copyright Dawn Miller
The blue wax undulated lasciviously inside the lamp-base, shifting through periwinkle and prussian before climaxing in indigo.
“Gross!”
“Nonsense Arthur, it’s relaxing.”
She was right. Observing the lamp, he’d slip into a deep slumber, punctuated only by the thunderous snoring that had driven her from his bed.
The wax would agitate rhythmically with his snores, until one night, gathering momentum, it eased the steel cap from the lamp, and pulsated down the table-leg before slithering quietly towards the bed.
Next morning Arthur’s wife discovered he’d turned the most perfect shade of oxford blue. He wouldn’t have liked that… he was always a cambridge man.
For my American friends at Friday Fictioneers, you can substitute Yale and UCLA for Oxford and Cambridge. 🙂
castelsarrasin 
Dear Sandra,
You are a lunatic, and not the ‘once in a blue moon’ kind. I’m glad your light is in the world.
Aloha,
Doug
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Ah – crazy is as crazy does… glad you’re around to read this week. Missing your input but it’s all in a good cause. 😉
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Dear Sandra,
Now there’s some imagery going on here and a last line that nearly sent hot coffee out my nose. All the makings of a great story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ooops, you need to watch that hot coffee/nose routine. Not good for the keyboard either. Thanks for commenting Rochelle. 🙂
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Great story Sandra ending with a great insult to any Cambridge man…well done…
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Thanks Michael, glad you liked it. 🙂
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A very funny story and well written. I don’t think I’ll buy any lamps in future with wax circulaitng in them.
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I always found them really creepy-looking. I won’t be buying any either.
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Love the touch of humor
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Thank you!
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Funny and creepy story Sandra. Enjoyed.
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Thanks Indira, glad you liked it.
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The lava lamp that ate London? Theater of the absurd, horror edition. Good job.
janet
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I decided to go lighter this week. I had a dark one too, but it can wait for another time.
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Light (so to speak) is good every so often. 🙂
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Too funny, Sandra. I got a good chuckle from the punchline.
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Thanks Adam! 🙂
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Well written but really creepy!
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Creepy is good… 😉
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Sandra, this is so wonderfully insane, I love every word of it. I’m sure there are some people whose snores would incite lava lamps to kill them (if my wife says I’m one of them, she’s lying ).
-David
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Yes, I felt a little crazy this morning… I think this lava lamp may have pre-empted the wife’s response to his snoring.
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no sandra, noooo… i have a lava lamp. and a blue one too. now i’ll never look at it the same way again! this was creepy and funny at the same time. and very strong imagery too.
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Oh No! I hadn’t seen one in years but all of a sudden they seem to be coming back into fashion. Fascinating things… 🙂
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i’ve had them since 1999, i think. then last year, i took one from the attic and used it a nightlight 🙂
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I really enjoyed the imagery and the punch line was very humorous. Lovely story-telling!
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Thanks Deanna!
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Ha ha, that was a killer punch line, 😉
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Glad you liked it Helen. 🙂
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This was hilarious! Who knew that lava lamps were inhabited by sentient and malevolent wax?
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There’s menace everywhere you look these days… 😉
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Wow! This is great and that last sentence cracked me up.
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Thanks! 🙂
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Easy way to make one disappear. Lava lamp snafu. Good chuckle this afternoon compliments of you Sandra.
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Glad it made you laugh Kim!
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Would I be ghoulish because I laughed? haha! I loved this one Sandra.
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Ghoul away Jackie, there’s plenty of fodder on my site. 🙂
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The best horror story! No blood and guts…just plain, old-fashioned creepy fantasy. Love it!
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Thank you! I don’t ‘do’ entrails – bit of a wuss like that. 🙂 Glad you liked it.
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Ha! This was a lovely creepy, funny story. I loved it!
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Thanks Glynis, glad you liked it.
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I loved this not just because my favorite color is (almost any shade) of blue. 🙂
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I favour periwinkle myself, or cornflower… Thanks for reading.
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That was grisly. That’s the last undulating lamp I ever buy!
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Look on this as a government health warning site Perry…. 😉
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Love me some lava lamps! This was very clever– not just the pun, but the whole concept of a lava lamp coming to life. I’ve often watched them and imagined they are alive. Bravo!
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They are fascinating to watch, but I’m not sure I’d want one in my home… Thanks for reading.
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For years I wanted one… now, it would have to be a really cool one, for me to own one. However, having read your story, I’d give the whole thing a 2nd thought now! 😉
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Fantastic twist on the promp!
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Thank you Riya! 🙂
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Love, love, love this! Perfect balance of fantastical and creepy. Of course he would have loved it, as I do.
Cheers!
Marie Gail
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I hope so Marie Gail, but …. Thanks for dropping by.
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Death by lava lamp. I’ll have a whole new view of them now. Nicely done!
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Give me chocolate any time. Thanks for reading.
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Yum, chocolate. I enjoyed it.
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Sandra the punchline was perfect. I’m glad after reading this that lava lamps are out of fashion. Now that I know they can attack like a killer blob.
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Thank you! Sorry to have put you off lava lamps for life… 😉
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Ha.. Love the joke at the end.. I have always been suspicious on lava blobs.
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Me too! Thanks for dropping by Bjorn.
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What a wonderfully surreal story. I loved it.
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Thanks Claire! 🙂
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That was absolutely fantastic. Plus, as a one-time Oxbridge reject, it gives me a morally questionable glow of shadenfreude.
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Never question schadenfreude… it takes all the fun away. 😉 Thanks for dropping by Etienne.
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Sandra, I love it! Lava lamps – creepy, scary good! And, the reference to the Oxford Blue – so absolutely clever! You are so witty! Thanks!
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Thank you Nan! 🙂
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Wonderful story. I loved all the colours you described, and that great last line – priceless!
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Thank you! I didn’t even know there was an UCLA blue and a Yale blue till I researched it.
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You paint such a vibrant image with only a few words!
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Thank you!
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Ooh, it slithered. Nice.
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I’n a sucker for a slither…
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Hi Sandra,
This one is really out there. Soon to be a major Hollywood movie? This wouldn’t be the first husband killed for snoring. Ron
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Thank you Ron! Don’t get me started on snoring…. 😉 This isn’t the first piece where a snoring husband has been offed. Sometimes I don’t know where I get my inspiration from.
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I loved the first sentence! Definitely not where I expected the story to go. Great job!
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Thank you!
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Good one!
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Thanks Ted!
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All I said was, “What? Bwahahaha.” You’re full of surprises, Sandra.
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Thanks Honie, I try… 😉
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Got quite the good chuckle from that. I’ll never look at a lava lamp the same way again! 😉
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/innocent-bystander/
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Thanks Maggie!
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A very unique take on the prompt. Well done.
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Thank you 🙂
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Damn, I wish I had wrote that! I loved the “climaxing in indigo” line. Even though there was a death in the family, it still left me happy instead of feeling blue.
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Thanks Roger! I’m not sure the wife was too bothered… 🙂
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I loved this on every level. Plus I feel quite relaxed. I think you have hypnotized me. Great ending Sandra! 😀
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Thanks Linda 🙂
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great story. i just don’t know whether i should laugh or cry.
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Laughing burns more calories. I’d go for that… 🙂
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Whenever I read one of your stories, Sandra, I wish I could have wrote it! You do this so well. I love the creepy, blue slithering at the end. Genius!
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What a lovely thing to say! Thank you Amy.
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With all due respect Sandra…..you a have a crazy imagination! He says with envy.
DJ
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Crazy is good. Lunatic is better but I’m getting there. Thanks for reading Danny.
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Nicely done. I’ll avoid those lamps from now on.
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You’d better! particularly if you snore.
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Oxford blue ftw! 😀
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🙂 I had to google ‘ftw’, I thought for a moment you were dyslexic. 😉 I also found that its historic meaning was something quite different to ‘an internet cheer’. It was once used by anarchists and similar rebels and meant ‘f*** the world’. There, you learn something new every day. Thanks for dropping by, I’ve just been to yours.
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It’s also text speak for ‘For the Win’. (I live in Oxford, as you can now tell.) Why am I not surprised it has anarchic roots?
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Very creepy and scary with a hilarious ending Sandra-just love your style 🙂
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Thank you!
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🙂
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What a way to go! Lovely ending, even for a Cambridge guy.
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Way to go! 🙂
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Haha that did get me laughing 🙂 nice take on the prompt.
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Pleased I could make you laugh. And you a Cambridge girl!
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A Cambridge girl? Not at all. 🙂
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That was really cute. Never would have thought of that idea. Such a clever take on this prompt.
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Thank you Shirley. It seems a while since I saw you on here, or have I just missed you?
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Gave me goosebumps this 😀
Loved it!
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🙂 Thanks for reading.
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Ha ha, I almost spewed my lunch on my monitor.
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Near miss then! Thanks for dropping by. 🙂
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Fantastic little story, I absolutely loved it. Your writing is always so classy. 🙂
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Thank you! 🙂
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Love this. My mind is full of the sight of seeping, creeping wax now.
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Ah, a little of the dark side; I love that in a woman!
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I had a lava lamp once, but I don’t think it ever turned prussian. Wait, what color is that, anyway?!
Haha nice story, Sandra!
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