Moving On (Friday Fictioneers, May 2014)

Copyright Renee Heath

“Move on,” he said as he left.

And gradually the anger softened; I found I could manipulate it.

Sometimes I’d even briefly forget, but then the rivulets of resentment trickled unseen, spilling into other parts of my life before hardening into spikes of bitterness. I would break them off at will… roll them fractiously between my fingers.

I saw them today, laughing, glowing with love and life.

And the pain returned.

So tonight I carefully fashioned two more figures, suspending them by the neck above the flame again, but closer.

It had better work this time… I need to move on.

We’re leaving port today, so just enough time to post this week’s Friday Fictioneers submission before casting off.  Will catch up with you all later on, internet connection permitting.  Thanks once again to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for her patience, perseverance and unfailing diplomacy.  🙂 

Advertisements

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

80 Responses to Moving On (Friday Fictioneers, May 2014)

  1. Dear Sandra,

    There’s moving on and then there’s moving on. I love the way you take her from jilted lover to angry witch (in the literal sense). Creepy subtlety.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  2. The voodoo angle… yeah that was a good one. Nothing’s like a woman scorned.

    Like

  3. What a great, lasting image in that final line.
    Well told, Sandra

    Like

  4. To be helplessly hung up on something or someone…what a pain, what a burden. Great story.

    Like

  5. Creepy **and awesome** ..you do voodoo well!

    Like

  6. You are at your best with these mysterious, ‘under the skin’ tales of human foils. Delicious intrigue again!

    Like

  7. Sandra,
    that is some extreme closure. 🙂 I think this is the first dark story I’ve read this week. I’m glad I’m not the only one. Wonderful story. I look forward to reading your stories every week.
    -David

    Like

  8. Dee says:

    Love the picture of the two figures, suspended by the neck – gruesome but somehow satisfying.
    Well done
    Dee

    Like

  9. This story immediately made me think of Sheryl Crow’s “It Don’t Hurt” which also is the tale of a woman scorned with a surprise ending. You are good!!!

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      I’m not familiar with that song – I’ll have to look it up. Thanks for dropping by – I’ve been by yours to see how your project is coming along. Well done!

      Like

  10. wmqcolby says:

    Gee whiz, Sandra, you’re on a roll with this creepy stuff! Wonderful job, always. Thanks!

    Like

  11. Made me smile – great story.

    Like

  12. Sandra, Another really good story. Let’s hope the “melting” gets her over her intense ill feeling about the couple. Have a good trip. Well done. 🙂

    Like

  13. I just love ‘rivulets of resentment’ and ‘spikes of bitterness’, in fact I love the whole thing. Really great characterisation.

    Like

  14. yarnspinnerr says:

    You gave it a perfect ending.

    Like

  15. elmowrites says:

    nicely woven tale as usual, Sandra. I particularly liked that middle paragraph where you describe the anger like molten wax. Creepy stuff indeed.
    The first line was a bit clichéd, but it works too well with the ending for me to want you to change it. And anyway, break ups often are a bit cliched

    Like

  16. Sandra! I’d thought about using the candle wax in my story but couldn’t come up with anything so went another direction. But, OH MY, you certainly did. This is wonderful. Alicia

    Like

  17. Wonder if this is where Madame Tussauds got her idea for the wax museums.

    Like

  18. Great idea, Sandra, and flawless execution as usual. (That’s me being fulsome.) 🙂

    janet

    Like

  19. helenmidgley says:

    I loved how you played with the imagery. Evil but great, lol 🙂

    Like

  20. Indira says:

    Move on and How! very well written Sandra.

    Like

  21. Beautiful. I could feel the pain in your words. Well done.

    Like

  22. misskzebra says:

    I hope for her sake this method allows her to relieve her anger a little! So few ways to vent your emotions in these kinds of situations!

    Like

  23. Do I dare admit I know exactly how she feels? Not that I would curse anyone or melt them or …how do you do that, anyway? Kidding 😉

    Like

  24. Nice creepy story, with a great “callback” at the end. Very good!

    Like

  25. Jan Brown says:

    Wow! Nice build-up to a wicked ending. Well done!

    Like

  26. I really liked the metaphor for your emotions and then the real life act of vengeance.

    Like

  27. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Sandra,

    Your MC sounds exactly like me of late. Strange…

    ….and well done, as usual, which is not easy, even though you make it appear so.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      If someone’s giving you grief Doug, let me know. Or send me some of their hair and fingernail clippings… 😉 Thank you for dropping by. Hope you are well.

      Like

  28. Brilliant! That simple.

    Like

  29. Lucy says:

    Well done. I knew a witch who put a curse on her ex. Damned if it didn’t work. Great story. Lucy

    Like

  30. Judah First says:

    I love how you wove her emotions into the shape of the dripping wax. That was awesome!

    Like

  31. elappleby says:

    Oh – I love it! I think we had similar trains of thought this week, only mine went into the light and yours into a very dark tunnel. Great malicious stuff!

    Like

  32. Fabulous take on the prompt! I never thought of voodoo. Great twist ending.

    Like

  33. good take on the story. especially liked the second half. on another note, safe journey

    Like

  34. plaridel says:

    your story was truly inspired by this week’s picture prompt. well done.

    Like

  35. unspywriter says:

    Ha! Great way to move on. At least she’s persistent. 😉

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/hope-in-the-darkest-of-days/

    Like

  36. znjavid says:

    I love the para about the rivulets of resentment. Describes the photo so well.

    Like

  37. what great imagery….. sweet revenge.

    Like

  38. K.Z. says:

    carefully crafted creepiness! love it 🙂

    Like

  39. Amy Reese says:

    This is excellent.Sandra! I considered the voodoo angle. Your story is quite effective and so well written.

    Like

  40. I love the imagery in this. Well done. Cheers! 🙂

    Like

  41. Adam Ickes says:

    Love this, Sandra. I find myself wondering if she only got into witchcraft because of him. It seems she would have known what would work and what wouldn’t if she had always been practicing the dark arts.

    Like

  42. Nan Falkner says:

    Sandra, wonderful story – Voodoo is so creepy but it works! Thanks for the chill up and down my spine. Very good! Nan 🙂 Oh yes, have a wonderful, safe trip!

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s