Copyright Marie-Gail Stratford
Almost too perfect; such clear, amber pools of light, the faint blush, the blood-red promise of satisfaction. Those long delicate necks … simply craving the touch of a discerning, caressing hand.
He kept them in the shadows, their shapely elegance proofed against invasive, fumbling fingers and the uneducated palate of the chattering classes.
He leisurely anticipated the moment they’d be ripe for tasting.
Their bouquet would linger on his bloodless lips; he’d savour the full-bodied taste he’d nurtured over twenty years.
He was to be disappointed.
Intruders snatched his prizes, slaked their thirst indiscriminately.
And his girls left with them.
Back home again after a great season of cruising and wondering how I’ll keep myself occupied during the next few months until we set off on our travels again. Apologies if I’ve not returned or acknowledged visits from other Friday Fictioneers as comprehensively as usual – I did my best, given the weather, the internet connection etc etc. Thanks once again to Rochelle for her hard work hosting this weekly get-together.
castelsarrasin 
Dear Sandra,
I’ve just told someone that you are amazing. (Only the bloodless lips have me wondering) An amazingly well crafted story, a little mystery, a touch of class and a big glass of humor. I love it, and you.
I know you will find something to occupy your time. Welcome back to the wait for Winter (whatever that is).
Aloha,
Doug
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Thanks for reading and commenting Doug. First up, best dressed this week. 🙂 (That might have you wondering too.) ‘Bloodless lips’ is a familiar phrase to me, meaning pale, lacking in the usual rosy hue. But these differences in vernacular are life-blood to Friday Fictioneers. 🙂 And thank you for your compliment – I love it when you love me or my work. Have a good week.
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Dear Sandra,
For someone who is a connoisseur it would be frustrating for him to see the less cultured dub his fine wine collection as “good hooch.” At least this is what I’m seeing in the story. Like Doug, I’m baffled by ‘bloodless lips.’
As always, the writing is wonderful and how you come up with them so quickly is beyond me.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I think I might be getting a bit too obscure for my own good here. 🙂 But thank you for reading, and for putting in the effort week after week. We really do appreciate it.
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Dear Sandra,
Perhaps it’s not your obscurity but my density. 😉 I’ll be watching to the comments for clues to what I’ve missed. At the very least I’m open to learn.
Friday Fictioneers is my pleasure and passion (and sometimes my albatross).
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very clever metaphor – it took me a second read to work it out. He sounds like he deserved to lose everything – creepy.
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Thank you Claire. You’ve reassured me. He is an unlikeable creepy man, isn’t he?
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Beautiful choice of words, you pulled me right into the heart of the story. Too bad it ended bad, I would love to feel his ultimate satisfaction after all those years.
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Really? 🙂 Thanks for reading, glad you liked it.
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Some collectors deserve to loose it all.. the selfishness to keep perfection to yourself.. to human, to bad.. and yes the metaphor beyond wine is even worse.
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Isn’t it just? 😉 Thanks for dropping by Bjorn.
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I love your flash fiction Sandra….you show so much in so few words. The u likeable, creepy character came across well. Glad he got his come-uppance!
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Thanks, Sue.
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Sandra, You painted a great word picture of that man. In this day and age he shouldn’t have depended on just one material good for his supreme pleasure. It’s looks like his “girls” just considered themselves employees and nothing more. I wonder if he’s learned a lesson. Well written as always. 🙂 —Susan
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Thank you Susan. Hope things pick up for you soon.
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impressive writing
The Sunshine
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Am I way off-base this week? I think a certain Count had his “collection” wrested away prematurely.
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Your imagination is even more wayward than mine, Barbara. I didn’t actually have vampires in mind, but I guess it does fit… Thanks for reading. 🙂
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Talk about wild and wooley, right, Sandra? It was the “necks” that convinced me!!
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I think I got it Sandra. It’s not wine . . . Love the way you compared the girls with wine bottles. “Those long delicate necks”. Welcome home. Many projects will keep you busy during the long winter days (or short) and soon spring will be upon us.
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Thanks Alicia. Glad you got it. 🙂 Yes, I can hardly wait for spring.
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Sandra, I had a feeling as I read that he wasn’t talking about wine. He is quite the patient creep, to wait, and nurture, for that long. I wonder if he’ll start again.
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Thanks for dropping by David. Yes, he’s an unpleasant person, I think.
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Sandra, what a clever and subtle metaphor (bottles and girls) you created here. The creep deserves to lose both his collections. As for “bloodless lips”, I perfectly understand. Have read that phrase many times. Excellent as usual.
janet
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Thanks for dropping by Janet, and for your reassurance on that phrase. 🙂
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From “the blood-red promise of satisfaction”, “those long delicate necks”, and of course the “bloodless lips” I thought this was a vampire story.
I thought that unusual for you but I have learned to never pigeon hole you.
MG does love a good vampire story, you know. 😉
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No it wasn’t meant to be a vampire story, but I guess it works too…
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This story struck home for me. Many years ago I was enjoying the subtle differences between three bottles of single-malt scotch while a buddy and I were jamming on our acoustics. He asked which one I liked best and I told him. He pour some four fingers into a glass, tossed in some ice, then dumped in a topper of Coke. If I hadn’t been so shocked I might have actually smashed his skull with my guitar.
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I can understand your grief. Not a scotch fan myself, but anyone who doctors their drink with Coke deserves all they get. Thanks for reading JK.
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I love the mystery that you bring to this piece, Sandra. It makes me wonder what else is left unsaid about the bottles. So much told in such few words. I bow 🙂
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Thank you! 🙂
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Highly sensuous stuff here. It must be that canal water that you’re drinking.
I’m pleased he got his clutching comeuppance.
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‘clutching comeuppance’… now I like the sound of that.
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He took me a couple of reads, because I immediately look for clues in the prompt. What a creepy man. He deserves to be abandoned. Great writing, Sandra. Highly evocative.
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Thanks Amy, glad you liked it.
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Okay so I too had a creepy vision in mind. His collection was bottled ladies, their lifeblood, souvenirs of a psychopath. I fear the bandits are in for a surprise even if they do know vintages. Clever and ooky tale 🙂
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Thanks, glad you liked it. 🙂
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Thank goodness the girls got out. That man needs a comeuppance! Well done Sandra as usual. Subtle, I love subtle as I rarely achieve it myself. 🙂
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Oh come, I’ve seen and admire subtlety on your page. 🙂
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he grew old as his wine collection. unfortunately, he didn’t grow as gracefully.
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So true! 🙂
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I’m having the sense of Hugh Hefner here after the Playboy Mansion has been raided! So subtle and well-written until the last drop.
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Thanks Perry, glad it brought back memories for you. 🙂
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Hi Sandra, we got the same title. Our characters are collectors but not the same kind of collection. Yours is great!
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Thanks for dropping by Elizabeth. 🙂
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all I can say is that:
lips that touch liquor shall never touch mine
and the same goes for bloody or bloodless lips.
You got everyone’s minds going on this one. Randy
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Thanks for dropping by – sorry to be so late saying so. 😦
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Gorgeous gorgeous writing Sandra. Women are like good wine… a wonderful analogy.
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Thanks Jessie, glad you liked it. Sorry I’m late saying so.
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“When I was 21, it was a very good year.” Kind of reminds me of the song, in a way, Sandra. Of course, I have a feeling that there’s more to it than that, but STILL a wonderful piece of writing for all of us to enjoy. Thank-you!
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Thanks Kent. I loved that song…
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Describing the wine in bottles to make us think they are young women, describing this desire to taste them, only to have them snatched away… and then the switch showing his indifference to his actual girls.
Nicely done.
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Thank you!
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I immediately thought vampire, but you know me 🙂
In any case, looks like he waited too long. It must be terrible for him after all the anticipation to lose out to a bunch of scruffy Johnny-come-latelies.
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I didn’t see the vampire connection, but it works… 🙂
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Good one Sandra! 🙂 Loved it!
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Thank you.
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A disturbing story. I’m really glad he lost everything at the end, and I like how you’ve offset the darkness of the story with your understated conclusion.
Marg
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Thanks Margirene (love that name). Sorry I’m late acknowledging.
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Disturbingly and subtly clever, with circles of light and fingers of shadow. Always a joy to read your work!
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Thanks Joanna, glad to have you come by.
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*shudder* love how you likened girls to bottles of wine.. what a creepy character. can’t believe he’d wait that long and watch them “ripen”
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Creepy is good. 🙂
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Great story! The extended metaphor was powerfully written!
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Thank you! 🙂
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That was a disturbing, sensual, strange, discomfiting story! Beautifully written and compelling in a dark way. I loved it!
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Two Dawns thought it was a vampire story and I’m left still not sure what I missed… I’ll have to come back and read all the comments. I know there are much sharper readers than me! But, I’m traveling again and hoping to just find enough time to read the stories!
This was amazing, Sandra. Mesmerizing story telling, I was totally caught up in the story and again found myself stunned that you can do what you do in 100 words! “Those long delicate necks … simply craving the touch of a discerning, caressing hand.” Gorgeous writing.
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Sorry to be so late acknowledging Dawn – last week was a bit of a rush for me and I’m just getting things sorted out now. Happy travels.
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NO worries, Sandra. We all do our best, and I have been so busy, myself, the past few months, that I never worry about anyone els and how they respond. 😉 Thanks for taking the time.
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Dear Sandra – He is a creep and comparing women to the long neck wine bottles – you are so brilliant. Enjoy the winter – there is a lot to look forward to in the winter – cuddling, bonfires, wine, Christmas, snow and snow angels. You’ll keep busy with a good book and a warm blanket. Have fun – it was fun traveling around with you this summer (with your pictures) and so interesting! Thanks! Nan 🙂
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I’ll do my best. I’m not a winter person though. Thanks for dropping by Nan, always a pleasure to see you on here.
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Should have enjoyed them while he had the chance! Well written.
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Yes, sometimes you just have to get on with it… 🙂
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I got a little chill, reading about him! Somehow, I don’t have much sympathy for his loss…
The way he equated the wines with women…great analogy, but a little on the creepy side. He probably should have enjoyed them while he had the chance.
Well done!
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I enjoyed this, written as a connoisseur…and leaving the reader with just enough intrigue. I noticed in your profile you enjoy French bread, Formule 1 and animals…I would add cheese of any kind in my favs too:)
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