Only Words (Friday Fictioneers, June 2015)

 

 

copyright Raina Na

Your words are scattered like ice-shards on our bed.

People change… no-one’s fault…

They fall to the floor as I smooth the sheets, and I nudge the fragments beneath the bed.

I pluck my words from the pillow slipping them into my apron pocket.

Please don’t do this… please…

In the kitchen I shake your words from the tablecloth, as the dog snuffles amongst them, foraging for truths and toast-crumbs.

No-one else… well, no-one special anyway…

And on the dusty garage floor, I kneel to gather the words frozen to your lips.

Please don’t do this… please …

They’ll stay with me,  forever maybe.


I loved this kitchen the first time around; it has that ‘lived-in’ feel to it that you don’t see in today’s kitchens.  I think I might have written something lurid for this picture the last time around, something involving the unorthodox use of the kitchen table.  Either that or something whimsical relating to a grandmother – the pendulum of inspiration swings to either end of the spectrum for me sometimes.  But there are so many Friday Fictioneers submissions in my files I can’t find either, so something new for this week.  Hope all goes well Rochelle.  And thanks again. 🙂

 

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

69 Responses to Only Words (Friday Fictioneers, June 2015)

  1. Dear Sandra,

    I love the metaphor in this. The image of the dog snuffling, foraging for truths and toast crumbs is brilliant. I get the feeling things didn’t end well for the husband. Well done as always and thank you for the well wishes.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  2. Danny James says:

    Welcome back! Sad and power full.

    Like

  3. ansumani says:

    Nicely done mystery and beautiful metaphors.

    Like

  4. Packed a punch with 100 words. Powerful and sad.

    Like

  5. Indira says:

    Hi Sandra! Excellent as usual and very different take also.

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  6. Oh.. we seemed to have been thinking along the same lines here.. Maybe you will have need for a batch of concrete that I have for sale.

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  7. It seems a mix of prose and poetry. Whatever, it works really well. And yes, great use of metaphor.

    Like

  8. Dave says:

    I don’t think its particularly sad; except maybe for him.

    Like

  9. Somehow I can hear the words clanging together, see them dissolving on the dog’s nose, feel them cold and moist on frozen lips. Well done.

    Like

  10. This reads like poetry. So eloquent and powerful. I’ve been there. I know the feeling and you captured it.

    Like

  11. plaridel says:

    excellent as always.

    Like

  12. storydivamg says:

    I love the gathering here, Sandra. Nice work.

    If you find the other one, be sure to post a link. I always “mean” to go back and read previous stories from the Fictioneers I’ve grown to admire, but somehow it doesn’t seem to happen. Could that have something to do with the busy nature of my life as a small-business owner or one of a hundred other things? Yes. Resoundingly, yes.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

    Liked by 1 person

  13. rgayer55 says:

    I loved this one, Sandra. I wrote a poem several years ago call The Seminar in which words were bouncing off people and walls and rolling across the floor, but they were mostly blah, blah, blah. You know how seminars can be. 🙂

    Like

  14. The kitchen feels lived in or died in depending on how you view it.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. wildbilbo says:

    Beautiful work with the fragments of words, snuffling for truths, frozen on lips… great.
    KT

    Like

  16. This is my favourite story of yours ever I think. Love it.

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  17. Wonderful writing, Sandra. You say so much with so few words.

    Like

  18. It was worth coming back for. I’m glad I remembered 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  19. DeeDee says:

    Beautifully Written

    Like

  20. Norma says:

    Wonderful read, Sandra. I loved the idea of words, crumbs, dog snuffling – the whole metaphor thing in the story. It couldn’t be said any better than “Only Words”.

    Like

  21. phylor says:

    Amazing way to use words. The story unfolds nicely. Really enjoyed the read!

    Like

  22. Brilliantly written.
    Love the way you let us hear the husband’s last words.

    Like

  23. draliman says:

    Very nice, I love the thought of words as something tangible.

    Like

  24. mjlstories says:

    Powerful image. Whoever said words will never hurt me was so wrong.
    Glad you wrote a new one – on the other hand I’d read a story, probably a novel, titled ‘unorthodox use of the kitchen table.’
    Now I did include a grandmother – there’s something about that kitchen!

    Like

  25. Amy Reese says:

    Excellent, Sandra. Love your words.

    Like

  26. Very powerful and emotional writing.

    Like

  27. Maybe after the words have all melted away (if she lets them) she will be better off. Great use of metaphors!

    Like

  28. erinleary says:

    Hauntingly beautiful. Loved the way you structured the story and how the desperation came through. Lovely!

    Like

  29. Sandra, you have a masterful way of making your metaphors so vivid and alive. I’ve always loved that about your writing. Wonderful story, as always.
    -David

    Like

  30. Liz Young says:

    I love the imagery in this – and the reprise of the words ‘please don’t do this’ is mastery!

    Like

  31. This images in this story portray so well the sharp cuts made by cruel words, when two people have fallen out of love. But I get the feeling, only the husband wants to play the game of wounding and she’s saying enough is enough, with her ‘please don’t do this’. Excellently written, as usual.

    Like

  32. Margaret says:

    Great use of metaphor, and I love the drama and suggestiveness of the ending. Great writing.

    Like

  33. subroto says:

    I loved the way this was done, with the words scattered around. And the deadly ending too.

    Like

  34. Nan Falkner says:

    AWESOME – just AWESOME! Nan

    Like

  35. afairymind says:

    Beautiful story. You say a lot in 100 words. 🙂

    Like

  36. i b arora says:

    nice play with words.

    Like

  37. Ellespeth says:

    Well this got me! The image of ‘truths and toast crumbs’ is one I particularly like – and that of words frozen to lips.
    Ellespeth

    Like

  38. Vinay Leo R. says:

    Different, interesting… a little mysterious… hmm! Excellent write.

    Like

  39. A masterful use of metaphor, Sandra. Looks like he pused her over the edge. Well written as always. — Suzanne

    Like

  40. I’m a little bit late to the party, but I loved how you interspersed the story with the mirrored conversation. Nicely done

    Like

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