See No Evil (Friday Fictioneers)

Copyright Danny Bowman

The glimmer on the hilltop gives his position away.

Kara sighs; the fool is watching, always watching, and once again her ritual goes unfinished, leaving her dangerously exposed.

Already a hunger claws at her soul, an insidious yearning stalks her every waking moment.  Soon she will be powerless to resist…

The falcon by her side cocks his head, seeking permission.

“No…” But she hesitates, and the bird takes to the skies, talons outstretched.

Later, as vultures circle the hilltop she recommences purification.

The eyes in a jar on the table see nothing.

“Just a minor transgression,” she murmurs, folding her hands in prayer.

 

It’s that time of the week again – Friday Fictioneers all over the world are flexing their imaginations, consulting their muses, tapping at keyboards. Thanks once again to Rochelle, our gracious hostess. 

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

77 Responses to See No Evil (Friday Fictioneers)

  1. I enjoyed your story very much. It was very powerful and full of atmosphere :-).

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  2. Wow, this photo is drawing people away from their usual! If taking someone’s eyes is a minor transgression, preserve me from the large ones!!

    janet

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  3. Dear Sandra,
    The image of the eyes in the jar will stay with me. Creepy, chilling and well done.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

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  4. Adam Ickes says:

    It’s his fault own really. He shouldn’t have been watching her like that.

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  5. Dee says:

    Great imagery, though I think I could do without thoughts of eyes in jars!
    Dee

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  6. Folding her hands in prayer. Aaaahhh religion.

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  7. erinleary says:

    Love this snippet of what needs to be a much longer tale. Tell me more!

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  8. Hala J. says:

    This made me grin from ear to ear. I love twisted endings—something I’ve said before, I’m sure. “Minor transgression” indeed. At least that’s one less “watcher” she has to worry about!

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  9. I picture a creepy old crone; like one of the three sisters from MacBeth, or a witch from a Neil Gaiman story. I had to read this through about three times to really let it sink in. Very well done, darling.

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  10. You’re the best at creepiness. I knew this was heading to a dark place. Nice touch with the eyes.

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  11. Bryan Ens says:

    Oops!…well…she really couldn’t control what her falcon did once he left her hand, could he?

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  12. K.Z. says:

    this really creeped me out. the idea of a vulture or any bird plucking my eyes off is extremely horrifying!

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  13. paulmclem says:

    This is the sort of weirdness which I can relate to. Nice one, Sandra. I like it when you do weird.

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  14. helenmidgley says:

    Oh deliciously dark

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  15. Jan Brown says:

    An amazing story, even in comparison to your usually outstanding fare. To say well done would not be enough. Truly amazing.

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  16. Well done though disturbing. Sounds like a Steven King type of situation. Something I wouldn’t want to read before bedtime.

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  17. claireful says:

    I’m very pleased with myself – I got The Fool on the Hill reference too. ‘The eyes in a jar on the table see nothing’ is the perfect line.

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  18. Sorchia D says:

    Yikes. Remind me not to tick her off–no peeping from the hill for me. My eyeballs will stay right where they are, thank you. Wonderful post!

    Like

  19. vbholmes says:

    Why do I feel the falcon has done this before? Like the way you play her cool acceptance of the man’s mutilation off her devotion to her self-purification. Diabolical, Sandra.

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  20. Every week: You. Blow. Me. Away! Such a multilayered story here, Sandra!

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  21. M. R. says:

    Nice one, Sandra! – lots left for the reader to fill in, and I love that!

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  22. Great story. I like how matter of fact she is about it all. I guess he should have known better than to spy on her.

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  23. plaridel says:

    reading your story is like watching a movie. the senses become engaged. in 3-d at that.

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  24. draliman says:

    Creepy. Sounds like she just wants to be left alone to deal with her own demons, but when temptation rears its head…

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  25. atrm61 says:

    Minor transgression!Indeed!Lol!Loved this Sandra-you know I love such wicked,dark ,murderous tales and I also loved the rich imagery you used in the opening para-excellent!:-)

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  26. Your story is wonderfully thought-provoking, Sandra. She’s such an intriguing character. I’d love to see the details of the purification ritual – even though I think I’ll be very sorry I asked.

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  27. Horus says:

    creepy spy ending on table giving creepy feeling ! 🙂

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  28. Well, something needed doing. Great piece.

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  29. subrotop says:

    The eyes have it. This was fantastic. Also coincidentally I read this piece today – which you may like – http://onebigdoodle.wordpress.com/2014/02/26/macabre-micro-eyes-1/

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  30. Hi Sandra,
    I guess she caught his eye, and then she caught both of his. I think after such a violent act, she really needs that ritual cleansing and maybe some soap and water too. Ron

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  31. Liz Young says:

    I guess the watcher got what was coming. Strong story.

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  32. Anything that means picking at my eyes kreeps me out.. and creeping kz out that’s a true feat.

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  33. elmowrites says:

    oooh, there’s a lot going on here, Sandra. I’m wondering so many things, but mainly I’m just picturing those eyes, still watching but now sightless. A minor transgression indeed.

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  34. DCTdesigns says:

    What a clever witch. I love that she plucked his eyes. Problem solved. She can now commence skyclad.

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  35. JudahFirst says:

    Such a full story in so few words! Loved it.

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  36. hugmamma says:

    A tale of witch craft for sure…

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  37. R. E. Hunter says:

    Ooh, don’t mess with her routine! Nice one.

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  38. JackieP says:

    I always thought owning a falcon would be so great! Now I know it would! Great story. 🙂

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  39. pattisj says:

    The eyes in the jar–you really got me with that one, Sandra! Very nicely done.

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  40. Eek! And so goes the peeping Tom.

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  41. rgayer55 says:

    well, that’s one way to keep an eye on her. I’m sure whatever diety she’s praying to will gladly forgive such a minor transgression.

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  42. Amy Reese says:

    Eyeballs in a jar. Yikes! And the circling vultures and outstretched talons. Great imagery in this, Sandra! Great story. As always, you inspire me.

    Like

  43. storydivamg says:

    I guess he didn’t see that coming, huh? Nice.

    MG

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  44. Bastet says:

    Wow…peeping toms be warned! Great story Sandra, loved it!

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  45. So dark! I want to know more!

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  46. Sarah Ann says:

    I like this. There is so much more to learn about Kara and her world. What other trophies has she got on her shelves? On second thoughts, maybe I don’t want to know.

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  47. Sun says:

    delicious dark tale that makes me wonder how will those eyes be used for another story… 🙂

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  48. Nan Falkner says:

    What is the shelf life of eyes in a jar? Is their an expiration date? You are a master of the creepy Sandra, and I mean this very much as a compliment. You are such a good writer – I wish I had your ability. You are awesome! Thanks! Nan

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

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