“You’re just trying to frighten me.”
“Yeah, an’ it’s dead easy, innit? You’re shakin’ like a leaf, sista.”
“I’m not.” She was though.
“I’ll tell people you my bitch if you do it.”
She glanced nervously into the tunnel. He’d been teasing surely, there was no such thing as ghosts, everyone knew. But she fancied she could hear shuffling…
He turned to leave, and desperately she stepped into the darkness.
Was that a giggle from the gloom ahead?
She looked back at his flushed, excited face, and continued to edge further.
Kenny’s girl… her heart swelled with pride.
Soon be through now…
I’ve taken a literal approach to the prompt this week, many will be relieved to read. 🙂 Thanks to Rochelle for officiating at the weekly gathering of Friday Fictioneers; hope everyone is enjoying as glorious a summer as we in Britain seem to be having right now.
Dear Sandra,
My mom used to say that women were saps for men. I hope Kennys worth the terror. You have me wondering how old these two are. I’m guessing quite young. Enjoyable read.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I think the answer is ‘old enough’, Rochelle. Thanks for reading and commenting.
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I can’t help but wonder why she wants to be his bitch.
Good piece.
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I think Rochelle’s mother (above) has the answer to that one Mick. 🙂 Thanks for reading.
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Your dialogue set the scene perfectly.
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Thank you Sally 🙂
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Dear Sandra,
I love walking in your world.
Aloha,
Doug
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A regular Pollyanna, am I not? 😉 Glad you’re out there, Doug.
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Doug, come back! We miss you! Dawn
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Great story. Being claustrophobic, I am more afraid of tunnels than I am of ghosts.
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I’m not wild about either, but I think I’d take the tunnel over the ghost. Thanks for reading.
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Love the contrasts of the fear, happiness, excitement with a tinge of sarcasm.. Lovely post.
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Thank you!
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I wonder if being Kenny’s girl is really worth the fear… Lovely tale, could feel the emotions. 🙂
Leo @ I Rhyme Without Reason
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I suspect there’s going to be a lot more to it than just a walk through a tunnel. 😦
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Enough perhaps to elicit a sequel?
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Ah, the romance, the romance. Love it.
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And who said romance was dead? 🙂 Thank you.
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Enjoyable little tale. As an aside I absolutely detest people using the word “bitch” to refer to a female. Not a crit of your story, more of the culture which deems it an acceptable part of language. See you next week 🙂
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I just hope that every now and then the guys can be scared of ghosts.. But I think they have to hide it better.
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I think you’re right Bjorn.
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So do I, but then I abhor quite a lot about the current yoof culture. I’m sure my elders felt the same about mine though. 🙂 Thanks for dropping by Paul.
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Well written, Sandra. I think I’d rather just get over Kenny. 😕
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Me too! Thanks for dropping by.
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Ah, young love. I hope she wises up on the other side of the tunnel, Sandra. Sounds like Kenny won’t be following her through it anyway!
You’ve done a fantastic job with these characters – I can see them both and feel for the girl in spite of her foolishness.
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As it’s you, Jen, I’ll spill the beans here 🙂 and it’s a tribute to the members of Friday Fictioneers commenting so far that they appear not to have detected the sinister side of this piece. It’s based on gangland culture. The shuffling and giggling in the tunnel are the other members of Kenny’s gang, which is why he’s getting excited. The poor girl is about to be initiated into the gang … hence the title. Too obscure for my own good again …
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Hmm… I actually feared that he was more sinister than just a bad boy from words like “my bitch”, but from her side I sensed young love or at least infatuation. Thanks for the explanation though, I hadn’t picked up on the others inside the tunnel… shudder.
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Oh how I wish I had read this before you commented to Jen!
No, not really.
Well, sort of.
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Sorry! 😦
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Haha, no need to be 🙂
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I believe in ghosts.
Glad she had the courage to make the trip despite her fear! 🙂
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Thanks Anita.
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I suspected something bad was waiting for her in there – and Kenny’s such a convincing portrayal of the arrogance and cruelty of the sub-culture you’ve shown here. Poor, poor girl – it’s tragic that so many young girls are so lacking in self-esteem that they go along with these rites of passage. Boys, too, I guess. Sad. Well told.
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‘Sub-culture’ is a great word for it Margaret. And I agree with every word you said. Thanks for dropping by.
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Great story.
The giggle in the gloom is the clue that she is in serious trouble.
Superbly constructed, and just open enough…
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Perhaps a tad too open, ceayr. A lot of people took it at face value. Thanks for dropping by.
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I wonder if he’s worth it? I can’t help feeling there’s a surprise waiting for her in the dark. Great story, very atmospheric!
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Thanks for reading and commenting. 🙂
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Happiness is rarely ‘at the end of the tunnel’s light’ … just enjoy the journey! Well done!
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Thank you Roger. 🙂
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Kenny’s a right tosser! But if she really wants him she shoud run through too fast for his mates to catch her!
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🙂 Good response Liz. 🙂
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I feel so sad for this protagonist. It sounds like she is making a bad decision for a bad reason (something many of us do from time to time!).
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So true! thanks for reading.
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Poor girl. She seems to have a poor self image to do anything for a boy who acts like that. He definietly doesn’t seem worth it. Well written yet again, Sandra. 🙂 — Suzanne
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You’re right Suzanne. Poor self image just about sums it up. Thanks for reading.
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I hope by the time she has finished crossing the tunnel she has found her self-worth to not want to be anyone’s bitch but her own. After all bitches are wonderful creatures, anyone who has owned a female dog will know. 🙂
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🙂 Thank you for reading. Yes, a bitch can be the best kind of friend.
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Sandra,
I know that feeling as the imagination creates things in the dark. Hopefully Kenny is worth it. Great story.
-David
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I suspect she’ll find he’s not, David. Thanks.
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To be so young and naïve. Poor girl has no idea what she’s heading into and I wish I could convince her not to!
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Thanks for reading Dale. 🙂
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Love, fear, happiness, fun all put tgether, nice take
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Thank you!
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Oh, there is more to fear than ghosts! Well written tale; all the warning flags are there. That giggle is surely attached to a body–not Kenny’s but a cohort’s–and one that could do her considerable harm before she flees out the other side. Poor girl will not want to be Kenny’s after that (I hope).
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Thanks for dropping by Jan. Yes, I hope she won’t want anything more to do with him.
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Somehow I don’t think Kenny’s worth the fear – nor any male who’d refer to a girl as ‘his bitch’. I’m also getting an uneasy feeling about the source of those giggles and shuffling feet… Great story. 🙂
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I think you’re right to be suspicious. 😦 Thanks.
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A horrible reality – slice of life, but well written. So sad!
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Just glad that that scenario is not, and never was, a slice of my life. Thanks for reading.
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Kenny set expecting so low – that she would be treated like a bitch – and how on earth that can be something to be proud of.
A lot of emotions in such a short stort. Well done.
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Many thanks Ansumani.
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Into the gathering gloom . . . I hope her journey is worth it. Great slice-of-life tale this week, Sandra.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Thanks Marie-Gail. 🙂
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Hi Sandra,
I really liked this story — it is real, with no other overtones, and very satisfying in its reality (although I don’t like the fact that she does what the guy wants, but alas, it’s all too true with so many girls!).
Vijaya
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How true. Thanks for reading.
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I think a ghost could be fun to talk to, certainly more fun than a dark tunnel. Women are saps for men!
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Thanks Samantha. 🙂
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Anything for love I suppose. Shuffling up ahead in a tunnel…uh, no thanks! I’d run the other way. Enjoyable read, Sandra.
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Me too, Amy. Thanks for reading.
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Sad that she’ll do something that she doesn’t want to do for a man who can’t care about how she feels. It has that ring of truth about it but hopefully she’ll learn better in the future.
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I hope so too Irene. Thanks for reading.
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I was looking forward to your story, Sandra–– it seemed perfect for your wicked twists and turns. Somehow, without driving the point all the way home, this still leaves me with chills. Nice job!
You seem to own that #1 spot these days! I’m impressed.
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When I read it, I thought Kenny was in league with a monster, ghost or something else supernatural, luring girls into the tunnel. Then I read your explanation, and that is even scarier. Kids don’t seem to have changed. Young love wants to impress, there’s competition, and it takes a while, regardless of the gender, until the kids are comfortable enough with themselves not to be taken advantage of. I guess many of us can relate. Great story!
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It’s a learning curve I guess. And for some the curve is going to be steeper than for others.
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was he worth the torture she suffered???
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Very definitely not, i b.
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You have a way of putting the point of the dagger right up to the reader’s chest, then allowing them to decide how far they wish to push it in. I admire that in a suspense writer.
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Every now and then Russell, someone reminds me what I’m doing, and how and why I’m doing it. Thanks for that comment – I appreciate it.
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Good story. I like the paranormal and it sounds like two normal teens daring each other. 🙂
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Thank you Susan.
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