Copyright Bjorn Rudberg
The girl huddles in the outhouse, humming softly. Her tormentor lies across the doorway, a line of dried blood snaking from his ear.
Behind him, she’s watched the world turn for days. Clouds have passed, birds fluttered by and insects buzzed lazily, drawn by the corpse before her.
The bread and cheese he’d brought that day is almost gone, the water-pail empty.
Cowbells tinkle in the valley; a tractor roars. Help could be close…or possibly something even more sinister.
Wearily she steps over her jailer, and stumbles towards his cottage to find food. Then she’ll decide.
But she never does.
Friday Fictioneers meets on Wednesday, why wouldn’t it? Last week there were over a hundred of us, so why not join us. Thanks once again to Rochelle – hope you’re bearing up under this increased traffic. 🙂
castelsarrasin 
Dear Sandra,
The stench had to have been intense by then. I found myself gasping for fresh air when she made it out of the outhouse. It looks like she found something other than help in the end. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle! 🙂
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Ooh,chilling!Love this Sandra-you created the perfect atmosphere! 🙂 Am dying to know more- why is she unable to decide-has she lost her mind after going through so much?
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I certainly think she’s traumatised. Thanks for commenting.
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🙂
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I like the way you leave it open and the reader guessing.
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Thank you!
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Such a fantastic story, so many questions unanswered, and then you toss in that last line to leave us hanging. Wonderful
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Thanks Claire, glad you liked it.
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Great story, Sandra, with lots of questions like: how’d she do him in? why’d she stay with the corpse? and, of course, why couldn’t she decide? I suspect we’ll all call for more. A success.
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Thanks vb. This is an idea I’ve toyed with before but I’m not sure which way to develop it.
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How could you do that to me? You drew me into your amazing world then just left me hanging like that!
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Thanks Adam! 🙂
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The end made the storing going from chilling to devastating… and i have no clue what really happened there.
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I’m not much wiser myself Bjorn! 🙂
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Sandra, I was excited to see 110 under the linky when I looked at last weeks FF entry. I had not realized the response had rebounded so sharply, but am sure it is due to great entries such as this one from you. What a horrid experience for your MC.
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Thanks Joe, yes it was a bumper week last week.
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Oh that was dark, really left you wondering what happened next 🙂
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Open ended I like. 🙂
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This is a haunting story. I like the way you tell us she’s been there for some time. The world turns for days. Good story.
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Thanks Kim 🙂
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Horribly chilling at the end. I can easily imagine you as a film director, getting that scene oh so exactly right.superb wordsmithery.
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I’d be a real pain in the ass I guess. 🙂 Thanks for commenting.
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So many questions, Sandra. I’m with Mr Ickes, how could you do this to us?
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Sorry about that Jennifer. 🙂
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omg this was sooo sooo good. the psychological horror of it all, and the sadness… yet i can easily see how difficult it is to truly break free from that cocoon.
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I think it might be possible to become traumatised into inertia. Thanks for dropping by kz.
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I really liked this, but at the same time, I’m frustrated that there isn’t more, which is, arguably, the point of good flash fiction. Well done.
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Thanks Etienne, appreciate that.
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Stunning Sandra. Confoundedly open-ended stunning.
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Thanks Troy, good to see you’re in this week. 🙂
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My first question was why she waited so long to escape. I’m thinking you answered it with the last question, why she doesn’t decide.
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Thanks for commenting Dawn. 🙂
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Great story. Hopefully she can make a life for herself in the cottage, even if it will be a lonely one.
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A life alone is better than a life in fear I guess. Thanks for reading.
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This was scary. Truly sinister. Good for the girl if she escaped but then…..did she really? Amazing open end, so many questions…I’m dying to know what happened next!
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So am I, I really must try to develop this one – it’s been a work in progress for far too long.
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Excellent Sandra the last sentence made me draw in a breath. Enjoyed it very much.
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Thank you Michael, I’m glad you liked it.
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Poor thing. She’s managed the first bit but is still imprisoned. Great piece of flash fiction.
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Thanks Patrick!:)
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You played both sides of this perfectly, Sandra. Fiendishly well-written. I think therapy, if indeed she ever gets away, will be ongoing.
janet
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Thank you Janet, glad you’re back home safely.
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Very cruel. No happy endings in your story. But beautifully told. We were hopeful right to the end. Sad, too. A gamut of feelings raised, possibilities discussed, hopes dashed, all in 100 words.
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Happy endings never in abundance around here Linda! 🙂
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This is intense…and just so superb !
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Thank you Lala. 🙂
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Well done! I like that we aren’t sure what she came to, I like the sinister feel. Very nicely done!
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Thank you, glad it worked for you. 🙂
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I might have left that last sentence out, as this is so incredibly powerful with or without it. That sentence left me a little confused, why she doesn’t decide… though the trauma and horror are enough. The sense of that small place, with the food her abuser brought. This is charged with horror and pain. Wow, Sandra!
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It’s interesting the way different people see things. For me, the last sentence was key to the story. She’d been transfixed for days, then made a move when hunger drove her, but is unable to muster the courage to do anything more. Now that she has food and water, the cocoon is once again complete. Without the last sentence, the reader may believe that she had overcome her fears and move onwards. But I appreciate your input – it’s always interesting to see how others would have done things.
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I felt as though I were she, trying to decide what to do. Well done!
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why the rush? now that he was gone, she can take her own sweet time.
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Eeeewwwww! 😀
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Oh dear, not a happy ending…but then, I didn’t really expect one 😉
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Nice little cliff-hanger
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I’m glad she was able to overpower her tormentor.
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Ooh, a sinister little tale, Sandra. Brilliant!
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Oh, you tease. We don’t know how she did in her tormentor nor what awaits beyond the outhouse door. Wonderfully written. You left me craving more.
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Excellent Sandra, she is brave and survived. I would like to know what she did to the creep that captured her. Write a sequel – please 🙂 Thanks, Nan
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Sinister. Great atmosphere you set up here. I had no trouble picturing the horrible scene. Poor girl.
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So perfectly dark and sinister for this prompt. I could feel the thick stench in the air and the flies buzzing. Well done, Sandra!
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I was completely drawn into the story. What an ending! Thanks, Sandra.
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Very chilling! Thanks for the comment on mine.
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Ohhh, Sandra! Very atmospheric and suspenseful. You got me in the moment right there. makes me want to hear the rest, too. Happy (belated) New Year, by the way.
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That was a great story and a very tantalising ending.
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Sandra, it´s great how you tell a story between the lines. The “movie-in-my-head” starts immediately when I read it! Great!
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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