Copyright Erin Leary
She’s scampered ahead, splashing in puddles, the pom-pom on her red bonnet bouncing wildly.
But when I round the bend after her… she’s gone.
Time stands still; the brook ceases babbling, its flow halted, and the birds fall silent.
“Jeanie” I scream.
And that great white orb in the sky brightens… aglow with delight… before gently pulsating away behind the swirling grey mist.
I snatch her bonnet, still warm, from the moss-covered fence as the brook bubbles back into life, and the meadowlarks resume their cheery chorus.
Only the blackened hawthorn boughs join me in shedding tears of despair.
Thank you Rochelle for facilitating my participation this week – much appreciated. I’ll get round to my fellow Friday Fictioneers, but possibly a bit later than usual this week – we’re pushing further south for a few days.
castelsarrasin 
Well done Sandra. Great descriptions. Enjoyed this one very much.
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Thank you Michael. 🙂
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Dear Sandra,
The contrast between the beauty of nature and the mother’s raw grief is stunning. Beautifully written as always.
Happy to accommodate. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle! 🙂
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Oh oh!
AnElephant is very concerned here.
Powerful writing.
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Thanks for reading AnElephant. 🙂
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Dear Sandra,
Another great story from one of my favorite FF authors. You make me believe. You capture the moment. You set the bar high.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thank you Doug, your comments are always appreciated. 🙂
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One of those awful moments every parent dreads. Beautifully descriptive.
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Thanks Claire 🙂
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The bonnet’s still warm, Sandra, I’m diving into that brook to save Jeanie! I liked how you stopped time – I’d be tempted to take out the clichéd “Time stands still” and just use the brilliant description to show it.
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You’re probably right Jennifer. Thanks for reading.
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This is brilliant Sandra. I was there on the pathway and shared the despair perfectly highlighted by your last line. Well done. (For some reason WP won’t let me ‘like’ anything these days, I voted instead!)
Dee
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Thanks Dee. I don’t know what’s with the Like button these days, it frequently doesn’t load on mine.
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Oh Sandra-so good to be back and read such powerful stuff!This made me want to cry while giving me the chills!I would have loved to have written this:-)Great piece and wish you and your’s a wonderful 2014,tc & God Bless:-)
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All the best to you too – hope you have a wonderful year.
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:-)Thank you Sandra
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The reality described here made me nauseous…and I don’t even have kids. Well done.
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Thank you. Hope you’re feeling better now!
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That damned Orb again, always up to mischief. Don’t worry, you’ll get her back again. Maybe pregnant, maybe zombified, but they always come back…
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You’re such a romantic Linda…
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You’ve set the bar quite high to start off FF this week. Reading your stuff always makes me second guess my own.
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Thanks Adam, glad you liked it. 🙂
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Excellent descriptions, Sandra. You created a vivid scene.
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Thanks Honie!
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Your words match this picture so well I feel I am in the story.
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Thanks Dawn, yes I did stick quite closely to the picture this week. Normally I’m a bit more tangential.
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As a mum, that was scary stuff, great atmosphere building 🙂
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Thanks Helen. 🙂
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Fantastic Sandra.Your imagery is excellent.
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Thanks Kim, glad you liked it.
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Beautifully written, Sandra, and there’s hope for all the optimists here as her bonnet is still warm. Well done.
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Thanks vb; hope allis well with you.
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Great stuff! You made an amazing contrast between the beauty and promise of the day and the horrific event which has occurred.
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Thank you! 🙂
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Beautiful and sad Sandra. What beautiful juxtaposition between the world moving on in joy around one stuck in mourning.
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Thanks Joseph. 🙂
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How saddening. The turn of events from activity to absolute stillness gave me chills. Great writing.
-HA
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Thank you!
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So sad. Everything stops for a tragedy, including the brook. Good story!
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Thank you Perry. 🙂
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Dear Sandra, Your story seems so real – excellent read! Really love it! Nan
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Thank you Nan. 🙂
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excellent and very atmospheric. i like how everything stood still for a while,then resumed,indifferent to her grief.loved this.
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Thanks kz, yes, time has the habit of moving on, regardless.
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Stunning piece, again, Sandra. The contrast between the red hat and the stark surroundings, the mother’s terror and grief… it’s just wonderful! Man, you manage to get your story in early every week! How do you do it!
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I had a bit of an advantage this week Dawn. 😉 Thanks for reading.
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This is a lovely but tragic story. Well done!
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Thanks Lisa. Glad you liked it.
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This one is deeply touching.. .I expect many sad one like this.. and example of mastership is to still be able to add details in this story (for example the hawthorn boughs)…
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Thanks Bjorn; I don’t normally stick so closely with the photo, but this week seemed to call for it.
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Wonderful descriptions of sound, sight and movement. Heart-grabbing!
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Thanks Jan, it was a great photo wasn’t it?
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The terror you evoke was very real. I felt my heart tighten in my chest as I read.
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Thank you Helena, hope you’ve recovered now. 🙂
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This is strong, very strong. I wasn’t expecting that at all. (Very pleased that I changed the title of mine from ‘Taken’ as well!).
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Thanks Freya; 🙂
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O.M.G. This story should come with a health warning. Well written.
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Thank you Liz! 🙂
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Oh my…a parent’s worst fear. Nicely wrought in 100 words…
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This was a stunning photo Erin, really good.
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Time stood still…I bet it does indeed. So frightening and real the way you told it and captured it, down to the warm bonnet. Brilliant, Sandra.
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Thanks Amy, glad you liked it. 🙂
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A mother’s worst nightmare. Well done, as usual.
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Isn’t it just… Thank you.
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The pleasure’s all mine, Sandra.
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The pleasure’s all mine, Sandra.
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Wow – you just never fail to deliver, Sandra. Fantastic. 🙂 (Or should it be 😦 lol)
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Thanks Joanna, glad you liked it.
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A tragic tale, so well written Sandra.
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Thanks Mike. :0
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Hi Sandra,
Numero uno, how are you inspired so quickly? I guess you do have the advantage of an earlier time zone, but you’re not the only one with that going for you. This story is so true to the photo, right down to those drops hanging off the branches. The loss of the girl is heartbreaking. Ron
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I can’t claim any credit here Ron; I asked Rochelle for the prompt early as I was going to be on the road for three days with no guarantee of getting a reliable internet connection. So I had an afternoon to think/write, and just had to put the links in and upload Wed morning before we left the hotel. Thanks for reading. 🙂
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That’s a tough one to read. Great imagery. Great portrayal of grief.
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Thank you Patrick. 🙂
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Wow. What a strong piece! Great descriptions here – you really captured the mother’s grief and all the little details that really draw us in – the warm bonnet especially.
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Thank you! 🙂 I enjoyed yours.
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You’re welcome. 🙂 I’m glad.
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You’ve infused this with just the right amount of terror and speculation. Great job.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/grasping-for-straws/
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Thanks Maggie, glad you liked it.
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Sandra, I do like how you used the environment. It’s also a layering of time: it’s in the present, yet it is also a description of the things we remember of a scene after some terrible event. Great psychological mood to this. Ann
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Thanks Ann, I don’t often stick to the photo prompt. Hope all is well with you.
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Yes, the year is off to a good start. 🙂
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So much emotion! You know how to tell a tale.
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Thanks Jackie! 🙂
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Chilling…in an instant your life can change forever. Excellent use of those few words…I enjoyed your story very much.
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Thank you!
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I’m gonna get scolded I fear but … although I entirely agree with the comments above as far as descriptive powers and emotional empathy, I just don’t get the switch from what I supposed is a past event to now? I read five times and missed it possibly. In the next to last sentence especially, maybe ( … and ) instead of ( as ) the brook comes back to life would have helped me?
Alternatively, if it is all in the present and “as it happens” then my problem is based on real life and simply stems from dissociating from the mom’s reaction: I would have moved, fast!
In any case, still worth nothing that the story is powerful and touching despite my finding it unbelievable! That’s writing talent,Sandra! Tay.
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It’s all in the present tense Taygibay and I note that you believe you would react differently. I suppose we all write from personal experience. I once came perilously close to losing something very dear to me. At the precise moment I discovered the loss there were absolutely no indications, no clues (visual or auditory) as to what had happened. It was as though they’d been spirited away and there was one stunned moment when everything seemed to stand still. To ‘move fast’ might have taken me in the wrong direction, further away from recovering the situation, not that I was capable of doing that anyway, as I was still trying to make sense of the scenario. I do remember, however, the incredible sense of despair. In the story there are several possibilities, though I think most have assumed the child drowned. She may have drowned, she may have been taken by someone, or even (and the mother’s disordered mind may contemplate this) have been spirited away by the ‘great white orb’ which is glowing in delight at its trawl. I left that open to the reader.
Thanks for dropping by and commenting. 🙂
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Ah! That clears things up then, Sandra.
I had envisioned all the possibilities you mentioned and a couple more actually, even though spirit(s) are not a personal first belief option.. And, I also understand the reaction that you described for having witnessed it time and time again, even though I never experienced it myself. I am a highly reactive individual and worked in many fields that ask for that condition. I saved lives in mine so far and recovered many similar situations to the one described.
It is therefore for the two reasons above that I didn’t understand the action? Just as I had surmised, the writing is then flawless; it is only a matter of my being in disbelief to the subject, no mistakes on your part, Tay. 😀
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horrible event but a terrific, well laid out story, Sandra. thanks.
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Thank you! 🙂
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Like Linda, I blamed it on the nasty orb. An abduction. Very descriptive and powerful writing. I felt I was right there, sharing the mother’s anguish.
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Any mother can understand the angst here. Nicely done, enjoy your trip south!
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Very scenic and descriptive prose. I like it.
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