On black dog days, the door remained closed.
We crept about the house, ducking beneath the shadows festering outside the study.
Mother said that for him, when the black dog came, there was no difference between day and night. He couldn’t help it, she said.
As we grew, we began resenting that gaping hole in the family where he used to exist, and we challenged him.
“C’mon Dad, get a grip, man…”
“Take a pill or something…”
Finally he did.
I sit at his desk. The shape in the corner rises, tongue lolling, waiting to play.
I get up and close the door.
It’s been a sad week and I expect lots of us will have recent events on our minds as we buckle down to Friday Fictioneers this week. I found this link whilst googling around, which says it better than I can really. The graphics on this clip are so apt.
A black dog.. very intriguing and dark. Whenever i hear black dog I think Led Zeppelin .. eyes shining red.
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I think something quite different Bjorn. 😉
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Dear Sandra,
That nasty black dog used to live in my corner. It took years to evict him and I’m pleased to say that when I hear him scratching at the door now it’s easier to ignore him.
As always your story’s well written and right on target.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I had an encounter with him myself too, Rochelle. He still hangs around the block but doesn’t get fed on this patch if I can help it. 🙂 Thanks for commenting.
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Dearest Sandra,
Your story this week is one of your best ever. It is a credit to you that I find myself saying that quite often to you, but that’s your fault for being so damn good. Please keep at it. Stellar work this week.
I’ve heard it said that two of the major job related hazards of writer’s are alcoholism and depression. i’ve missed the first and know where the second one lives. When he comes to visit I fight tooth and nail and eventually he leaves. I think he knows he’s not welcome. If he ever decides to move in for good, I’m leaving. I’m pretty sure that’s what happened to Robin. We all lost a friend this week.
You are a wonderful person and a great writer, Sandra.
Mahalo and Aloha,
Doug
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Awww thanks for that Doug. Your comments mean a lot to me. I wonder just how many of us have completely escaped the attentions of the black dog. When I saw some recent clips of Robin, it seemed as though the light had gone out of his eyes. The smile certainly had. We’ll miss him and his work.
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I have a black dog. Literally. She helps me keeping that other black dog at bay. Wonderful, wonderful story, very poignant and relevant.
As for Mr.Williams…Sad day…He was a lonely man, loved by millions.
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I could see how that would happen – you’re very lucky. Thanks for reading and commenting, and I agree with your final comments.
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When you have to make the choice….you make it..there’s evil in that tale, not sure in who exactly though…good may have triumphed through evil means.
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Thanks for dropping by, Hamish. 🙂
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I agree with Doug – as this being one of your best I read !
Guess that Black Dog in some shape or size has visited most. It drove me to despair too – and am blessed that I have my significant other to drive it away now a days !
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… and loved the linked clip! am sharing it on facebook and twitter !
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I really did think that was graphically excellent – glad you liked it. Hope others benefit from it.
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It’s good when those closest have the ability to bring the sufferer out of it. Doesn’t always work, but terrific when it does. Thanks for dropping by and for your comments.
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That’s why I feel blessed Sandra !
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Excellent piece. Sometimes it’s necessary to take that pill.
And a great video. Says so much.
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Thanks Patrick. I thought the video was a matter of fact, quietly understated, non patronising way of getting some advice across. Glad you liked the piece.
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Did Winston Churchill actually coin that phrase? Can’t recall, but I’ve used it my whole adult life. My father had a black dog, too, and my sister and I heard its growl far too often, and we knew to run and hide or else get bitten. I sat inside your story and relived childhood nightmares. That’s how well written it was — I just wish I hadn’t read it this morning. Yes, it’s a mixed back of compliment and sadness, darling, but you know it’s my way. I need a hug now.
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I believe he did Helena. It’s said that it was the depressive side of his nature that enabled him to identify the threat that Hitler represented long before other, more optimistic souls. Thanks for reading and commenting, now go out there and seize the day. (Hugs) 🙂
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I’m reminded of Winston Churchill and Robin Williams. I note the element of heredity too. Sandra, this is one of your very best yet. And that’s saying something.
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Thank you Barbara! 🙂 Yes, I believe a depressive personaity does run in some families. I beieve Churchill’s daughter Diana committed suicide The inevitable nature/nurture debate prevails, or as I call it these days ‘hardwired/acquired’.
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Sandra, That was an excellent story. I’ve lived with my husband and know that black dog well. He has bi-polar disorder. He’s finally staying on his medication after 3 times in the hospital. I heard that poor suffering Robin Williams had bi-polar disorder. I wasn’t surprised when I heard that because I recognize the symptoms after almost 40 years of marriage to a sufferer. The manic behavior is a give-away. I recently had to hire a full-time caregiver as my husband is almost 84 and broke a hip. We just take it a day at a time. That’s about all most of us can manage.I’m a bit OC, but fight it. I have to fight depression because someone has to remain in charge and stable. I can’t afford to live in a dream world. Most of us can’t. Always well written. —Susan
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I’m really sorry to hear about your difficult situation Susan, I can imagine the reserves that you might have to draw on from time to time. I hope that the situation stabilises and that you are able to keep your head above water. Best regards.
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Thanks Sandra. 🙂 —Susan
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Lovely piece, Sandra. The video helped round it out (although it is plenty round as it is) thanks for including it!
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Thanks Alicia. Yes, I’ve watched the video several times now, it’s very effective. Thanks for reading.
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Sandra,
I have agree with Doug, this is phenomenal. It is especially apt this week too. Amazing story.
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Thank you David, so glad you liked it. 🙂
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Sandra, This is both eloquent and timely. I absolutely was touched by it – especially in light of Robin Williams’ passing. Depression is indeed a black dog and takes over too many lives. Really well done!!
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Thank you Erin, and very pleased to see you here. It seems like a while, hope all is well with you.
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Wow. Great build up to a killer ending. One of my favourites of yours so far. Thanks for sharing!
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Thanks Paul, glad you liked it.
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Straight through the heart. The black dog, my constant companion. Depression is a cancer that eats away at your soul…one day at a time. Robin Williams did not die from suicide, he died from a much greater demon. I am hoping this event will open a door ( even if it is just a crack ) to a better understanding. Your story is both timely and thought provoking..well done.
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Sorry to hear that you’re on such close terms with the black dog. It can indeed be soul-destroying. Stay strong. Thanks for reading.
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These days, maybe always, but only recently we start to pay more attention to the black dog visits. It’s a dangerous disease and most of the time it’s not treated as a disease. You described it very well. Thanks,
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At least there tends to be more open-ness about depression these days; and hopefully more understanding. Thanks for reading.
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i agree that it’s a sad week, indeed.
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“Black Dog” was Winston Churchill’s name for depression and one can only wonder how he dealth with such a debilitating disease while also dealing with WWII. Black Dog, of course, is a whole different animal from the small “d” depression. I’ve long thought Robin Williams was bipolar along with a number of other celebrities who do not acknowledge it. Wish he had found a way to defeat Black Dog before it defeated him.
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Very true Perry.
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My Black dog is a lurker waiting to pounce. I send him on holiday, but he returns from time to time. Some dogs chew on slippers; he chews on my dreams keeping me awake nights.
Awesome post, Sandra. And thank you for sharing the film.
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My black dog is an early riser, Lynda. Glad you enjoyed the story and the clip.
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Very sad and topical story, beautifully written.
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Thank you!
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That black dog lurks, at times quiet or asleep, at other times panting and licking his slobbering chops, until the time is right, or wrong.
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You are so right there JK.
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Excellent story, Sandra. I keep the Black Dog at bay with medication, But, when going through cancer treatment for a year, I had a difficult time. He was my companion for awhile. I’m just amazed by discovering that so many people are bi-polar. It’s so sad that Robin Williams will no longer be here. thanks for such a wonderful story. Lucy
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Yes, the black dog knows when you’re below par. I hope you’re coping now Lucy. Glad you enjoyed the story.
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Thanks, Sandra. I’m doing fine now. Lucy
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A powerful story and made even more so by the implication that the dog isn’t finished in this home. This is condensed fiction at its absolute best; i can’t praise highly enough.
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Thank you Jennifer. I appreciate your comments. 🙂
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Must admit to being ignorant of ‘the Black Dog’. A quick read through the comments did well to enlighten me, which meant that when I reread the story again, the pieces fell into place. The end is very poignant, all in all an enjoyable read. Thank you
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Thanks very much, for reading and reading again. 🙂 I appreciate your comments.
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An incredibly well-written story! Very touching.
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Thank you very much Sarah. 🙂
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Tremendous and powerful story, Sandra. I shared both a link to your story and the YouTube link on Facebook. People need to be educated.
Thanks for this one.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Thank you Marie Gail. I’m very pleased you liked it enough to share.
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Sandra, hauntingly beautiful. Clearly our minds are in similar places this week. No doubt there are many who share the space. This piece is really evocative. Interestingly, I read yours and Bjorn’s back to back… Dogs abound. Hugs, as we all grieve.
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Yes, I thought it was going to be a dog week when I saw Bjorn’s. Thanks for reading and commenting. I’ll be doing the rounds again later this morning and will get to yours then. Have a good day.
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You have it spot on, Sandra. A lack of understanding and sympathy towards those who need it from those they need it from the most. It really hurts.
A very effective and emotionally powerful piece.
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I think onlookers feel so helpless and that sharpens their reactions inappropriately. People like to help, but the help that can be given by friends and families doesn’t come in the usual, practical form. Thanks for reading.
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Wow spot on Sandra! Very powerful.
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Thank you Riya! 🙂
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How sad 😦 I can understand the frustration…this was so powerful and soft, Sandra.
Ellespeth
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Hi Ellespeth. Thanks for reading and commenting. 🙂
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Great story Sandra, reminded me of Winston Churchill who was said to have suffered from depression and was thought by some to have been bi-polar.
In a letter to his wife, after consulting a new doctor, he wrote ; “I think this man might be useful to me – if my black dog returns. He seems quite away from me now – it is such a relief. All the colours come back into the picture.”
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I think that lack of colour in everything is the one thing I remember most clearly about my long-distant encounter with the black dog. Thanks for reading Dee, and adding to the topic.
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They’re so easily said, aren’t they, those words, ‘take a pill or something’, without thinking of the consequences. This is so beautifully written Sandra, and so tragic. Well done.
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We’re all so used to providing solutions I suppose; this is, after all, the self-help age. We medicate ourselves, and we imagine that we can fix others too with our ready remedies. Thanks for reading Claire. Have a nice weekend.
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The link helped a lot to understand your excellent story Sandra. Very nicely written.How much I’m learning from you friends. Thanks.
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Thanks for reading Indira and for your lovely comment. I really like the clip, I must have watched it a dozen times. 🙂
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On my first read through, I thought the black dog was some kind of muse that overwhelmed the father for a time. (Note I’ve just come out of three weeks of intense editing, so this was an understandable interpretation!) On further reading, while the two (my interpretation and your intended meaning) may overlap, your story is even more amazing when I read as you intended. Excellent work, Sandra. Profoundly moving.
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Glad you liked it Lisa. Hope you’re able to take a break now! 🙂 Thanks for commenting.
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Hi Sandra
Excellent, but very sad, story. I’ve read a lot of the comments you’ve had this week, and it seems everyone connected in some way with your story. Nice one 🙂
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Thanks Chris. Yes, I’ve been surprised at just how many have experienced similar episodes. The good thing is that people have felt free to talk about it. Thanks for reading.
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The black dog returns be it a time wrong or right. And most of the time you just can’t shoo it away.Excellent post Sandra.
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He has his own agenda, I fear. Thanks for reading. 🙂
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It was a tough week. The world lost a very special person and it won’t be the same without him. Unfortunately, depression hangs around in wait, ready to nab the next vulnerable person. It can happen to anyone. Moving story, Sandra.
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Thanks Amy. I agree, it was a tough week.
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Dear Sandra, Depression has touched so many people and I am no exception. Robin Williams was only 2 years younger than me, but most of my adult life, I have laughed with him, and been happy. He was a delightful comedic human being. Sandra, your piece is so heartwarming. Personally, I have always thought people who commit suicide, are selfish. Darn it all – why don’t they understand the harm they do to the ones left behind? Your story was right on Sandra – right on! Thanks! Nan
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I honestly believe Nan, that the personal distress some experience whilst in the deepest depths of depression can simply overwhelm all those considerations. Maybe they even rationalise that their loved ones will be better off without them? Whatever… thanks for reading, and I hope you are well now.
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the story blew me away. sadly, i can relate to this one too. you probably know about my mother since i mentioned her in one of my earlier FF stories and like her, i’m very much prone to melancholy though i’m often embarrassed to admit it. like the character in your story, i, too, used to hate her for that but now that i’m an adult, i get it. an excellent piece and handled very well.
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Sorry if this awoke some unhappy memories for you KZ. It seems that writers are particularly susceptible to depression, melancholia… however it’s described. Stay well and thanks for dropping by.
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Looks like we had a similar theme this week Sandra, but you do it so well. I’ve been chased by that dog before but I keep it locked up and throw away the key. This was beautifully written.
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Thank you for reading. I’m glad you’re keeping the dog at bay. 🙂
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Sandra, your story this week is particularly well-written and conveys so much in its 100 short words. The black dog has seldom asked me to play, for which I am forever grateful, but it loves the company of many in my family and circle of friends.
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Thanks for reading Diana, glad you liked it, but sorry that it strikes a chord with you in respect of your family.
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An incredibly moving story! Exceptionally well crafted!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Too many suffer silently or misunderstood with depression.
I know.
Black dogs, death angels, dark demons …. too many mysteries and all together so complex. No quick fixes or pills can alter what happens in the mind. It is one terribly difficult battle, and people need to be made aware – and be non judgmental, as with so many other things in life.
Very powerful piece of writing Sandra. Strong, evocative and although silently sad, your little “twist” at the end is, imo, humorous too – darkly so; it holds interest and curiosity as I wander off to think about outcomes and possibilities.
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Thanks for reading Pat, I appreciate you commenting.
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very well written Sandra
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Thank you!
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Oh oh. Sounds ominous and scary.
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So, in order to make up for the black dog’s absence, the dad pretended to be it, right? I’m asking because I feel there are deeper levels here (meaning, I’m probably reading a lot more into it than is there already).
A really good piece of work this week, Sandra. Great!
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I guess this didn’t work for you then Kent. 😉 But thanks for reading and commenting so kindly.
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Wow. that’s wonderful. I was especially struck at the “finally he did,” wondering what kind of pill he took: whether it was an anti-depressant (which presumably worked) or (more likely in my imagination) the failure to empathize on his family’s part led him to take an escape route. With that in mind, I loved the ending, which leaves hope alive.
Thank you for the story.
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There are many ways to look at this I guess, depending on your outlook. Thanks for reading.
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Wow, those graphics were riveting. Thanks for including that link with your on point story.
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They were, weren’t they Dawn? I liked the way the black dog is just so impassive all the time. Thanks for visiting.
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I’m saving the link to that video. I have a hard time wrapping my head around chemical depression, This really helps me understand. Thanks again for sharing it.
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I did come across another one in the same style, by the same author/narrator/illustrator – but slightly different. I’ll see if I can find it and paste a link. And you’ve picked the right description there… chemical. 😦
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My mother was a sufferer. I grew up with that dog.
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Black Dog day again as the door remains closed. Intriguing…
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Thanks Anita.
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Outstanding piece, Sandra. I touched by the sadness. It’s all so very real, especially this week.
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Thanks Russell. It’s good we can rely on you for a little light relief. 😉
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“The shape in the corner rises, tongue lolling” is such an unflinching, dehumanised image – it captures the effect of the condition so well.
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I confess to resisting a shudder when I wrote it… 😦
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Well, reading the line certainly induces a shudder – which is a compliment, of course.
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Such a sad and painful story – full of guilt. I hate that this family has inherited the black dog as well as the desk.
The link you provided is a really useful and accessible one.
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