Copyright Managua Gunn
Once again it’s time for Friday Fictioneers. I’d spent half an hour reflecting on the size and contours of this guard’s backside before I realised what I was seeing. Duh! 🙂
The worst thing, Sergeant Riley said, was when your mascara runs into your eyes.
Corporal Miller disagreed. It’s when you desperately need the bathroom, and there’s still an hour of your shift left.
Lieutenant Jones knew a woman who’d barfed at the very same moment that the Prime Minister’s car passed by, whilst Major Barton had once spent two hours with a wasp beneath her uniform.
But Trooper Amelia Randall knew they were all wrong.
The worst thing was watching the man whose bed you’d left only four hours earlier standing in the square, snogging the face off your sister.
castelsarrasin 
And here is another sad story! Guards seem to inspire them. Well-done !
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Thank you Hannah.
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ugh >< nothing worse than Trooper Randall's woes. i don't think it'd be possible for me to stand so still. great story 🙂
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She’s got plenty of time on her hands for revenge plotting.
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I did the same thing with the bum before saying out loud “That’s a woman?” Nice story. It must take all of Trooper Amelia’s willpower not to inflict immediate pain on the man.
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Funny isn’t it how innately gender-orientated we are. Thanks for reading.
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…Ouch. I hope these soldiers are paid well.
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So do I! Thanks for visiting.
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Oh, well done, Sandra. I love what for you doesn’t sound exotic, your British-ism: “snogging the face off your sister.” Although I’m very familiar with this from all my reading, I’d probably never think to use it.
janet
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It’s not a phrase I’d normally use either Janet, but sometimes for writers there are these ‘in the role’ moments that actors experience and the vocabulary just emerges. I’m always grateful when it happens. Thanks for dropping by. 🙂 PS I did check on Google to see that Americans were familiar with the word ‘snogging’. 🙂
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Love the ladies’ complaints–suspect some have plagued the gents as well. Personally, I think standing still for long periods would be enough torment for me.
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I couldn’t stand still either. It’s difficult for me to even walk slowly. Thanks for dropping by, vb.
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I laughed. Which is good.
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I can ask nothing more Paul. 😉
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Oh boy. That’s gotta be the worst thing for sure! I was nicely surprised at the end! 😀
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I think I’d rather see that than battle with my digestive system on duty. 🙂
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Pingback: Friday Fictioneers, 21 June 2013: Chameleon | One Starving Activist
As we say in America, “Ohhhhhh … SNAP!”
THAT … was … SUPERB! Sandra you ROCKED it BIG time!
Or as we also say in America, “Bases loaded, bottom of the ninth, tie score, full count, swing … HOME RUN!!!”
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That’s cricket you’re talking about, right? 😉 Thank you Kent.
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oops .. yes amazing we were on the same wavelength there.. you see a lot of things. but you are never seen
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Thanks for dropping by Bjorn. 🙂
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ah she has the means to settle with this felllow
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I wouldn’t be him for any price!
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Ooh, that’s similar to Bjorn’s offering! You were on the same wavelength! I suspect the penalties for leaving your post are too severe to give someone a bop on the nose! Loved this too.
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Thanks for reading Freya. 🙂
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Dear Sandra,
I’ll bet Amelia has plans for him when she’s off duty and they have nothing to do with snogging. Delightful story!
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. 🙂
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And to not cry…?? That is the worse.
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Difficult, hey?
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“snogging the face of her sister” has so much more value than “kissing her sister” It calls for greater retribution. Great use of your ration of 100 words, Sandra.
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Thanks Lynn. The Muse of the Vernacular was at my elbow today. 🙂 Thanks for reading.
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Well, that WOULD be the worst! Good job, Sandra.
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Thanks Jan! 🙂
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I can imagine all the female soldiers at night, swapping horror stories. Yeah, that would definitely be the worst of them, I think. She’d be tempted to use that gun of hers.
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More than likely, Dave. Loved yours this week.
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Just outstanding Sandra. Your written words, the tale, everything, I loved it! 🙂
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Thank you Penny! 🙂
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Poor trooper Amelia Randall. She probably never told the other guards, but was thinking this to herself. real twist. lovely
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Thanks for reading Nightlake. 🙂
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Snogging? Guess any snogging would be bad, especially that snogging!
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🙂 Thanks for dropping by Perry.
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I really like the word ‘Snogging’.
Btw, I was watching a short movie on the history and culture of France with my children when the film went on to show the houseboats. I told my children all about you at that moment. Now they want to move across the pond and relocate to a floating home.
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Children love boats don’t they? In fact, they love water, except when it’s accompanied by soap. Thanks for dropping by JK.
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Magic, darling. Well written and dryly surprising.
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Thank you Helena, and for the ping-back.
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Pingback: The Changing of the Guards – Friday Fictioneers | Being the Memoirs of Helena Hann-Basquiat, Dilettante.
Very good!
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Thanks!
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Brilliant last line! Totally unexpected 🙂
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Thank you Trudy.:)
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Ooh, I think somebody it going to get a spikey helmet up the patootie after she’s off duty. Things could get ugly. Brilliantly put together story!
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Thanks EagleAye. 🙂
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All the emotions you portrayed here were terrific.
But obviously the best of all was:
“The worst thing was watching the man whose bed you’d left only four hours earlier standing in the square, snogging the face off your sister.”
Great job. Randy
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Thanks Randy, glad you liked it.
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Brutal. Takes a lot of discipline to not leave your post to deal with that.
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True. Thanks for dropping by.
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well the last part was sad.. but the rest hilarious to read (if it were true it wudn’t be so funny though)
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Thanks Shreyank 🙂
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btw I just read Janet’s story before this… and I think Amelia will become the character of Janet’s story after this !
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Brilliant! Loved the ending – and the insight into the trials of the guard duty! Fabulous Flash!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Dear Sandra,
That’s what the rifle is for….
(Absolutely loved your take on the prompt. Delightful.)
Aloha,
Doug
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Thanks Doug, glad to see you around. 🙂
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I image those guards have plenty of horror stories to exchange when off duty. Snogging your girlfriends sister right in front of her shows a lack of brains and character. I’m sure she’ll get even with both of them. Great story, Sandra.
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Thanks Russell. 🙂
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I wondered if it were a woman, too. And, yep, it would be difficult to stand guard while watching the snogging. The gun and/or bayonet would be too tempting. 😉
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/the-unknown-soldier/
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Thanks Maggie!
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Well, Sandra, as usual, you made me look closer. I missed the obvious – just saw the soldier standing guard and your story snapped me to attention. I blame my phone’s small screen and working this while on the road. Lovely story, by the way. I hope he gets what’s due him.
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I almost missed it myself Erin, despite contemplating the physiology for so long. 🙂
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Great story. Hasn’t she got any bullets? No jury would convict her.
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🙂 Thanks for commenting Patrick.
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ha — think how long she had to plan revenge !!! Good one!
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All the time in the world. Thanks Bill 🙂
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She wins, hands down (Though the wasp would be quite the competitor),
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/06/20/friday-fictioneers-62113-romantic-fiction-pg13/
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I wouldn’t fancy that wasp’s chances Scott. Thanks for dropping by.
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Oh this is fantastic – so well crafted. I would love to read about the aftermath of Amelia’s discovery.
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Thanks Sarah Ann. It might not make pretty reading.
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Loved this Sandra well written. Had to smile at the ‘snogging the face of her sister’ not a phrase I’d expect from you, but so very right somehow. 🙂
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Vernacular can be so tempting sometimes… 🙂
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The bitch in me would leave my post and smack them both with the butt of my gun!
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My bitch is with your bitch on this. 🙂
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Bahhha! I knew it would be. 😉
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