Beachcomber (Friday Fictioneers, May 2014)

Copyright B W Beacham

“Please hurry.”

With trembling fingers I pocket the phone, hoping they’ll find me quickly.

The body lies half-covered by seaweed, but I can still hear the relentless drone of insects meandering through what is left of the head. I struggle to control my heaving stomach.

The legs are splayed awkwardly, one red shoe with a broken heel dangling drunkenly from an upturned foot. She must have tried to escape.

The stillness of the dawn is broken by distant sirens and I sigh, relieved.

Closer though, sand begins to whisper, seagrass rustles irritably in protest.

And behind me, ragged breathing…

Posting this as we cruise between locks, hoping the mobile connection will hold on as we disappear further into the French countryside.  Friday Fictioneers time again, and thanks to Rochelle once more. 

Advertisements

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

108 Responses to Beachcomber (Friday Fictioneers, May 2014)

  1. Oh that breathing.. run run.. but I guess that will only get that murderous policeman excited…

    Like

  2. Dear Sandra,

    I felt the panic rising in my own throat as I read. As always, your descriptions are vivid and your story well written as always.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  3. MrBinks says:

    This line: “seagrass rustles irritably in protest” is great!
    Nice work (as usual), Sandra.

    Like

  4. Wonderful tension – from first word to last. And of course your forte, being able to keep everything tight and on edge. Word perfect description, like both you and kz do so well. A good read.

    Like

  5. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Sandra,

    A piece part and parcel with the beauty of the prompt. Lyrical description, respite, and then….

    You are truly a master at this craft.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

  6. ‘What is left of the head’ – a punch in the stomach for your readers! And the ending is even more scary. Really well done Sandra.

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      This is a recurring nightmare for me – that I come across the victim of violence and the perpetrator still lurks. I really must stop eating cheese at bedtime…

      Like

  7. Oh man, that’s when you look for a big piece of driftwood to swing. I hope the sirens get there before they have two bodies to recover.

    Like

  8. Beautiful descriptions and tight tight sentences. Sent shivers that last line!

    Like

  9. wmqcolby says:

    Once again, Sandra, you got it down! Fine suspense and makes me want to read more. Poe would have been proud, Agatha, too. Bravo!

    Like

  10. Well done, as always!

    Like

  11. yarnspinnerr says:

    You made me look over my shoulder ……

    Like

  12. YOU’RE SCARING ME, SANDRA!!! This was so good! “Seagrass rustles irritably”….each word so well chosen.

    Like

  13. This is so full of adrenaline. Even to the end where if it was a movie I would gue a scream!.

    Like

  14. If there was going to be a dead body this week, I’m glad it was you that wrote it. As Doug said, you are a master at this. Honestly, the wrecked shopping cart made me thing of the lyrics to an old (not THAT old) U2 song “dressed up like a car crash, your wheels are turning, but you’re upside down.” I didn’t know how to write that without just cribbing the lyrics, so I went in another direction.

    Like

  15. Sandra, Well-written story as always with vivid, realistic description. It reads like an episode of CSI Miami or New York. I felt like I was there alone with the corpse and in deadly danger.

    Susan

    Like

  16. You drag us lyrically through a variety of horrible emotions, Sandra. Perfectly crafted and executed as always. The punch of fear after the moment of relief is worse by contrast.

    janet

    Like

  17. Way creepy! I say run like the wind. (My lady wore red shoes, too!) Nicely written.

    Like

  18. paulmclem says:

    Love the description of the body….

    Like

  19. Yikes! Great take on the photo this week, I’d love to hear what happens next!!

    Like

  20. helenmidgley says:

    Ohh, loving the tension, I could almost hear the breathing myself 🙂

    Like

  21. Sometimes I open five fictioneers stories in a row of tabs and I am not always sure of who I am reading until I scroll down to the comments. But the last line and I knew…Sandra..excellent, as always.

    Like

  22. znjavid says:

    Very scary! Time to run.
    The vivid descriptions made it so real.
    Zainab

    Like

  23. Lucy says:

    Okay. that scared me. Excellent. So well done. Lucy

    Like

  24. storydivamg says:

    The chill is in the air, Sandra. Nice cliffhanger this week.

    Cheers!
    Marie Gail

    Like

  25. Fantastic story, Sandra. An amazing emotional rollercoaster ride in 100 words! From fear, horror, relief, to terror. Beautifully written.

    Like

  26. Ragged breathing? Run, protagonist, run! Very creepy and effective.

    Like

  27. Jan Brown says:

    The tension builds with amazing imagery…and leaves us in utter suspense! Well done!

    Like

  28. subroto says:

    Ragged breathing? Run rabbit run….

    Like

  29. This gave me shivers and made my stomach wrench as well. The insects meandering through the head was gruesome, but very powerful. The suspense was nearly too much to handle!

    Like

  30. The tension in this piece is chilling! Excellent, Sandra!
    Hope your trip is divine. 😉

    Like

  31. Honie Briggs says:

    I could feel the anticipation and panic. Nicely done, Sandra.

    Like

  32. misskzebra says:

    Very tense, but after reading your description I’m not sure how much a paramedic would be able to help…

    Like

  33. plaridel says:

    i could only imagine what would happen next. 😦

    Like

  34. draliman says:

    I like the tension. Sounds like the body will soon be joined by another.

    Like

  35. Geez, she’s going to her doom. Lets hope the sirens would have gotten their in time. A well executed story (loved it!) 🙂

    Like

  36. AnnIsikArts says:

    Scary! Well told, lots of suspense. Enjoy your cruising Sandra. I’m off to our boat tomorrow to continue painting the interior. The hull is stripped of its old antifouling now and looks like a giant egg! Will we get it into the water this year? Maybe! Ann

    Like

  37. unspywriter says:

    Ominous to make me shiver, and I’ll be looking over my shoulder at every little noise for the rest of the day. So, good job! 😉

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/rising-tides-are-what-they-are/

    Like

  38. A nasty ending. Spoiling our Fridays yet once again. Soooo good.

    Like

  39. elappleby says:

    Loved the tension in this one, great writing especially ‘sand begins to whisper’- great line 🙂

    Like

  40. Oh my, I can feel the tension. Run, please run!

    Like

  41. Amy Reese says:

    You paint a grisly scene here. And, it’s not over yet. Great details. I wanted to heave, too. Good one!

    Like

  42. Good grief, this is horrible! Well done! 🙂

    Like

  43. sandraconner says:

    Well, there is really nothing left for me to say after all of these very accurate acclamations. So I’ll just add that I must agree.

    Like

  44. sandraconner says:

    Love your new header photo.

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      Thank you, just about time for a change now I think.

      Like

      • sandraconner says:

        And if I’m just now noticing it, just goes to show how long it’s been since I’ve been able to take part in Friday Fictioneers. Hopefully, my work life will settle down again, and I’ll be able to stick to the FF program more regularly again as a result.

        Like

  45. Taygibay says:

    I hope that you have a bicycle, Sandra! If the coverage drops in a small commune or département, just forget us virtual folks and hop on it following the chemin de halage to the next lock! No relation to the story whatsoever, just friendly advice, Tay.

    Like

  46. writeamy says:

    You did so much with your 100 words. I felt like I was right there and was terrified.

    Like

  47. Spine-tingling ending, particularly after the relief of hearing the sirens

    Like

  48. Nan Falkner says:

    Hi Sandra, Wow! What a creepy, well written tale! You can hear the tension in the air – this is magnificent! Sandra, you are a master! Love it! Nan 🙂

    Like

  49. Bastet says:

    OMG …this is so creepy, scared the britches off me! A great write!

    Like

  50. Sarah Ann says:

    You capture the mood of desolation so well. I hope she unpockets the phone and wraps her fingers around it to sock it to the approaching heavy breather.

    Like

  51. Pingback: Friday Fictioneers – Fingers | The Reclining Gentleman

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s