by.
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Great story this week Sandra. I like post-apocalyptic stories, and this one is a fantastic start to something bigger. I really want to know why they’re all leaving and she isn’t. You’re going to say you don’t know, aren’t you?
Claire
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I’m going to say she’s a fatalist, or she’s terminally ill anyway, or … I guess I don’t know. 🙂 Thanks for dropping by Claire.
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Loved how you used the lily but I did not get the gloomy feeling everyone else did. Not ashamed to say I read it twice. Loved the last line.
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Sandra, you depict a sad, eerie scene here. I wonder why everyone is leaving. A storm? The zombie apocalypse? The description of the lily curling captures the gloom of the event well. Great!
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The last line is definitely a corker–good doomsday story.
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Beautiful, imaginative and so descriptive, not the end surely???
Love your writing Sandra
Dee
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