Your words are scattered like ice-shards on our bed.
People change… no-one’s fault…
They fall to the floor as I smooth the sheets, and I nudge the fragments beneath the bed.
I pluck my words from the pillow slipping them into my apron pocket.
Please don’t do this… please…
In the kitchen I shake your words from the tablecloth, as the dog snuffles amongst them, foraging for truths and toast-crumbs.
No-one else… well, no-one special anyway…
And on the dusty garage floor, I kneel to gather the words frozen to your lips.
Please don’t do this… please …
They’ll stay with me, forever maybe.
I loved this kitchen the first time around; it has that ‘lived-in’ feel to it that you don’t see in today’s kitchens. I think I might have written something lurid for this picture the last time around, something involving the unorthodox use of the kitchen table. Either that or something whimsical relating to a grandmother – the pendulum of inspiration swings to either end of the spectrum for me sometimes. But there are so many Friday Fictioneers submissions in my files I can’t find either, so something new for this week. Hope all goes well Rochelle. And thanks again. 🙂
Dear Sandra,
I love the metaphor in this. The image of the dog snuffling, foraging for truths and toast crumbs is brilliant. I get the feeling things didn’t end well for the husband. Well done as always and thank you for the well wishes.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’m so glad all went well for you Rochelle. Loved your new picture. And thanks for reading and commenting.
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Welcome back! Sad and power full.
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Thanks Danny! 🙂
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Nicely done mystery and beautiful metaphors.
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Thank you! 🙂
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Packed a punch with 100 words. Powerful and sad.
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Thank you! 🙂
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Hi Sandra! Excellent as usual and very different take also.
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Thanks Indira. I appreciate your dropping by.
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Oh.. we seemed to have been thinking along the same lines here.. Maybe you will have need for a batch of concrete that I have for sale.
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I think the garage did need re-flooring, Bjorn. 🙂
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It seems a mix of prose and poetry. Whatever, it works really well. And yes, great use of metaphor.
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Thank you Patrick. 🙂
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I don’t think its particularly sad; except maybe for him.
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Yeah, men can be so picky about being offed. 😉
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Somehow I can hear the words clanging together, see them dissolving on the dog’s nose, feel them cold and moist on frozen lips. Well done.
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See, you’re doing it now, Alicia. 🙂 Thank you.
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This reads like poetry. So eloquent and powerful. I’ve been there. I know the feeling and you captured it.
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I hope he lived to tell the tale Lorna. 🙂
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Me, too!
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excellent as always.
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Thank you!
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I love the gathering here, Sandra. Nice work.
If you find the other one, be sure to post a link. I always “mean” to go back and read previous stories from the Fictioneers I’ve grown to admire, but somehow it doesn’t seem to happen. Could that have something to do with the busy nature of my life as a small-business owner or one of a hundred other things? Yes. Resoundingly, yes.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Dawn found it for me Marie Gail. ( stands back in awe of her perspicacity)
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I loved this one, Sandra. I wrote a poem several years ago call The Seminar in which words were bouncing off people and walls and rolling across the floor, but they were mostly blah, blah, blah. You know how seminars can be. 🙂
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I know exactly. Words like sleeping tablets…. zzzz
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The kitchen feels lived in or died in depending on how you view it.
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If you view it from the floor, I think you probably died in it. 🙂 Thanks for reading Joseph.
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Good point! 🙂
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Beautiful work with the fragments of words, snuffling for truths, frozen on lips… great.
KT
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Thanks KT.
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This is my favourite story of yours ever I think. Love it.
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Wow! Thanks. 🙂
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Wonderful writing, Sandra. You say so much with so few words.
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My husband wouldn’t agree with you, but I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
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😆
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It was worth coming back for. I’m glad I remembered 🙂
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I don’t know how you did that Dawn, but here it is: https://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/10/04/quintessentially-grandma-friday-fictioneers-october-2012/#comment-21123
Well done!
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Beautifully Written
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Thanks Dee. Hope all is well with you.
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Wonderful read, Sandra. I loved the idea of words, crumbs, dog snuffling – the whole metaphor thing in the story. It couldn’t be said any better than “Only Words”.
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Thank you Norma, glad you liked it.
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Amazing way to use words. The story unfolds nicely. Really enjoyed the read!
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Thank you Phylor. 🙂
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Brilliantly written.
Love the way you let us hear the husband’s last words.
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Thank you Elephant. 🙂
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Very nice, I love the thought of words as something tangible.
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Thanks 🙂
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Powerful image. Whoever said words will never hurt me was so wrong.
Glad you wrote a new one – on the other hand I’d read a story, probably a novel, titled ‘unorthodox use of the kitchen table.’
Now I did include a grandmother – there’s something about that kitchen!
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It seems I did write about a grandmother last time. Now I’m wondering where I wrote about unorthodox use of the kitchen table. Hmmm. 😉
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Excellent, Sandra. Love your words.
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Very powerful and emotional writing.
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Maybe after the words have all melted away (if she lets them) she will be better off. Great use of metaphors!
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Intense!
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Well done.
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Hauntingly beautiful. Loved the way you structured the story and how the desperation came through. Lovely!
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Sandra, you have a masterful way of making your metaphors so vivid and alive. I’ve always loved that about your writing. Wonderful story, as always.
-David
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I love the imagery in this – and the reprise of the words ‘please don’t do this’ is mastery!
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This images in this story portray so well the sharp cuts made by cruel words, when two people have fallen out of love. But I get the feeling, only the husband wants to play the game of wounding and she’s saying enough is enough, with her ‘please don’t do this’. Excellently written, as usual.
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Great use of metaphor, and I love the drama and suggestiveness of the ending. Great writing.
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I loved the way this was done, with the words scattered around. And the deadly ending too.
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AWESOME – just AWESOME! Nan
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Beautiful story. You say a lot in 100 words. 🙂
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nice play with words.
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Well this got me! The image of ‘truths and toast crumbs’ is one I particularly like – and that of words frozen to lips.
Ellespeth
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Different, interesting… a little mysterious… hmm! Excellent write.
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A masterful use of metaphor, Sandra. Looks like he pused her over the edge. Well written as always. — Suzanne
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I’m a little bit late to the party, but I loved how you interspersed the story with the mirrored conversation. Nicely done
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