Copyright Adam Ickes
“Can you hear me?”
Momentarily she stirs.
I curl myself around her, chin on her shoulder.
“Can you feel me?”
She rubs her cheek into the pillow.
“Will you miss me?”
A soft moan, the barest whimper.
“Say you’ll remember me.”
Her eyelids fly open, body tense as she stares into the darkness.
The bedside phone is ringing, urgently shrill with news that will change her world, and that of many others. Yawning, she picks it up and listens.
Her hand covers her mouth, and helplessly I watch the silent scream form.
“I won’t be far away, love,” I whisper, unheard.
I’m not comfortable with sentiment, so I guess I’m in for an uncomfortable day here. 😦 Friday Fictioneers kicks off again today with a photo from Adam Ickes, under the guiding hands of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Why not join us? Anybody having trouble linking up with WordPress might try changing their browser. Firefox kept telling me the site was busy, but changing to Chrome did the trick.
castelsarrasin 
Dear Sandra,
How you come up with such an amazing story so quickly is beyond me. Breathtaking. Love the POV.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. I’ve had the situation in KL/Bejing on my mind all week, so the idea was already lurking.
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Just lovely. Simple, surprising and really really sad. I believe things like this actually happen after death and you’ve captured it perfectly.
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Thanks Jessie, glad you liked it.
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Gave me goosebumps…
Was too good that I read twice!
Well narrated!
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Thank you!
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Sandra, this is beautifully written and superbly structured: the loving mood, the slow realization of what’s happening, the last line which confirms it. Wonderful!
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Thanks Karen, I was a bit uneasy about this one.
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I think it’s one of your best, Sandra. It’s funny how it’s often the ones we’re most anxious about that get the best response.
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:,(
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🙂
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This is a really sad but beautiful story, Sandra. I could picture it. I read it a second time also for full appreciation.
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Thank you Patricia, so pleased you liked it.
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Sandra, this is especially timely as people search for the missing jet, but it could be any time a disaster strikes. Wonderfully done. As for sentiment, we all have it; live with it. 🙂
janet
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They do say that as a writer you should make a point of writing in a genre/style that makes you feel uncomfortable. Next week I shall probably try erotica… or better still, dialogue laced with exclamation and questions marks… 😉
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Sandra,
this is so tragic and poignant at the same time, no less because of his inability to communicate with her. Wonderful story.
-David
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Thanks David, glad you liked it.
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Very sad, but also very good.
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Great photo Adam – lots of scope there.
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A really sad and poignant tale. Loved it Sandra – well done
Dee
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Oh Sandra, this is one of your best. Wonderful writing. It really gave me goosebumps and I had to / wanted to read it several times.
Claire
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Thanks Claire, I appreciate your comments. 🙂
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Wow. Like this. Had to read it a couple of times before the penny dropped, but it was worth it. Excellent atmosphere and story telling here, Sandra. Kudos!
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Thanks Paul, bit of a departure for me. 😉
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As you can see, you’re far from talking to yourself. I was delighted with this short piece of writing, Sandra – I doubt any critic (qualified to be so!) could find anything to nadge about within it. It’s a gem of a little thing, and you should be proud.
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Thank you M.R. I appreciate your comments. And ‘nadge’ … such a lovely word which I’m adding to my vocabulary as we speak… 🙂
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Always here to widen the horizons. [grin]
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Sandra, this was mournful yet sweet and very beautifully written. I used to wonder what would happen after I die, whether I’ll have the chance to linger for a while and visit my loved ones just before I leave…
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Thanks Kz. I guess none of us will ever know…
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Beautiful, Sandra. Just beautiful
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Thanks Jan.
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Very subtle. I like it.
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Thank you!
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How a phonecall can change a life.. so well described..
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Thank you Bjorn. 🙂
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Wow! This was so sad but also very moving. I read it over and then I got goose bumps.
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Hope I didn’t spook you too much Sarah
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It didn’t spook me. It is a beautiful story. The words have a kind of reassuring and powerful way of staying with the reader. 🙂
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Sandra, what a beautiful story. I’m shuddering inside as you’ve plumped right into a deep-held fear – not that we cross over, but that we cross over without saying goodbye. Great POV, great way of telling it. This could apply to so many situations in the world, past and present (sadly, future too).
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Thanks Jen, yes it’s a bit topical at the moment too, which prompted the thought for this piece.
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This is such a clever piece Sandra, I love the way the take is wound round, the sense of death clear to me. Funny how this photo has promoted a few responses such as this including my own.
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Thanks Michael, the photo seems to have brought out many different slants to stories.
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Yes and so interesting each one.
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This brought a tear to my eye.
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Thank you for reading Dawn.
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Strange how a photo brings such different… and similar… stories to mind. 😉 This is hauntingly beautiful, Sandra. I’m with Rochellle; how amazing that you wrote this so quickly!
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As I said to Rochelle, the events this week have been preying on my mind, so it came through pretty quickly, even for me!
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It might have made you uncomfortable, but obviously it, did you good as the story is great. The emotions are high, sadder about the departed and the emotion after the phone call. Wonderfully done Sandra.
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Thank you Jackie. I promise to head in a different direction next week. 🙂
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Oh so good – this one snuck up on me, but I love that. It was subtle and moving. Beautifully done.
Erin
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Thanks Erin, glad you liked it.
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Hi Sandra,
You pulled a dramatic story straight from the headlines, as they say. You must have some sentimentality in you to write this. I agree with Rochelle. I’m always amazed at the speed of your inspiration. I had to think about it most of a day to come up with my drabble. Ron
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Thanks Ron. I keep any sentimentality I might have well buried – I’m not a pretty sight when I’ve been crying. Re the speed of response – if I don’t get the inspiration within half an hour of seeing the prompt I know I’m going to struggle. And if it’s not there within a couple of hours whatever, if anything, emerges is usually quite ‘forced’ in my opinion.
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good until the last drop… er, line.
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Thank you! 🙂
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So well conceived and executed, Sandra–very moving story well told.
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Thank you VB.
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Reminds me of Ghost
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Didn’t see that, but saw Truly, Madly, Deeply … howled buckets. 😦
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Sad but very beautiful, and exquisitely told
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Thank you Siobhan. 🙂
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Very interesting and touching story. And no Beatles! Thanks, Sandra.
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Thanks Perry… no beatles. 🙂
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I love the point of here, Sandra. I could just feel this person watching her and wanting to reach her. Well done.
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Thank you Amy, glad you liked it.
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Ow, but this is hauntingly beautiful Sandra. I read it twice and almost teared up. 🙂
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Sometimes your stories require multiple readings — not because they’re obtuse (or perhaps I’m obtuse) but because sometimes you play tricks. This time, it was clear from the first sentence what was going on, and it just sucked me in. Very well done, darling, and fantastic choice of narrator, as many others have already said.
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Hi Sandra
I had the same issue with Firefox, it kept not letting me into my blog, I thought it was rusty with misuse, but switching browser did the trick! Great story, multi-layered as usual. You do sentiment very well – with a twist
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Oh, excellent. I had to read this a few times to ‘get it’. At first I thought it might be a dog or cat. Then I realised. You don’t do sentiment, but you do do Love. Ann
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Really enjoyed the “call and response” effect of the two voices Sandra
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A bitter sweet story of love and death-sad yet so beautiful and yes,loved the “creepy” element too-shiver!Excellent once again Sandra:-)
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to watch a silent scream form would be heart wrenching…i enjoyed your story.
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Sad yet beautifully written- I hope the bereaved will someday be able to sense their lost one’s presence.
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Sandra, you are Wonderful! What a story, so sad but beautifully done. Great job and you are really a good writer! Thanks for the tale. Nan
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Absolutely beautiful and so well told.
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Well captured and oh so sad!
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Woooow! Very succinct, crisp and chilling to me. Sandra, it rates a home run. Thank-you for this. It’s wonderful!
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