Copyright Douglas M MacIlroy
The shopping mall floor chills Emily’s scalp but she doesn’t care, she’s transfixed by the circle of faces above her.
Black eyes glitter, pointed ears relish the moans she cannot silence. Ever closer their narrow snouts loom, sniffing her distress with low rumbles of interest.
Flashing lights assail her eyes.
Her coat is ripped open, crossed hands pump rhythmically at her narrow chest.
Something flickers deep within; the onlookers fade away.
“Who were they?” she asks, dazed.
“Jackals,” the paramedic growls.
Turning to his colleague, he shakes his head.
“What kind of vermin, for chrissakes, takes selfies at a time like this?”
Another grim week around this world; it seems there’s no end to the despair that human nature can generate. This week’s submission for Friday Fictioneers was prompted by background scenes in the television coverage of these events.
On a lighter note however, I had the best birthday ever on Monday when I picked up my monthly copy of Writers’ Forum, (one of two best-selling magazines for writers in the UK), to find that I’d won the previous month’s competition for a 400 word story written entirely in dialogue. If you’d like to read it click here: The Chill Factor
Thanks once again to Rochelle for her unwavering service to our little community, and for the support and encouragement she dispenses.
castelsarrasin 
First congratulations again on winning the competition..
Your story is like ripped right out of the head-lines.. still the concept of selfies at a moment like this make it even more gruesome… vermin, jackals… yes the human kind is really the worst I think.
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Thanks Bjorn. Yes, I don’t think we can give ourselves any credit for the way we behave sometimes.
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Dear Sandra,
You’ve captured my love of Christmas shopping. (Just about any kind of shopping.) 😉 People are vultures. The perfect story for this delightful prompt.
Congratulations on The Chill Factor…well deserved and happy birthday.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. On all counts. 🙂
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Yippeeee ! Congrats Sandra – that’s an awesome feat !
…and this story is surely “chill”-ing too …
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Thank you! 🙂
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That’s fantastic, well done!
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Thank you. Loved your take on the prompt this week. Subtle.
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Dear Sandra,
And it’s only going to get worse….
Great story for our times…and remember,…as Carly Simon used to sing,…’these are the good old days’.
Aloha,
Doug
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I love an optimist (tongue in cheek). It’s a good job you don’t live nearer, we’d scare each other to death.
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I guess you’re referring to the siege in Sydney – awful. But still, a great story. I liked how you put us in a different place and then brought us (and her) back to reality.
Claire
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Yes, I caught a glimpse of the onlookers on Sky News. Duh! Thanks for reading Claire.
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Oh … and I see the light! I loved the story in the sense it was really well written and created the right amount of anxiety in so few words … but I couldn’t figure out what it was about. That seems to happen so often in the U.S. … seems like some sort of viral infection. I hadn’t heard the news here in Italy.
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Congratulations Sandra!
Unsettling tale but ripe for the times. Very well done.
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Thank you, good to see you back this week.
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I hate the realization that this would be true to a much larger extent than I’d hope. The self as center-of-the-universe has only gotten worse, at least it seems so to me, and the internet allows that to be shared everywhere. OK, I’ve thoroughly depressed myself with that. Thanks a lot for starting that train of thought!! 🙂 So well done once more, both here and in your winning story.
janet
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You can always count on me for a Pollyanna outlook, Janet. S’what I do. 😉 Thanks for reading.
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Another outstanding tale! Speaking of chilling, as you know, I’ve already read “The Chill Factor” and it is haunting. You rock, Sandra! You really do.
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Thank you Barbara. I loved your photograph this week, kiss curls and all. 🙂
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Later in the comments thread, we got to talking about the potential novel lurking within. And I mentioned your name as somebody I would love to see write a story inspired by whatever part of the photo tickled your fancy. That girl on the floor on the lower left?
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The haunted, brooding one? Yes, she caught my eye. A girl with an agenda, I thought…
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Yes, exactly her. Oh, the story you could tell!
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Congrats on your writing accomplishment and your 100 words here which are chilling and poignant.
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Thanks Dawn! 🙂
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Excellent piece of writing, and a sad reflection of humankind.
And AnElephant loves your prize story, well done.
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Thank you Elephant. 🙂
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this too is dark
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Dark is what I do. 😉
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This is something else, you blew me away with your story. Congrats on your success.
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Many thanks!
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Fantastic way of transporting us right into the character and showing a scene from a different POV. I liked the social commentary too.
And congratulations on your competition win and publication! No small beer, that.
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Thanks Jen, and congratulations on your news too!
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Sandra, Congratulations on your winning story! I read it and can see why it won. In the Friday Fictioneer story, those are the same kind of people who stop to look at acciidents on the highway without helping and block firestrucks at fires. Good and well-written story as usual. — Susan
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Yes, I’ve never understood that aspect of human behaviour. Thanks for visiting Susan.
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Sandra,
I enjoyed the story but got a little confused by the pointed ears and narrow snouts. After rereading twice and browsing the comments, I wonder if I’m just a little dense. I read the story as though there were somehow dogs in the mall, but at the end it seems as though they are humans–posable thumbs for taking selfies and all.
Anywho, there does seem to be no end to the terrors of a shopping mall, with or without wild dogs inside them. I’ve sworn off such places for the holidays–and almost any other time for that matter.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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The clue, I think, is in the word ‘jackals’ uttered by the paramedic. I’ve often thought how onlookers might look to the poor victim in their overwrought state. And I share your sentiments about shopping malls at this time of the year Marie Gail. Thanks for dropping by.
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First! Congratulations and well done.
Now about your story. You really caught the disjointed feeling a situation like this must bring. And the selfie thing – Brilliant.
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Thanks Alicia! 🙂
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I personally do not like selfies. But it is humorous to think that someone would take one in a situation like that. The few selfies that I do take are on sale on my FACEBOOK page if you are interested though it is hard to tell my face from the rest of the jackals. Randy
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On sale hey? Don’t put yourself down like that Randy. 😉
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Ah yes, the tragedy selfie. I remember when I thought the worst regular people could do was rubberneck at a car crash… Then again, it doesn’t surprise.
Having her seeing the literal Jackals – perhaps the people as they really are – was inspired. Loved it.
KT
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I’ve often wondered what onlookers look like, to the poor people who are going through their personal traumas. And the word jackals frequently springs to mind. 😦 Thanks for dropping by KT.
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Congrats for your award! Well deserved … 🙂
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Thank you!
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Great social commentary, and well done on the award!
I love the description of the people staring down at her.
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Thanks. It came to me as I wandered through our local shopping centre last week … 🙂
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Congratulations! That is quite an honor. I didn’t really understand what was going on in your story until I read your background of it. I then went back and read it again and realized it was outstanding – showing the true nature of some non-compassionate humans.
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Thanks for persevering. 🙂
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You are absolutely right, it has been a terrible week for news, apart from ‘i’ll ride with you’ it has made miserable reading and listening. I can’t believe people have been taking selfie’s amidst all this carnage. Your story is excellent and I like that you have made this point through this medium. Well done 🙂
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Many thanks! Glad you liked it.
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A clever idea to take the victim’s point of view. Your title is very apt; it shows how the focus of the ‘jackals’ is totally on themselves. A timely piece – the siege in Sydney was very close to home for me. My niece had to be evacuated from a nearby building and my nephew was also locked in his workplace until the police said they could go. Terrifying. Congratulations on your story win. I love the story.
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I’m glad things worked out OK for your family. We watched it on Sky News over here and it was very real for us as we’d been to Martin Square for coffee when we were in Sidney some time back. Thanks for reading the stories.
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Just another reason I Christmas shop in mid-October… In a world where selfies rule, I am a peasant. I enjoyed !
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Me too! But there’s a lot I don’t understand these days…
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Don’tcha know it! Me too!
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it’s an all too familiar black friday scenario in the states when shoppers rush like crazies to the stores for bargains.
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Too right! Thanks for reading.
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Huge congrats on winning the competition! That is wonderful!
On another note, that image of jackals is going to haunt me for a while.
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Thank you! Yes, I found the jackals a bit disturbing to write about.
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Great piece, so much happening. I like how you start with the perspective of Emily on the ground. It’s both sad and disturbing what people can do. Congrats on the award! How exciting. You’re such a talented writer. It’s well deserved, Sandra.
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Thanks Amy, glad you liked it.
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Bravo. I loved it. That switch from gothic horror to smart phone horror. Bravo.
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Smart phone horror is all around us these days. Thanks for reading Patrick.
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Really excellent response to the prompt, Sandra– And, I couldn’t agree with you more! The news is so depressing, but how people behave is that much more horrible.
Loved The Chill Factor. It took me a second, but as a fan of your writing and knack for suspense, I saw it coming… but loved the ride!
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Meant to add: Belated Happy Birthday and Mazel tov on the win! It was very well earned!
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Thanks Dawn. I guess my style is a bit predictable around here. 🙂
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The only thing predictable is the the talent you have, for writing an incredible story! But, as a fan of your writing, I knew you might take us somewhere very chilling. 😉
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Horrible week for our world and – as your story shows – it’s all just another selfie moment for some.
Congratulations on your story! I’ll pass by to read it over the week-end.
Ellespeth
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Thanks Ellespeth. Appreciated.
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This story reminds me of a cartoon I saw the other day. A person was drowning and screaming for help. On the shore stood fifteen people with cell phones taking pictures to post on Facebook, all too busy to dive in and save the victim. It says a lot about our world today, doesn’t it?
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It does indeed Russell… and you see it so often. Thanks for dropping by.
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Hi Sandra
Belated Happy Birthday!
Congratulations on your win – very deserved it was too, such a great story, like your story this week for FF.
I too saw the ‘selfie-takers’ and thought how low they had stooped, enough about them they don;t deserve the space!
Dee
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Thank you Dee. I’m glad you saw it too – I thought I must be dreaming when the camera panned across the crowd. And thanks for reading The Chill Factor – I was over the moon with that.
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Chilling little story – and congratulations on your birthday and the win!
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Thank you Liz – on all counts. 🙂
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Congrats on the win! You words here are so relevant!
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Thanks BA! 🙂
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Hahaha! Bull’s eye! All that crying and carrying on and the kids were even worse.
Five shopping bags!
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Buy one get one free! 🙂
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Happy birthday, congratulations, and excellent work this week!
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Thanks Lisa. Almost time for FF to kick off again… how time flies.
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Congratulations. I’d like to have seen the expression on your face when finding out. Priceless!
Funny thing is I read one of yours and had to read another.
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