“In my day,” said Sandra, peering at the magazine over Doug’s shoulder, “an arse that size would be considered a deformity.”
“In your day, Sandra, an arse that size would have been concealed beneath a bustle.”
The two care assistants looked up from serving breakfasts.
“I think they’re getting along better, don’t you?”
“The ice is melting, certainly; hard to believe she flushed his dentures away the day he arrived.”
“Or that he sawed the leg off her zimmer frame.”
“They look so much younger now; d’you suppose they’re in love?”
“More like ‘in combat’ actually.”
“Same thing then.”
Starting next week I’ll be on the water for a while, and on a limited and frequently frustrating mobile connection. I hope to continue to participate, but I might not get round to quite so many submissions as I usually do. I will, however, endeavour to respond to all who visit and return the courtesy. Rochelle has a lot on her plate at the moment, so I’m especially grateful for the time she’s devoting to Friday Fictioneers. And special thanks to Doug for a photo prompt that’s bound to generate more than a few snowmen. 🙂
Dear Sandra,
Where’s the love icon when I need it? Great names for your characters. 😉
This is timely for me. The father of a lady I work with is in a home and he recently punched a female patient in the face.
You left me laughing. The title is perfect for the prompt.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle! 🙂 And I felt for your female patient. It’s so much harder to duck when you’re older.
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This made me smile. A great start to the day. Thanks.
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Thank you. 🙂
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Interesting take and very funny.
You see the Soviet border and I see telescopes! This week is going to be lots of fun here.
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I’ve been waiting for a giant snowman but nobody seems to be going in that direction…
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Hysterical! I wonder where he’ll hide his new dentures…or will he just go toothless?
A truly inspired story.
Have fun on the water, Sandra!
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Thanks Jan. Yes, you sure as hell wouldn’t want the old ones back would you?
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This is too funny, especially the names. Loved it!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Love it!
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Thank you. 🙂
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This is great, very funny. I wonder if there is any (future) truth in it?
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I can think of nothing worse than communal living in old age – so I hope not, Claire.
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Brilliant – and loved the names used 🙂
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Thanks! 🙂
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Funny story, Sandra. I also loved the characters’ names. Loved also the fact that this Doug wears false teeth. Enjoy your time on the water. 😀 — Suzanne
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Thanks Suzanne. Have a good summer.
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From the title, to the names and the story this had me smiling. An enjoyable read that had a ring of truth about it. I’ve worked in a few aged facilities and I could tell a story or two. Have fun on the water. Summer has obviously arrived over there. 🙂
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I used to visit from time to time; there was always plenty of writing fodder to be found there. 🙂
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Wherever there are people there is fodder. 🙂
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Thanks for the chuckle. What a great story for this stormy prompt.
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Thanks Caerlynn! 🙂
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Thanks, Sandra. I’m happy you enjoyed it. See you next time!
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Love and combat.. sometimes its the same thing.. love the image of dentures and zimmer frames, more like kids on the schoolyard (when love was more like teasing).
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Full circle, I think, Bjorn. 🙂
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Thanks for the chuckles and enjoy that travel!!
janet
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Will do travel. Take care, Janet.
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I’m smiling. Nothing like a good row to keep life interesting. I love the characters in your stories.
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Thank you Tracey. 🙂
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I wonder why the characters in the story feel so familiar… 😉 Still Laughing …Good fun read.
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Thanks!
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Sandra,
Humor seemed an appropriate place to go with this prompt, and you served up a great one. Here’s hoping our heroes can work it out before they wind up six feet under.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Better get a move on then… Thanks for dropping by Marie-Gail.
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OH WOW! Just Wow! I couldn’t possibly say it any better than all these earlier commenters. So, so, so funny — and so creative — and so realistic. Of course, the names were the icing on the cake.
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Super nice header photo, by the way.
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Thanks Sandra. 🙂
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On both counts. I like to change the header with the seasons, but I was a bit late this year. 🙂
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Fantastic humour, love your take on the promp and the character names. I needed your words after writing mine thank you 🙂
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There’s always plenty of variety on FF. 🙂 Thanks for dropping by.
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Cute without being cutesy, Sandra, and like others I enjoyed the character names you’ve chosen. I will have to stop back in a week to see what The Iceman himself made of it 😉 Enjoy ‘messing about on the river’!
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Thanks Jennifer. Looking forward to being afloat again.
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They remind me of how kids tease each other on the playground. The meaner they were to one another, the more they liked each other. Some things never change.
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Hi Barbara, yes, I think life goes full circle… 🙂
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future shock. 🙂
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I think I probably will aim to shock in the future. 🙂
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Love it. Also learned what a zimmer frame is in Britain.
Sandra and Doug on my kind of people.
Where is this nursing home so I’ll know where to put myself later. Well, not much later.
Randy
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I’ll speak to Matron and see if she can squeeze another body in… Thanks for dropping by.
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Hysterical Sandra. I think I know these people!
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I think you do Joseph. 🙂
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🙂
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So much to love here, the names of course, the word arse makes me laugh as well as bustle. Yes, I am that immature. 🙂
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I know what you mean Dawn. I considered an alternative word, but stuck with my original concept. Thanks for dropping by.
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“They look so much younger now; d’you suppose they’re in love?”
“More like ‘in combat’ actually.”
“Same thing then.”
Perfect description! I smiled my way through — like the mention of bustle (I like history!)
Enjoy your summer on the water!
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I did wonder about using ‘bustle’. Thanks for visiting and commenting.
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Funny! A little glimpse into the future? I loved your last two lines.
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I don’t see myself making old bones. Well not too old, anyway.
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Oh I do like this. Such fun and great to read about the good life ahead. So positive!
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It’s as good as it’s going to get, I think. 🙂
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Love, like the light breaking across the snow!
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🙂 Thanks for reading.
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Ha! Ha! This was brilliant. I presume no Dougs were harmed during the writing of this story.
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🙂 🙂 Wouldn’t harm a hair of his head. Thanks for reading.
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I like the quirky take on the photo!
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Thank you!
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I’m hoping to chill in my old age – but I think your cold war scenario is much more likely.
Have fun on the water. Your comments are always astute and appreciated.
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Thank you! I’ll try to have fun. Got to drink all that French wine first though. Gah!
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A very funny take on the prompt!
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Thanks Francesca. 🙂
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Great take on the prompt. Your story made me smile. 🙂
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Thank you. 🙂
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Love this one! Made me smile, thank you 🙂
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Thank you. 🙂
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HAHAHAHAHA! I think I could see who these “characters” could be played by, don’t you?
You got it going, Sandra! Five ice cubes! 😀
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Light on the tonic there Kent. 🙂 Good to see you around.
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Dear Sandra, You are clever indeed! I love summer and I love your characters! Just great! Nan
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Thanks Nan. Have a great summer. 🙂
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So funny. I wish Doug and Sandra well – I’m sure they’ve got enough of a spark to keep them firing in any cold war. Brilliant dialogue.
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Thanks Margaret. 🙂
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Ha! That conversation at the start was gold 🙂
Cute story, well done.
KT
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Kardashian inspired…KT. 🙂 Thanks for reading.
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I picturing Doug without teeth looking like Gabby Hayes 🙂 This is hilarious, Sandra.
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I’m going to pretend I don’t know who Gabby Hayes is. And you’re going to pretend you believe me… or else. 🙂 Thanks for reading Russell.
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Dear Sandra,
Love, love, love it. I’m in love with you, too. You are always able to take an obscure prompt and bring a story to life to fit it. Wonderful description of love.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thanks Doug. I was beginning to wonder if I’d offended you. 😉 You provided great inspiration this week. But then you do every week.
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Great story Sandra, made me smile. I hope when I get old I find this nursing home!
PS Belated congratulations on your winning story in Writing Magazine.
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Sounds like fun. And thank you – it was thrilling to win, but the correct name would have been the icing on the cake. They’re printing a correction next month. 🙂
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I’m with you on communal living…
Great take on the prompt,how you got there amazes me.
Well done and ‘Bon Voyage’ will keep in touch.
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Thanks Dee. And thanks for keeping an eye on the mags while I’m away. I really appreciate it.
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Very creative interpretation of this photo. Love it!
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Thank you Lorna! 🙂
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🙂
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Oh great humour, made me smile.
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Thanks Sally. 🙂
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A very funny scene with great dialogue, Sandra. I love the antics described.
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This was a fun read. Thanks for the laugh 🙂
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Sandra! What a delightful take on the prompt – and the title is pitch perfect.
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Thank you Alicia, I set great store by titles. 🙂
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This was wonderful, I’m still laughing. Great story, and enjoy being on the water.
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Thank you! Enjoy your summer.
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Never happier than when they’re fighting!
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Spice of life, I think. 🙂
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Oh, Rochelle summed up everything I wanted to say… Fun read.
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Thank you!
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This is positively BRILLIANT! My favorite of all the stories I’ve read from this prompt so far. Well done. I love all of it!
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Many thanks! 🙂
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“Same thing then.”
That ending line makes this a perfect story, congratulations!
Tay.
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Thank you.
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Love, combat…same thing? This is hilarious and interesting name choices here. I wonder what the inspiration was? Ha ha. Very original take and well written, as always.
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Thanks Amy. Glad you liked it.
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Love and combat blooming at the nursing home. Ever amazing. Enjoyed this story, Sandra.
Safe travels,
Ellespeth
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Thanks Ellespeth. In France now and rarin’ to go… 🙂
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yes, at some stage being in love is actually no different from being in combat
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Sometimes I think that might be true right at the beginning… and again right at the end. 🙂 Thanks for visiting.
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Sorry I’m so late to the party this week, Sandra, but all kinds of snafus to work around! Safe travels– I so enjoy imagining you on these lovely journeys. They sound truly magical.
This piece is really crisp and real. I work at hospice, and deal with a lot of folks who arrive from the local nursing homes. This is a wonderful sliver of what I see all the time. I have no idea why this photo took you there, but I loved the pace and human feel to it. Wonderful! Bon voyage!
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the dialogue… loved it.
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