A Little Persuasion (Trifecta Challenge, April 2013)

Eric Vondy / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

“Don’t disturb her,” whispered Parminder, “I’ve read about this, she’s in a state of ecstasy.”

“She’s in a state of inebriation,” I muttered, stepping over the swaying body of our flatmate.  “Oy, Shazzer, pull yourself together.”

Shazzer’s eyelids flicked open and I started nervously;  her eyes had rolled back in her head leaving only sightless bloodshot whites.

“Revolting,” I said, flopping down on the sofa.

Parminder began to edge towards the door.  Hell, I didn’t want leaving alone with Shazzer, even if this were just an act.  “Get your ass back here,” I hissed.

“Parminder,” wailed Shazzer from the mat on the floor.  Still in the lotus position, still swaying, she began to rub her thumb and forefingers together, making a papery rustling sound.  “Your grandmother is here for you.”

Parminder began to sob noisily.

“Oh bollocks,” I said, bending to pick up the upturned glass which had rolled from the Ouija board.  As my fingers touched the glass it leapt into the air and smashed against the wall.

Shazzer’s eyes snapped shut and then opened again.

“What the fuck’s going on?” she said, scrambling to her feet.

“Nice try Shazzer,” I drawled, though to be honest my heart was thumping against my ribs, “an oscar-winning performance.”

“Who broke that?” she asked, indicating the shards of glass on the carpet.

“Parminder’s grandmother,” I joked, “she’s seriously pissed off at something.”

There was a crash in the kitchen and we all grabbed at each other, before moving cautiously to the doorway.

The cleaning cupboard had been thrown open, and a dustpan and broom were floating towards us.  At the same time the tap above the sink turned itself on and four days of washing-up suddenly disappeared under mounds of foaming detergent whilst behind us the vacuum cleaner switched itself on and trundled towards us.

We screamed in unison.

Everything changed that day.  Up to that moment nothing would have persuaded us to clean that apartment on a regular basis.

Nothing on earth anyway. 

This week’s Trifecta challenge had to incorporate the word below, in the third definition.

a : a state of being beyond reason and self-control

b archaic : swoon

: a state of overwhelming emotion; especially : rapturous delight

Please remember: 

  • Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.
  • You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.
  • The word itself needs to be included in your response.
  • You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.
  • Only one entry per writer.
  • If your post doesn’t meet our requirements, please leave your link in the comments section, not in the linkz.
  • Trifecta is open to everyone. Please join us.

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in By the Way ..., Just Sayin' and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

42 Responses to A Little Persuasion (Trifecta Challenge, April 2013)

  1. billgncs says:

    good one, cleanliness and godliness eh 🙂


  2. that was priceless!


  3. Kir Piccini says:

    spooky ghost stories: I’m glad I’m in a well lit office because I scare easily.

    a grandmother with a desire for a neater house was the perfect background for this, everyone should have that kind of motivation. 😉


  4. Hilarious! For some reason I just found the ‘trundled’ very funny, great image. Always very good, and entertainimg here!


  5. The Real Cie says:

    Paraminder’s grandmother needs to high tail it over here and do some cleaning for me.


  6. and unearthly maid sounds like a good deal to me… let ‘er clean say I 🙂


  7. Linda Vernon says:

    Haha! Quite clever and entertaining!!


  8. Draug419 says:

    lmfao this is great xD I love it!


  9. jannatwrites says:

    The opening cracked me up, as did the ending. For some people, there really isn’t anything on this earth that will get them to clean 🙂


  10. camgal says:

    That was very amusing and skillfully written 🙂 I nominated you on my blog for an award, congrats http://camgal.wordpress.com/2013/04/23/first-four-awards-this-year/


  11. I bet every college dormitory, every parent, and every kid forced to clean his room, wishes to have a ghost grandmother.

    Thanks for linking up!


  12. KymmInBarcelona says:

    Hahaha That might last my house for about a week! Fun post, Sandra.


  13. “I’ve read about this, she’s in a state of ecstasy.”
    “She’s in a state of inebriation,” I muttered, stepping over the swaying body of our flatmate.

    Won over from that point onward. Great.


  14. steph says:

    I enjoyed this. What a clever idea – a ghost who cleans – I love it. So imaginative.


  15. ann bennett says:

    I’ve always heard not to play with a Quija board. Amusing and well-written.


  16. ramshanasir says:

    Haha this was so good! A grandmother ghost would be such a help when it comes to cleaning -no end of motivation! 😀


  17. Sandra says:

    My grandmother taught me all I needed to know about cleaning. She’d turn in her grave if she could see me now…


  18. Suzanne says:

    This is awesome Sandra! So creative and so much fun to read! Do you think Parminder’s grandmother could pay my kids a visit?


  19. Great use of the prompt! I certainly hope Parminder’s grandmother never pays me a visit. It would be very, very ugly….


  20. kdillmanjones says:

    This story had me glued to my screen from beginning to end. You pack so much into each character! Really great writing.


  21. Sandra says:

    Grams crossing back to clean the apartment…Hilarious!


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