Copyright Janet Webb
Apologies to all those Friday Fictioneers whose stories I didn’t get to read and comment on last week; I was rushing to catch a plane to Spain. This week I’m rushing to catch one back again. 😦 And I’ll try to do better when I get back to England.
The walls between our units were paper thin; next door the thump of heavy-duty machines heralded the birth of belts and handbags, whilst in here makeshift power connections flickered and sparked above production lines foaming with tawdry silk underwear.
It was a living.
Today, above the yellow smog that wreathes the island, fat-cats cruise in silver birds across a cerulean arc. Hundreds of souls drift between the high-rise buildings, watching the Star Ferries butt relentlessly across the greasy grey sea with their human cargoes.
The walls between our units were paper thin; when the fire started we never stood a chance.
castelsarrasin 
A sad story — and a creative response to go from the sections in the wasp’s nest to thin-walled units. I hope you had a great time in Spain!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Dear Sandra,
Your story is masterfully written. You made me see, hear, smell and feel in 100 words. I love the way you stepped way outside the box. Stunning use of the prompt with only “paper thin walls.”
Beautiful,
shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle – this was a lovely but difficult photo prompt this week.
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Dear Sandra,
This is one of your best ever. Lulls the reader then slams them between the eyes with a sledge hammer at the end. Wow.
Aloha,
Doug
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Doug nailed my feelings too. This is an exceptional piece, Sandra.
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Thank you Doug! I know my view of Hong Kong differs to yours. 🙂
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Okay, I keep reading it, and it’s amazingly wonderfully descriptively abstractly abstruse with a hard-hitting punchline, and what strikes me as a humorous or mocking title. So it’s something about working in Hong Kong, the city-scape, living there, and unfortunately dying there because of the nature the way the paper-thin places are built.
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Glad you liked it. Yes the title was meant to be cynical.
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Each week I ponder how to say how much I like what you did with the prompt. Maybe I should just link to previous comments and let you re-read them. Reminiscent of the factory fires earlier in history as well. Lovely writing bringing to life a terrible disaster. Glad you made to Spain and pray you make the one home easily and have a safe trip.
janet
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Thank you Janet, glad you enjoyed it. A bumpy flight home, both of us suffering from flu as had been the case since before we left. Glad to be home now for a quieter life.
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Just saw this, which is horribly like your story: http://www.news.com.au/world-news/explosion-at-fertiliser-plant-near-waco-texas/story-fndir2ev-1226623333230.
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Yes I saw that whilst we were in Spain. Terrible, such a violent explosion.
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Well done, Sandra. Excellent as usual, I can see the workshops vividly.
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Thanks Pete. Glad I brought them to life.
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So poignant, especially with the repitition of that line. And although I’ve never been, it feels like you’ve really captured the essence of a place.
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I know of others who really love HK, and I was prepared to do so. Just didn’t happen for me, I found it so bleak. We were there on a recce as there was a likelihood of my husband being transferred there. Fortunately there was a re-think and we went to South Africa. Thanks for reading.
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This screams sweat shops in New York…early 20th century.
Love it
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Yes, I suppose it would be the same scenario. Thanks for dropping by Carrie.
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Your story really made me think this week Sandra. I had to work hard to see the meaning, which is no bad thing. I thought it summed up the exploitation of people one country to satisfy the consumption of another. More of a dying than a living in this case.
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Thanks Anne. I did wonder whether to put that line in but didn’t have enough words.
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You are not talking to yourself, Sandra. Nice imagery… made me think of The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory.
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Thanks Ted. I suppose there are many similar such places around the world.
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I certainly did not see tha gruesome end coming as you drew me in.
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Thanks Joe!
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Capitalisms dirty little secret.
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Thanks for dropping by JK.
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Very well written and a good reminder of the price others pay to give the west cheap goods.
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I think Taiwan has probably taken over from HK in this respect, but I didn’t have personal experience to draw upon from there. Thanks for dropping by.
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Superb.
Safe journey
Dee
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Thanks Dee. Safely home now.
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“fat-cats cruise in silver birds across a cerulean arc” Fantastic!
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I don’t like using the word ‘cerulean’ – it sounds overblown to me, but ‘azure’ didn’t hit the spot and ‘blue’ sounded a bit… well ordinary.
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Reminds me of the Triangle Factory fire. Unfortunately not all countries, even today follow safety protocols.
I did want to thank you for your photo the other week. But I guess while you were away you didn’t write on that piece? Travel safely.
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Hi Jules, thanks for reading. I did write on my own photo (Uncle Oscar’s Flight of Fantasy) just before I left. I’d find it hard to stay away from FF 🙂
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Sad and an after death story to boot!
Hope you enjoyed Spain,
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/04/18/friday-fictioneers-4192013-genre-sci-fi-pg/
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Some ghosts just won’t lie down and er… well .. be quiet. Spain was lovely, warmer than the UK where again this morning we’ve woken up to a thick icing of frost. Brrr!
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vivid description… loved it.. 🙂
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Thank you!
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Fantastically written, great imagery with a punch-in-the-gut twist at the end. This is one of my favourite yet, Sandra, and I always like your stories.
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Thank you Sandra, glad you enjoyed it.
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Sandra, wow! You never disappoint, not will you. Fantastically told and heck of an ending.
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Sorry, I meant ‘nor will you’. 😉
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Thanks Joanne. Enjoyed your double offering this week. Again. 🙂
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I like the circular aspect of this story–beginning and ending with the “paper thin walls.” In between is an incredibly visual depiction of the haves and the have-nots. Very well done.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/empty-nest-optimism/
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Thanks Maggie I’ll be over to yours shortly.
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Back to the dark side again this week, then! I loved this, some fantastic phrases in here – I particularly liked the ‘greasy grey sea’. Great stuff.
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How easily I drift back…. 😦 I remember looking out at the sea from a restaurant by the water’s edge and first thinking that the water looked greasy. It’s a description I’ve used several times since.
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Beautiful, Sandra. You inspire me. You weaved a complex, rich story here. I loved all your visually descriptive words.
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Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it and I’m flattered by your comment.
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Chilling and very well written
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Thank you! 🙂
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Very nice use of the prompt – a sad story but a sadder reality for many.
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So true Parul! Thanks for dropping by.
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The paper thin walls and the plight of these workers is going to stay with me for some time. A haunting tale, beautifully written.
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Thanks for reading Trudy.
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wow a really powerful story. so masterfully told.
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Thanks kz! 🙂
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The greasy gray sea I loved too. This story paints such a vivid picture of different lives and what the struggles are.
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Thanks Linda! 🙂
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Sandra – This is a wonderful piece. Beautifully written. I think of these sweatshop factories using child labor every time I purchase or order on-line a piece of clothing and see the tag…”Made in China” or “Made in Taiwan”…I cringe and often feel guilty wearing the item.
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I know what you mean Lora. Thanks for reading.
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Love your interpretation of the prompt and how you took the often overlooked aspect of the hive – the paper thin construction – and made it the central idea in your plot. Most of the rest of us focused on the bees…
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Thanks Jennie, I just saw hive and it all went from there. Glad you liked it.
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The story and the language is masterful. Very sad and poetic.. I really agree with all the positive acclaim above.
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Thanks Bjorn! 🙂
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Great story. You did a great job taking me somewhere I’ve never been.
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Thanks Monica! 🙂
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I love “the paper thin walls”, and the title.
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Wow, that was some great description, even if the ending was sad. I loved it.
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This is very powerful and has left me thinking.
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