Fit for Purpose – Friday Fictioneers, June 2015

Copyright Kent Bonham

“Why did you call me?”

My voice is harsh, not the reassuring, soothing tones I’d used as I hurriedly locked up the shop and hailed the nearest taxi.

Now he’s sitting up in bed, sipping the tea I’ve made for him, still grey, but not the ghastly pallor I’d seen when urgently summoned to his new apartment.

“I needed you,” he says.

But after calling the medics on his phone, I couldn’t resist checking his outbox.

“I love you,” he’d texted, “with all my heart.”

To her…

“Why didn’t you call her?”

The words hung, unspoken.

I didn’t want her to see me like this.

In the absence of any help from Google, I’ve decided to hedge my bets and construe this as a shop of some kind.  I await enlightenment from my cousins across the pond… 🙂  (And I chose to ignore the garlic as I’ve got an aversion to vampire stories.)  Thank you to Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers.  If I were a pedant I might just point out you were seven minutes late posting the link this morning.  Fortunately, I’m not…  😉

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
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73 Responses to Fit for Purpose – Friday Fictioneers, June 2015

  1. Dear Sandra,

    It is indeed a shop. the garlic was the chance I took. 😉

    As for your story…well done as always. Now that he’s feeling better I want to slap him.



    Liked by 1 person

  2. micklively says:

    Sorry, I went for garlic and vampires (well nearly).
    Good piece.


  3. Ouch.
    Superb slice of life.


  4. ansumani says:

    She should take a picture of him and text it to “her”….Nice story with true to life flawed characters.


  5. Caerlynn Nash says:

    Son of a …. I think I used those words on someone else’s story last week. 😉 Good story. I wasn’t sure what was coming.


  6. bykimberlylynne says:

    Garlic? Who needs it? You did a good job with the story behind the story. Excellent use of 100 words.


  7. k rawson says:

    I sorta hope he starts feeling worse. Great story.


  8. elmowrites says:

    She should have put something else in the tea, methinks… at the very least, some of that garlic to leave as bitter a taste in his mouth as hers.
    Fantastically done, as always – you’ve drawn two, maybe even three, clear and real characters here without ever stopping the narrative to tell us a thing about them.


  9. Lynda says:

    I am ever the odd duck, Sandra. I got to the end and felt his trust in her. He was OK to share how ill he was and know that she wouldn’t react badly to how he looked. Of course, now that I have read everyone’s comments I guess I should go back and read it again. 😉


  10. Wow, I think I know that feeling of being used.


  11. plaridel says:

    i don’t know what to make of him. he’s one of a kind.


  12. Nan Falkner says:

    Hi Sandra! I took the bait and went the vampire/garlic route. I didn’t read any other stories before I wrote mine. I love yours. You are so smart and talented – I know, I need to get a thesaurus and look up some new words for your outstanding abilities!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Excellent as usual. Your protagonist should get out of there and find a bar and a nice man to talk to.


  14. Nice bittersweet tale of the devoted but unappreciated one and the one who casually possesses what she desperately wants. Nicely developed to reach the realization of each character.


  15. I don’t like him at all. Not nice (him) but very nice (the story).


  16. Liz Young says:

    Oh! Excellent. A whole story in those brief sentences.


  17. Beautifully written story of an all too familiar feeling…no garlic needed!


  18. Oh.. Next time there is no need to come… maybe that’s the time he needs more than tea… and oh that absent mistress…


  19. phylor says:

    My comment seems to have been eaten. I didn’t notice the garlic, so perhaps the vampires are getting their revenge. Great story with well drawn characters with just the right amount of tension.


  20. Ha, I didn’t even see the garlic. I saw dark a street lit by neon. Well done, and yes a good slap or two, but not until he’s feeling one hundred percent. Cause I want the to echo!


  21. Francesca Smith says:

    Run, run as fast as you can in those situations.
    Great story, and even though hardly anything was given about their back stories, they seem to be very intricate characters.


  22. storydivamg says:

    Just lovely, Sandra. Good work. A universal theme told with a unique voice.

    Yes, I believe it is a shop of some sort, although it appears, to me, to be inside a train station. Sort of had me stumped too. In fact, I have yet to post my week’s story. The tale is still brewing in my brain. some of these take a little longer than others to birth themselves.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail


  23. draliman says:

    Nasty chap. Good story!
    I tried Google to see what “Trak” was and nowhere as well!


  24. Jan Brown says:

    Men are such immature a&&holes when they’re sick (and even when they’re not). Your story rings true in so many ways, which is what makes it a good read!


  25. Margaret says:

    He obviously trusts her and I can feel the bond there. Mid-life crisis? He wanted some excitement and was feeling bored? Silly man. You’ve shown so much in this scene. Wonderfully drawn characters.


  26. What a rotter. You have written such realistic dialogue and the characters. I’m after revenge.


  27. MissTiffany says:

    Jerk. He’s lucky she came. Not sure I would have…
    Great piece!


  28. I didn’t see the garlic! Why did she go to him? Good story.


  29. gahlearner says:

    I love the characterizations. She’s such a strong woman to his weak patheticness. And she’ll feel good for that in the end. I’m afraid the garlic was the only thing that gave me ideas, I had trouble with the prompt this week.


  30. wildbilbo says:

    This guy kinda reminds me of a person i know… what’s interesting is the untold story – now why he called her, but why she responded despite what she clearly knows.
    Well done.


  31. He doesn’t deserve her, or the other woman. Seriously! Ugh! But your writing, now that’s beautiful!


  32. Amy Reese says:

    The first time I looked at this picture, I didn’t even see the garlic. I will blame it on the screen I was looking at or it could be my eyes! I like the starting point of your story, her closing up her shop to take care of her sick partner. You took me to an expected place. As for the mistress, yeah, she only experiences the part he’s willing to show her, the fantasy. Not the real thing at all! Great take.


  33. rogershipp says:

    Nicely done. In relationships, we are all meeting different needs at different levels…


  34. subroto says:

    She needs the garlic to repel him. Wonderful play on the emotions in this one.


  35. Another well-written story, Sandra. Next time he calls she knows what to tell him. Lover boy needs to know exactly where he stands with the woman he favors. His instincts may be right and he’ll be left alone with his problems and no one who cares next time. 😦 🙂 — Suzanne.


  36. i b arora says:

    i like the way you concluded it, nice story


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