Copyright: The Reclining Gentleman
In my years as William’s political aide, I’d mastered detachment… totally.
As he approached, I turned to gaze across the lake. His wife’s arm was tucked in his; they’d made a fine couple, aging gracefully.
My lunch-date was usually late; but not this time.
“Mother!”
I glimpsed William’s stunned astonishment, mirrored in the face of his wife. And my approaching son.
The resemblance between both men was remarkable, the same aquiline nose, the head of thick, glossy raven hair.
The mallen streak was, however, conclusive.
The three of them stared at each other.
I returned to my study of the lake.
I wrote this as a banker first thing, in the hope that some better inspiration would emerge. It didn’t, and I can’t sit at my laptop any longer (bad back) 😦 so this will have to do for this week’s Friday Fictioneers. Thanks once again to Rochelle for her engagement over the last two years, and we look forward to her third year in office.
castelsarrasin 
Dear Sandra,
There’s detachment and then there’s…I read this twice and I may have to go back for a third read. I can just see the shock on all faces. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Two reads is good, three reads… well! 🙂 Thanks for commenting Rochelle.
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Dear Sandra,
Masterfully plotted and expertly written. The detachment described in the opening is perfectly exhibited in the conclusion, while the whole tells another story entirely.
Thank you for teaching me about Mallen streaks as well.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thank you Doug for reading and commenting. Two of our left-wing major figures (well one of them a former political figure now making his fortune on your side of the pond) have a Mallen streak – the Milliband brothers. I notice Oscar Pretorious has one too.
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I love the concept of this story, but I’m a little confused as to who is related to whom… I’ll have to read it a few more times I think 🙂
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Hope you got there in the end Jessie. I notice from subsequent comments that one or two were puzzled.
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Intriguing story, I must say that is one awkward family reunion.
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Yes, I expect the more interesting story would be about the aftermath! 🙂
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I love the whole detachment tone in this and how coolly she lets father and son meet. I think there’s a lot more going on under the surface of this woman. Wonderful.
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Yes, I’m not sure of her motives myself, Claire. 🙂
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Surprise! So well-written. I can picture in my mind the next scene!
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Now that would make a good story. Thanks for reading.
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Sandra, there are reasons for detachments, but are cases where it will end.. I guess breathing deeply looking at the pond is needed before the explosion…
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Yes, I think a distraction here is in order Bjorn. Thanks for reading.
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LOVED this one, Sandra. So glad you decided that this one “will have to do.” Yes, indeed.
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Thanks for reading and commenting Barbara, glad you could stop by.
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Clever story, wonderfully crafted.
Excellent.
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Many thanks, Elephant. 🙂
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Whoops! Sound like a vignette taken from an intriguing novel, Sandra. Both she and you set things up admirably.
janet
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Thanks Janet, good to have you back.
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Sandra, Great story. I guess that settled it. I also can see the shock on their faces. Well written as always. 🙂 — Susan
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Thank you Susan, hope all is well.
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Detachment is one thing and perhaps the father and his wife deserved learning about his son this way but I am not sure it was fair to the son. I feel for him.
With that being said I will say “good job” because if you can get your reader to feel for one of your characters with only 100 words, well then, good job!
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Thanks for empathising, Dawn! I’m honoured. 🙂
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It can happen; detachment, eh? Keep studying the lake.
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Thanks Patrick. 🙂
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Always enjoy your writing, Sandra. However, I must confess to some confusion as to who has just turned up i.e. who said ‘Mother’?
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On another re-read I think I may have got it 🙂 The Aide is a woman, and she and William had a child together? My problem was I assumed the Aide was a man. No wonder I was confused.
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That’s it Paul. I think it was a little more obvious before I whittled it down from 112 words.
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You’ve captured her detachment perfectly… so cold!
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I suspect she’s a piece of work. 🙂 Thanks for reading.
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You portray a wonder, strong woman who has calmly accepted what has happened in her life. Well done.
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Thanks Alicia. She certainly had a personality, for me.
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Total detachment is right, I guess. 🙂 I like the last line, just looking out at the lake despite everyone’s shock. Just to confirm, William’s wife’s son is the narrator’s date, right?
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Sorry David; the narrator (a female) had an affair with the politician whilst she worked with him. Realising he’d probably never leave his ‘fine’ wife she cut her losses without telling him she was pregnant with his son- detaching herself from the situation. I had it in 112 words and the subsequent cutting may have caused some puzzlement. It’s certainly raised the question of whether she engineered the chance encounter, which wasn’t what I intended but which sounds quite interesting. Thanks for reading.
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Gotcha. That would be quite the awkward chance meeting. I would want to stay on the sidelines of it as well and just look out on the lake. 🙂
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No need to apologize for this offering, Sandra. Beautifully told! And thanks for the link about the mallen streak. I hadn’t realized it was hereditary, but several of my male cousins (related on both sides) have this physical trait. The detail sits in contrast to the ordinariness of the scene in the picture. Nicely handled.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Thanks Marie Gail. Sometimes I wonder whether a relatively ‘bland’ photo doesn’t lend itself to wilder imaginings. Thanks for reading.
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I think it helps that this photo has a lot going on in it–the human in the foreground, the swans that are barely visible, the bench, the clouds, the water, the island, the woods. It seems our writers this week are doing a good job of noticing different elements and playing to them. That’s part of what makes this exercise so fun.
MG
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Great twist to the story, Sandra. And you’ve solved a mystery for me. I first noticed those white patches in men’s hair about six months ago. Now I see them everywhere. I even wondered, dumbly, if it was a new hair style. Thanks for solving that and for the great read.
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Hi Karen, yes, as I mentioned above, our prospective Labour leader Ed Milliband and his brother David both have them, and Oscar Pretorious too, I see. Thanks for reading.
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Detachment sometimes takes the form of, “Oops”.
A lake study also helps.
Wonderfully told tale.
Randy
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When you’re in trouble… study the lake. 🙂 Thanks Randy.
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I really like the voice of the narrator. She absolutely has mastered detachment. I’m wondering if she didn’t actually intend the meeting to take place, given that she expected her son to be late. I really like this; there’s so much story in there.
Marg
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I think that’s quite an interesting angle too Margaret. It wasn’t what I intended, but after editing the piece does seem to suggest that. Thanks for commenting.
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Excellent story as always. I could feel the mounting tension right along with the detachment. And that doesn’t even make any sense!
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Sense is fine, mounting tension is better though. 🙂 Thanks for dropping by Perry.
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I always have mounting tension when I anticipate a lover coming by.
Then when it’s over i have mounting detachment.
BTW I used to be part of the rocky mountings; but that was when she threw me off.
And Perry, I agree, not everything makes any sense.
Like why she invited her son to lunch at a lake where her lover walks with his wife…
methinks she is a little detached in the head.
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Fantastic story Sandra! Such anticipation and building of tension. I wonder what will happen next? I will be thinking about this story long after I’ve read it – well done!
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Thank you Maree. Glad you liked it.
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Oops, someone’s been naughty! What a way for them to meet, though. I’m thinking maybe the politician has been annoying the narrator recently so she’s set this up 🙂
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It seems like she might be capable of that… 🙂
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Superb… The statements raised questions, the finale answering everything, but yet, leaving a question. Did they, really? No.. Yes, OMG !! Loved it.
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Glad you liked it. 🙂
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I had to reread a couple of times before the penny dropped. It’s hard to carry off in 100 words but you did it. I hope your back feels better soon.
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Glad you stuck with it. I think my back is recovering slowly now. Thank you.
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Hi Sandra, she is really practing detachment, letting go. Looking at the lake when an explosion is getting ready to happen, needs lots of detachment.
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Sometimes you just have to go somewhere else in your head… 🙂
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Simply excellent! As usual, you nailed it, Sandra. And of course am wondering what happens next!
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Thanks Joanna, whatever it is, I don’t think it will be pleasant… 🙂
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Hmmm… I’m wondering if she set up the “chance” meeting. Well written.
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It’s well within her capabilities I fear. Thanks.
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Liked it! Very surprising end!
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Thanks Alex. 🙂
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a bit intreguing
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Thank you 🙂
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She definitely has mastered detachment. I think this chance meeting was bound to happen at some point. I can just picture it happening at a place like this. Thanks for the link on mallen streak. That’s pretty fascinating stuff. Excellent, Sandra!
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Thanks Amy. I’m glad I put the link in – I thought people would know about that feature but apparently not.
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Ok – I’ll admit it took me a few reads, but when I got it… Nicely done, I see a difficult conversation ahead 🙂
Engaging story, and nice characterisation.
KT
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I think it was clearer at 112 words. Trouble is, when you know what you intended to convey, you sometimes don’t readily see that it’s become less clear after editing. Thanks for sticking with it.
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It was clever – I could blame my comprehensive difficulties on my distractions – i mean my children 🙂
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What did I just read ? … when back to read it again … and Yep, That’s what I read alright.
Well written shocker.
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Thank you Mike! 🙂
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Dear Sandra, Well written and clever! The wife will be surprised, probably, and the son extremely surprised. What a mess her detachment has caused. Maybe she should change her secretive ways. Very well done Sandra – I am impressed! Nan 🙂
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Thanks Nan. Have a good weekend.
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I had to read this several times to understand all the players and their roles. And why were you hesitant about posting this??? I loved the turn of events!
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Very well done on including so many characters in such a short piece. I would love to read what happens to all of them during the next five minutes.
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Whoops! Shockwaves felt across the lake, surface choppy.
Well written. I almost felt like disappearing into a hole on behalf of certain people.
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Well done, really liked this Sandra.
I loved the serialisation of Catherine Cookson’s novel ‘The Mallen Streak’ you have captured some of the tension of that with your piece.
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Very well written Sandra. Calculative detachment.
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Sounds like detachment is something she learned later in the game of life…
Ellespeth
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I loved this. The strangest thing though is that my son has that steak of white hair… And we had no idea it was genetic. I wrote about it at http://travelswithmyson.wordpress.com/2014/08/06/i-love-you-i-love-you-i-love-you/. Thank you so much for solving one of many mysteries 🙂
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