Prairie Devil (Friday Fictioneers, March 2013)

Photo courtesy of Douglas M Macilroy

I’d just about resigned myself to not taking part in Friday Fictioneers this week, so bereft was I of inspiration.  I’m not happy about this one, but as little as I know of horses, I was pretty much stuck.  I even had to Google to find if horses can actually kneel down!

Prairie Devil

The cold water roused me.

I struggled to focus as Mystic dropped the hosepipe, snickering gently.  My head throbbed unmercifully from the fall but even with one eye half-closed I saw the dust-cloud approaching.

Mystic saw it too and whinnied nervously.  Then she fell to her knees beside me, nudging my arm until I swung myself unsteadily over her back.

The fiery carriage, drawn by six foam-flecked black stallions drew closer.

Mystic rolled her eyes, wheeled and bolted, but not before I saw those glittering red eyes, and felt his rage as we fled.

Not yet, my fiend.  Not yet.


About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

103 Responses to Prairie Devil (Friday Fictioneers, March 2013)

  1. Oh, I like this very much! I hope you’ll continue your paranormal western in future weeks!

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  2. jjtoner says:

    I was going ask if “fiend” at the end should be “friend” but I think not. ??

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  3. Well I think your muse was out in front getting you on that horse…

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  4. deanabo says:

    oh, I love this type of story. Very good!

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  5. I’d say your inspiration served you well, after all. Good story.

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  6. yepiratehere says:

    Dealing with your demons! Actually very good, real suspense and action. Real artistry, given that it is off the cuff etc.

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  7. I can tell it’s not your genre, but you did a good job with it, as I would expect. Horses don’t snicker, they wicker or nicker, unless you’re personifying the horse (which I don’t see you doing) or she’s laughing, which wouldn’t fit. 🙂 Hope I don’t run into your fiend out in Wyoming this summer!!!

    janet

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  8. Sandra says:

    Hah! I knew I should have left well alone! 🙂

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  9. Positively so Dante’ish! Spooky.

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  10. oh no, chased by the devil, loved the image you painted here.

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  11. elmowrites says:

    I can’t believe I posted beofre you, Sandra. Must have beena bad week indeed! You came up with something new and intriguing though; sometimes it’s good to have a challenge.

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  12. wmqcolby says:

    Very good, Sandra. Had some suspense in it and everything! Fun read.

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  13. Sandra says:

    It’s good to experiment with different genres, you never know what you’ll come up with and I really like this!

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  14. kz says:

    loved that you created a monster in this story! ^^ i always love doing that. your fiend sounds interesting ^^

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  15. I love that! My kind of story. “Not yet, my fiend.” Very nice play on words. 🙂

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  16. writelindy says:

    I loved this story and think that the wait was worth it.

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  17. vbholmes says:

    I read your comment above about the personal demon–I must admit I thought he had a near-death fall and it was the devil coming to get him. Good story–traditional or paranormal.

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  18. Nice tension and thrill in this writing.. I enjoyed.

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  19. claireful says:

    Disturbing images in this one. I liked it.

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  20. Anne Orchard says:

    Sometimes it’s hard, and yet it all comes out well. I struggled this week as well, so you have my sympathy. But I thought your story read perfectly. My heart was in my mouth when the red eyes appreared.

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  21. Hi Sandra,
    I know what you mean about struggling to come up with a good story. Some weeks are like that. But you managed a great story. It has all the flavor of an old west drama, with some occult scariness thrown in for good measure. Thanks for the comment on my story. ron

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  22. I think you did great. I want to know more about the fiend. What an intriguing introduction! I was having a hard time with this picture too. I went the safe route, kudos to you for going toward uncharted territory.

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  23. julespaige says:

    I really like this. And to think you almost didn’t post. Sometimes you have to let things stew a bit. I have learned how useful Google is. I remember reading too that you need to have your facts clear. I’ve been called gentle to the carpet once or twice.

    Thanks for your visit.

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      What did we ever do when we didn’t have Google at our finger-tips? But are we really so much wiser now, with all these facts? Thanks for dropping by.

      Like

  24. jwdwrites says:

    Wow, and that’s without inspiration? That was great! 🙂

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  25. Nicely done, enjoyed it.

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  26. Dear Sandra,
    While you might not be knowledgeable i the equestrian department your writing is still clear and your story-line good. Love the wordplay with ‘fiend’. Glad you didn’t sit this one out.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

    Like

  27. billgncs says:

    Hi — I always count on you for a good twist, and you continue to deliver.

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  28. Sandra says:

    Thanks Bill! Enjoyed yours this week. (As I do every week 😉 )

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  29. petrujviljoen says:

    Written without inspiration? Well-written I say.

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  30. zookyworld says:

    After you almost didn’t write a story this week, I’m glad you did — this is good! Your description of a fiery carriage, then Mystic and the narrator escaping is fantastic.

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  31. Joe Owens says:

    Sandra, i don’t think your lack of equine knowledge hampered your story in the least. You brought about great drama through this story.

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  32. erinleary says:

    Keep running! Though not feeling inspired, you did a great job, as always.

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  33. Glad you didn’t horse around with this one because i think you did great. Very dark and disturbing.

    Randy

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  34. denmother says:

    Sandra, if this is what comes of little inspiration, you have gobs of talent. Well done.
    Denmother

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  35. elappleby says:

    Hi Sandra
    I loved this story – the last line especially. What a thrill!

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  36. JackieP says:

    For not being inspired you did great! Wish I was ‘not inspired’ as well as you pulled it off 😉

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  37. Beth Carter says:

    Well done! I’m glad you didn’t sit this one out. Very good images here and a great story.

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  38. rgayer55 says:

    I glad you wrote this. It was a tough prompt for me too, especially after that 10 cent nag threw me in front of the store. Glad you escaped the demon–at least for now.

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  39. Sarah Ann says:

    I’m glad you didn’t sit this week out – really enjoyed this. Can see those red eyes glittering across the prairie.

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  40. Pretty impressive for someone who claims they don’t know horses – and you certainly portrayed the fall from the horse perfectly.

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  41. For someone bereft of inspiration, the story worked out pretty well. Onward, Mystic, you fiend you!

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  42. Nothing’s like those red eyes… Loved that detail that made all the difference.

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  43. EmmaMc says:

    It was hard this week but you created a great story and an excellent play on words!

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  44. Trudy says:

    I like a nice spooky Western, a really interesting take on the picture 🙂

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  45. I can just imagine him rearing back, a silhouette against the sky!

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  46. Sunshine says:

    cheers for Mystic and anticipating the great danger! i love your story, Sandra. ♥

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  47. For someone with no inspiration, you did a nice job. Amazes me how many stories have the name “Mystic” in them.

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    • Sandra says:

      Thanks Shirley. Doug’s site has the background to the photo prompt, and there it says the horse is called Mystic. Like you, I wondered why everyone else was using that name, until I saw that. 🙂

      Like

  48. Tom Poet says:

    Sandra,
    If you don’t participate you may see my eyes glowing red and it won’t be from the THC. I will have none of that talk…Your writing is a treat to me cause i never know where you may be going each week. It’s like a surprise to me every week. Good stuff as normal and I also enjoyed the word play at the end. You make it looks so easy. Keep it up!
    Tom

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  49. 40again says:

    Loved your take on the prompt Sandra, a bit spooky and dark…excellent and very enjoyable.
    I nearly passed on this week’s challenge too, Mystic looked so happy and I had nothing really happy to say!
    Dee

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  50. annisik51 says:

    I read your story and then a quote came to mind (or rather my faulted memory of it):

    And having once turn’d round, walks on
    And turns no more his head:
    Because he knows, a frightful fiend
    Doth close behind him tread.

    We are all dogged, or in this case ‘horsed’ 🙂 by ‘personal fiends’ and you used the prompt well to draw attention to this.

    Ann

    Like

  51. Sandra says:

    I remember those lines from somewhere. Do you have the citation? I suppose I could googe it. Thanks for dropping by and commenting.

    Like

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