Quick Possession (Friday Fictioneers, October 2013)

Copyright Al Forbes

Thanks once again to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting this week’s Friday Fictioneers.  Where would we be without you Rochelle?

I must confess that at first glance I saw the copyright image as part of the photograph, which inspired the following story.  Duh! 🙂

“I’m amazed it’s still available.”

The agent shifted uncomfortably.  “Not everyone likes these older houses…ring me when you’ve decided.”  He bolted, like a rabbit.

I was strangely drawn to the ugly old house, almost mesmerised.  The marbled eyes stared sightlessly as the skylight above the door shimmered, revealing my name frosted into the glass itself.  This was meant to be… surely.

I slept uneasily, before returning to the house for a final look.

Today it held no attraction for me; and the name in the glass was not mine.

I recognised it in horrific newspaper headlines some weeks later though.

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About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

92 Responses to Quick Possession (Friday Fictioneers, October 2013)

  1. You write some awesome creepy stories. This is my kind of thing! I love it.

    Like

  2. Ye Pirate says:

    Superb idea…so he/she is next on the list…

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  3. Poor Al, should we get him a bodyguard ? Surround him in bubble wrap ? Loved how your story incorporated the name !

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  4. sinosheila says:

    Loved this image and the story you wrote to go with it.

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  5. Dear Sandra,

    It’s always good to let big decisions percolate before signing those final papers. I don’t think I’d want that face over my front door either. Nice one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  6. Excellent tale, superbly crafted.
    Love it.

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  7. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Sandra,

    You have a fertile mind…or is that febrile? I love what you concoct out of the blue of a photo prompt. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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  8. Carmen says:

    Lucky one, she didn´t buy it – so you leave us with the question what happened in the house 🙂
    Liebe Grüße
    Carmen

    Like

  9. vbholmes says:

    Good development of your great take on the prompt, Sandra–but must say, I love your “pipped at the post” and “popped his clogs”. Colorful to say the least.

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    • Sandra says:

      Just my attempt to bring in a bit of English vernacular. I was going to mention ‘gazumped’ but I wasn’t sure whether that has crossed the great divide yet. Or indeed, whether it came from across the great divide… 🙂 Thanks for reading vb.

      Like

  10. mtdecker says:

    You are definitely not talking to yourself! This one did a lot with those 100 words. Very haunting.

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  11. kz says:

    omg, Al, be careful! lol this was very scary. and the idea of one’s name appearing on the house, Death-note style, so creepy..

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  12. Sandra says:

    Thanks for reading kz. 🙂

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  13. helenmidgley says:

    Oh, spooky, a chilling bit of fun, great job 🙂

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  14. misskzebra says:

    Very chilling and well written!

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  15. Another fabulous tale. Good thing the Real Estate Agent warned her to sleep on it!

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  16. I always look forward to your stories, Sandra, and this is why. You tell the most complete tales of anyone with just 100 words. Brilliant.
    I read a book once called “Lullaby” by Chuck Palahniuk which has a character who is a Real Estate Agent specialising in selling haunted properties…. this reminded me of that.

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  17. Linda Vernon says:

    I love the way mis-seeing something like that turns out the be the best inspiration! I just watched Rosemary’s Baby two nights ago. And your wonderful take on the photo reminds me of it.

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  18. hugmamma says:

    I usually love old houses. I’ll have to rethink my fascination after this, however. Great, as always.

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  19. mike olley says:

    Thanks for spooking me, Sandra, just as I’m looking to buy a house – I’ll make sure I check the windows first : )

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  20. Oooh, now I really want to know what the news story was! And what kind of real estate agent runs away when a client says they’re interested? Lots of mystery and intrigue here; leaves me wanting more! Well written and compelling.

    Like

  21. wmqcolby says:

    Oh, YES! This is what it’s all about! Something about the house being older reminded me of the older houses in Hollywood where the silent film stars used to live. Conjures up the old movie Sunset Boulevard with Gloria Swanson. Great work, Sandra! Thanks.

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  22. DCTdesigns says:

    Yowzer. Creepy old haunted houses are my favorites. Ever since I was a girl. Loved this.

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  23. Steve Lakey says:

    A lucky escape! Another top-drawer story, Sandra.

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  24. elmowrites says:

    Ooh, you’ve got me wondering all sorts of things here, Sandra. Nice creepy feel to this one!

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  25. Jan Brown says:

    Oh dear! A close call with a creepy house. And a less-than-forthcoming realtor, I think!

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    • Sandra says:

      Never trust a realtor. In surveys here in the UK the estate agent used to come top of the ‘love to hate’ list. But now they’ve been replaced by bankers. And footballers on my personal list…

      Like

  26. claireful says:

    A great idea, perfectly executed by your story-telling skills. And a lucky escape for the narrator.

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  27. atrm61 says:

    Always best to sleep on such decisions and see things clearly the next day;-)Loved the creepy twist at the end-amazing story telling Sandra-loved it:-)

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  28. rgayer55 says:

    Outstanding story. I love the creepiness and hint of dead bodies.

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  29. Sandra says:

    Thanks Russell. I’m partial to a dead body or two…in the nicest possible way.

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  30. Oh goodness… just my kind of creepy! Well done 🙂

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  31. Hi Sandra,
    This one has some dark tones, the idea that reality can shift and the future can be pre-cognitized. I’m amazed at the range of your writing ability. Ron

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  32. Wow, it beckoneth you! Well done Twilight Zone-type story.

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  33. Ah love it. the house that does dirty deeds. The name effect was capital

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  34. draliman says:

    Amazing, creepy story! Sounds like your protagonist had a very lucky escape.

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  35. Great story, Sandra. That head did look scary and you’ve made me realise why I felt so uncomfortable looking at him. You created an unsettling mood and the ending backed it up brilliantly.

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  36. Jolly good I shall say, not only the writing, that is a given with you, but the turnaround, enjoyed it!

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  37. plaridel says:

    so glad there was no buyer’s remorse.

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  38. Dee says:

    Excellent take on the prompt Sandra, enjoyed this.
    Dee

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  39. unspywriter says:

    If possible you made that picture even creepier. Shudder.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/sentinel/

    Like

  40. Adam Ickes says:

    Your misinterpretation of the photo led to an excellent story.

    Like

  41. sandraconner says:

    The main character experiencing such a chilling close call, but, in the end, escaping with her life: this is what makes great thriller fiction. And I’m glad you emphasized the eyes that stared sightlessly because that particular aspect of the bust was what really grabbed me and wouldn’t let go.

    Like

  42. CherryPickens says:

    Eerie and delightful, especially: “…as the skylight above the door shimmered, revealing my name frosted into the glass…” I love your delicate touch with this challenge.

    Like

  43. Oh, look what happened there, Sandra! That was brilliant. Funny, I saw his name in the glass, too, and for a second thought the same thing. What a unexpected twist at the end. Nice one!

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  44. I almost did the same… you did this excellently.. and I bought our house partly because my name is in the street name…(chills down my spine)

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  45. yarnspinnerr says:

    A lovely flash.

    🙂

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    • Sandra says:

      Hi yarnspinnerr, I just thought I’d let you know that I found two of your comments in my spam-box despite the fact that you’re a regular commenter. I hope WordPress isn’t kicking off again along this path.

      Like

  46. pattisj says:

    I think I would have run from that one!

    Like

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