I like to walk here; you see things in the forest.
Not just birds and insects; not only deer peeping shyly from behind gnarly trunks, or foxes slinking from the shadows.
Sometimes I’ve seen bodies in the undergrowth; sometimes voles, dormice, rabbits.
Sometimes other bodies.
It’s getting dark; I hurry on home.
When I arrive Aunt Eleanor is visiting again. I watch Daddy, watching her.
Then I watch her, watching me.
She doesn’t like me much, but I don’t mind.
Daddy says I can have a pony sometime soon. And maybe a puppy too.
Because you see things in the forest.
Phew! Unpleasant though this little girl might be, she’s nothing on the first attempt I had for this week’s Friday Fictioneers. Maybe some other time …. 🙂 Rochelle springs a surprise on us this week by posting the prompt a day early – I thought I was having a senior moment for a while this morning.
How wonderfully creepy.
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Thank you Carol. It’s a great prompt this week for someone with your surname. 🙂
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I’m that used to my surname that it took a minute for what you meant to click. I worry myself at times.
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I was a Smith before I became a Crook… some small improvement there. 😉
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A sister of a friend went from Grove to Shrub.
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🙂
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Dear Sandra,
Well the surprise was actually on me. I schedule ahead and, apparently, hit the wrong date. So I was as shocked as anyone to wake up to three likes on 28 March.
I love the way you’ve told this story from the child’s POV. It makes it a little spookier because you see things…well done as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks for reading Rochelle. And now I’m a day ahead of myself which is great!
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Gave me chills! I like how you’ve shown the special connection between a father and daughter with similar skills. Question is: are they real, or is Aunt Eleanor?
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Who knows? 🙂 I think I’d call her ‘a chip off the old block’.
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Creepy, creepy, creepy!
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Thank you! 🙂
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After I read this, I looked at the picture again and suddenly began to see things in all the twisted shapes. From the title, I thought this was Dr. Seuss-esque, but not so much. 🙂 Great job.
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Thanks for dropping by David. It was an interesting prompt.
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I love that the child’s voice makes this story so believable. Well told 🙂
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Thanks Siobhan! 🙂
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Ooh very chilly, well done Sandra. I wondered where your walk through the wood was taking us, relieved it wasn’t quite as dark as I expected.
Dee
PS – Glad I wasn’t the only one to double check the calendar today!
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The first attempt was really dark Dee, but I abandoned it. Sometimes you can get too dark… 😉
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Well, you are able to do it so well
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Very nice Sandra. How well you write.
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That was seriously creepy, in so few words that was fantastic 🙂
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Thanks Helen. 🙂
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Well…that’s a tad spooky! Well done!
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Thank you!
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Sandra – very well told story from the child’s view. I see different things in the picture each time I look at it too. I hope the little girl gets a pony and a puppy. By the way, I don’t think I like Aunt Eleanor either. A puppy might cause problems with their superior sniffer. Poor little girl. Good job! Nan 🙂
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You’re a sympathetic soul Nan! 🙂 Glad you liked it.
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Sandra, once again, I leave your story with an image that is both haunting and awesome. It’s so good to be back where I can read all these wonderful things again!
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Welcome back, and thanks for visiting.
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Good story. It makes you wonder what’s going on with that family. It’s a bit scary. A lot of secrets. Well done.
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Thank you Patricia!
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that was wicked! and it’s great how you made use of the child’s voice, making it extra eerie.
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I was striking out for innocence but eerie came through, even to my eyes. 🙂
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Shaking my head here … as in you’ve done it again, Sandra. This story has some really great things in it. I loved the “watching me” “watching her” exchange. BTW, I had not heard of voles before. We call them “moles” here … and they are a nuisance! Great work, as usual!
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For your edification and delight Kent, (as they say in music hall) 🙂 I attach a link describing the differences between moles, voles and shrews. http://www.ccpa.net/DocumentCenter/Home/View/6476
Glad you liked it anyway, and thank you.
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Thanks. I read it. Very interesting. It’s been several years since I left home where my mom and dad live on ten acres. Yes, moles are what we have. Voles look a lot cuter than moles. We had brown field mice, but I don’t know what they really were or not. I just know we had a lot of rodent-like creatures around.
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I think Aunt Eleanor should be watching her and also watching her own step.
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I think you’re right Dawn 🙂
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Yikes. I love that your stories always lead somewhere worth going to.
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Thank you Linda, glad you liked it.
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Oooh… I don’t know what to think. I’m fairly convinced Aunt is just a title and Eleanor is not Daddy’s sister. Or at last …not, that’s even more creepy than I’m willing to go… and I love the opening lines building up to what you see. I can’t decide whether this girl is about to give it or get it!
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Why Jen, you’re even more twisted than I am! 🙂 In my head Aunt Eleaonor is his wife’s sister but now that you mention it…. Thanks for visiting and casting a new slant on things – I know I can rely on you. 😉
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Very creepy! But I want to know what your other story was going to be… or maybe I don’t!
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It will probably pop up somewhere down the line El. Thanks for reading. 🙂
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Lots of mystery in this little tale. Nicely done!
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Thanks Judah!
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I guess you could say the daughter made maximum use of her knowledge… and bodies can be so much.. he he.
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🙂 🙂 Thanks for reading Bjorn.
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Creepy! I loved the bit near the end where everyone was watching each other, it read really well.
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Thank you!
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I’m with everyone else: seriously creepy!
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🙂 There’s safety in numbers …
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This is a great story carol, I stopped and several scenarios came to me, equally scary. I like that you write in first person present, it gives your story a whole added dimension. Excellent piece.
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Thanks Michael; glad you liked it. How did you know that Carole is my middle name?
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My apologies Sandra, I have no idea. Maybe its old age. I am sorry for that.
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No worries. You can call me whatever you like… within reason. 🙂 Have a nice weekend.
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Thanks Sandra, I’ll get it right in future. You have a good one too.
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That was just creepy and I loved it. Good one!
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Thanks Jackie, I’ll be at yours shortly.
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I liked the creepy element in this Sandra! You “sharpened the edge” when you got her back to the house!
Regards
Jim
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Thanks Jim, glad you liked it.
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This is packed with good stuff, Carol. You leave just enough mystery at the end.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Thanks Marie Gail, glad you enjoyed it. (It’s Sandra… but you can call me Carol if you like 🙂 )
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Wow! I am batting .000 this week. So sorry, Sandra. I like your writing. Guess I was attempting to write more fiction when I commented her the first time.
Cheers!
MG
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great story. hope the girl gets a real pony.
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I think this little girl will certainly get all that she deserves, in time.
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The bodies were a bit unsettling. But the child is precious.
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Thanks for reading and commenting. 🙂
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Brilliantly done. Can’t make out which one is a ghost and which is not 🙂
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Thanks for reading.
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Very spooky tone of voice, Sandra. Loved it.
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Thanks Claire.
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Sandra, interestingly (or not) I did not find this little girl “unpleasant.” You have captured this child’s voice really well, and I thought she seemed like many children– honest, seeing, observant. Spooky, yet, but really good story.
I too had a senior moment… seeing this in the evening! Then, woke up the next morning and realized I’d posted my story to my blog, but not the linkz–arrgh!! I coulda’ been a contender! (#22 vs #41!) Feh.
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Ah, it’s obviously all in the eye of the beholder! 😉 Yes, my week has been really strange, I’ve been one day ahead of myself since Tuesday. Thanks for reading.
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Ooo–little pitchers have big ears–and eyes. Wonderful ending and a consistent voice. A memorable contribution, Sandra.
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Thank you Sorchia, glad you enjoyed it.
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A ha! Hush money. An insidious twist to a creepy tale.
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Hush money it is! 🙂
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I’m glad they were watching each other and not watching me. I’m not feeling warm, friendly smiles in their facial expressions.
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🙂 I’m seeing lust, suspicion and victory. Thanks for dropping by Roger.
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Creepy, with prickles under the skin and goosebumps. Wonderful!
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Thanks for reading Joanna, nice to see you here.
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Very scary and well written. What a way to get a pony! hope Aunt Eleanor was worth it.
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🙂 I hope so too.
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Oh so creepy. The birth of a blackmailer.
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An entrepreneur in the making, I fear. 🙂
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Indeed!
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Hi Sandra,
Great story. This girl sounded so innocent, and then, at the end, it hit me how manipulative she is. She knows where the bodies are buried. Beautifully structured story! Ron
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Thanks Ron. Funny how you start off with an intention (innocence in this case) and then the character just takes on a life of its own.
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A lot left unsaid. Well done.
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Thank you.
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Uh oh what did that kid see that its worth a pony and a puppy? Yikes!
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Not enough, apparently, to get to Disney. There’s time yet though…
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Oh good grief, that was so very creepy. Absolutely brilliant. That child knows her power….
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Show me a little girl who doesn’t. 🙂 Thanks for dropping by Freya.
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Hmm…so did one of those bodies belong to the child’s mother? Great as usual Sandra but I especially enjoy thought provoking stories.
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That’s a chilling though BA. 🙂
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Somehow I don’t trust this little girl. I can see her wandering around the forest, planning her next move. Someone better get her a pony, Sandra. Quick! Great story!
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The sky’s the limit for this little girl I think.
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I love this little girl. No matter what…she gets what she wants…even if it’s only make-believe. Or is it?
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Hmmm? 🙂 Thanks for dropping by.
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Yikes!But on the plus side,she is going to get that pony and that puppy too-not a bad bargain eh for having “eyes” ? ; -) Loved this creepy and wickedly evil tale Sandra but then I am from the dark side too 😛 (Am quite curious about your original version 😀 )
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It pays to be observant, I guess.:)
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😀
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I interpret this a couple different ways – a) that this girl is TRULY horrid and is killing things, or b) that she has seen things in the forest that her daddy doesn’t want anyone to know about.
Thoughts?
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It’s the second one I guess, Helena. Though the first might be a possibility. 🙂
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I enjoy the “gentle” things this child sees in the forest. No goblins, no dwarfs. Good job.
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Theses leaves me with so many questions and ways into your character’s story. Not sure I want to investigate many of them though 🙂
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What a strange family. That was creepy good. Well done. Lucy
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