We played here as children.
Well, my sister played; I raced round corners frantically searching for her. She’d tell me she’d lost her way but I knew, even then, that the only thing she was trying to lose was me.
How things change…
A shadow falls across the path. It’s her. Again.
“Are you all right?”
I’m not, but I won’t be the one to say.
“I’ll always be here for you.”
Yeah, life’s a bitch like that.
“Did you take your meds this morning?”
“Yes.”
“You’re absolutely certain?”
I nod
Over and over again, sis. Sorry…
Well, I tried for a funny one this week, but nothing would spring to mind – just not in the mood I guess. Friday Fictioneers kicks off again with Rochelle in the driving seat. Thanks for the ride, Rochelle. 🙂
Dear Sandra,
That last line took a second but it got there. I think I’ll go swallow a pill or two now. Seriously well done. A novel told in a hundred words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Thank you Rochelle; glad you liked it. I was in two minds whether to post this one, but nothing else took its place. I guess it wanted out. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmm. Bittersweet, I guess. Not sure why, this felt like an Alzheimer’s story, with the sister jogging her memory about the maze, but other memories following with it.
LikeLike
Not Alzheimers, more depression. I like it when people see different possibiities with a story, though. Thanks for reading.
LikeLike
Once again, a good story, Sandra. Her sister came through when she was needed. A bit sad, but well done. — Suzanne
LikeLike
Thank you Suzanne. Glad you liked it.
LikeLike
It took me a couple of reads too but then I got it… how incredibly sad! Beautifully written. I love how your pieces challenge me Sandra (there’s still some of yours that will forever remain a mystery to me).
LikeLike
There are some that are still a mystery to me Jessie. 😉 Thanks for persevering. I don’t mean to be ambiguous.
LikeLike
A small tale of big human tragedy. So sad. Bring on the research and the cures.
LikeLike
Thank you Patrick.
LikeLike
Nice moody story!
LikeLike
Just that way out today! 🙂
LikeLike
Well done. Having had some experience with a relationship like this (then again I guess who hasn’t) the piece makes me very sad. The anger on one side the guilt and worry on the other…
LikeLike
Yes, sibling relationships don’t always run so smoothly. Thanks for reading Joseph.
LikeLike
Yeah, what Joe said ^^^
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I couldn’t help but think of “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane” with Bette Davis and Joan Crawford playing caretaker and invalid respectively while reading this. For a moment, I was afraid one sister might be bringing up the “rat under silver dome” to the other. But I see this version of a horror story might be even more scary.
LikeLike
Thanks for reading Barbara. I’d forgotten about that scene. Thanks. 😉
LikeLike
I might have misunderstood this a little.. but I recently read Amy Bloom’s “SIlver Water”, and this is where this story took me. The last line really took me there…
LikeLike
I googled it Bjorn; that’s an incredible story, and yes – that’s where the story was going. Thanks for the reference – that’s a keeper.
LikeLike
I found it on the internet and we used it in our course in creative writing.. and yes it is a keeper.
LikeLike
Sad, but so well written!
LikeLike
Thank you Caerlynn.
LikeLike
I felt darkness in this picture, too. So much emotion, give and take, resentment and love in this piece. Well done.
LikeLike
Yes it was a picture that seemed to beg for something darker. I tried to write something about an elderly relative wandering around the maze flashing at other visitors, but it just wouldn’t develop. Thankfully. 🙂
LikeLike
Oh, so much tragedy packed in so few words. I think I heard my heart breaking over the line “I’m not, but I won’t be the one to say.”, you brought tears to my eyes and that is not easily done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for reading, and sorry if it upset you. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
This tells a much bigger story. Well done for pulling it off in the word count.
LikeLike
I think it came in slightly under, which is something of a first for me. I’m usually two or three over, even after several parings.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great dialogue, both spoken and unspoken, really told their story. Sad that the sister didn’t do more instead of just making sure the tablets were being taken. Well done.
LikeLike
Thanks Dee. Sibling relationships can be difficult in some cases.
LikeLike
Love the bit:
‘She’d tell me she’d lost her way but I knew, even then, that the only thing she was trying to lose was me.’
Great line 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks Paul.
LikeLike
Dear Sandra, Lovely story! I am so very close to my sister and not as much with my brother – which I find sad sometimes. Great perspective and entertaining! Nan 🙂
LikeLike
I often wondered whether I would get on with a sister, if I had one. I have a brother – we fought like cat and dog.
LikeLike
Dear Sandra,
What a skillfully told story! I love the mix of happy and sad this prompt is inspiring. I’ve been in this particular maze before. You set the mood perfectly.
All my best,
Marie Gail
LikeLike
Thank you Marie Gail, glad you liked it.
LikeLike
Like you, I’ve had times when I really did want to write something different, but only one thing would come out. However, I have also had times when writing out the one thing that wouldn’t go away actually proved to be therapeutic for me in a personal way. It’s been amazing to see all the different takes on this one picture, and it’s been up for only one day.
LikeLike
Yes, I think it’s better to go with the flow. There have certainly been a number of diverse takes on the prompt.
LikeLike
Beautiful how you got the point across with the older sister. The younger sister turned into the older sister and vice versa. Very thought provoking for me.
LikeLike
Glad you liked it. 🙂 Thanks for reading.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It took me a couple of reads too, but I loved that I wanted to keep going back to it 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks Helen. Glad you persevered. 🙂
LikeLike
Siblings can be the most annoying person we know, or our greatest support. Something you’ve illustrated here perfectly.
LikeLike
At one and the same time Carol. 🙂 Thanks for reading.
LikeLike
Always a pleasure.
LikeLike
My heart hurts from this one. Beautiful.
LikeLike
Thank you! 🙂
LikeLike
touching, fetching, sad story of sibling love at its best and worst, I guess.
Randy
LikeLike
The sibling relationship can take many forms over time. Thanks for reading Randy.
LikeLike
nice story. i’m just a little confused that “Yes.” was not in italics. and should “I nod” be “She nod”? then again, perhaps i just missed something and need to reread it.
LikeLike
Hi Plaridel. Sorry if you found this confusing. The italics are thoughts, the others are spoken words. And it’s the the writer who nods, not the other sister. Thanks for reading.
LikeLiked by 1 person
got it. thank you.
LikeLike
You’ve really developed the contradictions in the sisters’ relationship. I think every big sister goes through a stage of not wanting the youngster around, but I can feel a closeness between them despite this – or maybe it’s just my rose-coloured glasses. A sad, but beautifully controlled story of the huge problem of depression.
LikeLike
Thank you Margaret. I think you’re right, relationships change and people within those relationships change. I was trying to show the change in both of the sisters.
LikeLike
a bit sad and dark
LikeLike
Thanks for reading.
LikeLike
A ghost story or a brother’s unresolved grief? Either way this was a beautiful story and a wonderful example of a 100-word piece of flash fiction.
LikeLike
Not a ghost story, though the narrator might shortly become a ghost… 😉
LikeLike
Sad story. My first idea was to write a story about someone trapped in their own head (so to speak), so we started off on similar lines.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was an interest prompt photo, wasn’t it? Thanks for reading.
LikeLike
Sad and mysterious, this definitely has a dark feel to it. Great use of dialogue in a great story.
LikeLike
Thanks for reading Rachel, glad you liked it
LikeLike
Very sad story. Hope she gets well. Masterfully crafted as always.
LikeLike
Thank you Perry! 🙂 I think unless her sister realises what the narrator has done with her meds, the chances of a recovery are slight.
LikeLike
I love this …well written. Thanks for sharing.
LikeLike
There is something unsettling about a mze, and also about this story. I’m not sure I understood it but it’s made me think.
LikeLike
Thanks for reading Liz. In a nutshell, relationships have changed, now the narrator isn’t chasing after her sister, she wants to be left alone with her depression, and may well have just taken her ‘meds’ over and over again in an attempt not to be bothered any more. By anyone. Depressing little tale, I know. 😦
LikeLike
Sometimes there’s a strange love/hate relationship among siblings. I’m not sure I’d want one of mine for a caretaker. I loved the response, “Yeah, life’s a bitch like that”
LikeLike
I too saw more darkness in the maze than light. Sisters … Such a special relationship but there’s always history.
LikeLike
Pills and depression can be a tough road. It’s hard to be on them forever, but some have to be. A really haunting one, Sandra.
LikeLike
Oh how sad, to always feel unwanted. Great story.
LikeLike
Sounds too late to be found. I’m left with the image of all possible paths being closed and I feel sad for both sisters.
Ellespeth
LikeLike
Well chosen idea… Well crafted story. So sad…
LikeLike
The last line took me a moment, too–a sad story. It carries weight!
LikeLike
You describe well the complex psychology of the sibling relationship, which, on the surface, appears love/hate, or even hate/hate, yet when ‘trouble’ comes, is revealed as love/love. In 100 words, impressive writing. 🙂
LikeLike