Copyright Jennifer Pendergast
He’s shouting at her, as she stares blankly at the rope in her hands.
“Lasso the bollard, woman. Like I showed you.”
She closes her eyes and throws – to a sarcastic cheer.
Yessss!
Tying the rope off, she steps off the boat onto the lockside, encouraged that she can remember which buttons to press.
“Get back on board, cretin,” he shouts, as the lock begins to empty. “Untie your rope.”
Sod off, she thinks, walking away.
Glancing over her shoulder at the cruiser now dangling vertically from its bow in the lock, she concludes, with satisfaction, that the relationship may now have grounded.
I’m not sure whether you need to know about boating to understand this; I hope not. We’re back on the water now and heading upstream as I write, under cloudless blue skies with a chilly wind whipping across the river. Thanks to Rochelle the captain of the Friday Fictioneers ship for her continued selfless service.
Dear Sandra,
I love the boat terms, but I could pretty much figure it out. Should I feel guilty that I laughed at the end and felt somewhat triumphant for her? Nah. Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. My heroines almost always have the last laugh. Unless they’re dead ones, of course. 🙂
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I don’t know boating but it made perfect sense to me.
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Thank you for the reassurance. 🙂
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good on her. There is a tinge of realism in this. You haven’t done this in one of your many lock transits. 🙂
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Noooh, but sharp words have occasionally been exchanged. Least said, soonest mended Thanks for reading Irene.
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Ha, I almost imagine you have seen this happen.. locks are great to break the wedlock. 🙂
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Ooh, I see what you did there! 🙂 Thanks for reading Bjorn.
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Nice interaction. Serve him right!
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Yes, he’ll be hanging around for a while I should imagine. 🙂
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What a great way to end a relationship. I am guessing he deserved this!
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Going out in style, it always feels good. 🙂
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Sometimes being grounded is the only way to sail….away from men like that.
BRAVO.
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I’m with you there, Kir. 🙂
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I think you are right about the grounding of the relationship. That guy certainly needs to be knocked off his high horse and spend some time on the ground.
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I think he may be spending some time on the bottom of the lock. Thanks for visiting Joseph.
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INdeed.
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Good for her; sounds like he knew which buttons to press too … to his fault
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Thanks for reading Jen, and for a lovely pic.
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I was reliving a particularly contentious sailing mishap when I read this. Luckily I didn’t hang my man from the halyard afterwards. I wonder why they think we act faster when they yell at us.
I hope your trip is without conflict. 🙂
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I’ve got to admit, I’m probably the shorter tempered of the pair of us when we’re in some kind of a crisis on the water. But the OH does silent exasperation very well….
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I’m laughing here, Sandra, especially after having spent a short but wonderful time on the boat. My imagination is running riot. Love the title, too.
janet
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Hi Janet, we moored last night at the place where we met you. Thought you might identify with this.
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🙂
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Sounds like something you’ve been tempted to do…or have already done…lol.
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Well, let’s just say I can well imagine the situation … 😉
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Can you burn your bridges with water? Guess you can!
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Best way, I think.
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Yeah, you should never yell at your partner when she has control of your boat, or you’ll get what you deserve!
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So true!
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Yes, justice!!
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… is done. 🙂
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I didn’t get the sailspeak but I laughed, nevertheless. 🙂 Loved the pun 😀
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Thanks for bearing with the technicalities. 🙂
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Very funny and, speaking as one who has crewed on occasion, very realistic.
Some guys just put on that hat…
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I always despair when I see a man in a captain’s hat on a small boat. It nearly always ends in trouble. The OH knows I will only tolerate a beanie hat in our wheelhouse. 🙂
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I can only echo CE above me. I laughed so much reading your story, I’ve done a little bit of sailing, and your story made me remember all the yelling and high drama that goes on even in just a little race around a tiny inland Australian lake. Is CE right? Is it the skipper’s hat? Great story.
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Some men are very bossy on the water. I saw one woman being ordered “NOT to let go of that rope, WHATEVER”, and then her husband gunned the boat away from the quayside, she hung on and… well it was the most artistic, arched descent into water that I’ve ever seen. And still she didn’t let go of the rope… Thanks for reading Margaret.
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My dad had a sailboat. As impatient as he could be, he usually managed to keep the yelling/sarcasm down to a minimum – he did, after all, enjoy when people came sailing with him! To this day, my neighbour knows to call it a line and not a rope (over 25 years ago!)
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The water takes different people different ways, I guess. 🙂
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Her ‘ship’ has certainly sailed away from him.
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For other shores, hopefully.
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great post. this is one example on how to use a metaphor effectively.
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Thank you, good to see you back in circulation again. 🙂
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Well, think he should have kept his mouth shut – Men are slow learners! Cute story! Nan
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Thanks Nan!
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loved it
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Thank you!
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Great cruising stuff there. I bet it’s happened more than once.
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I’ve seen marriages founder for less than this. 🙂
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I love it, the perfect revenge. I know the situation, as many others do, and am short of patience and vocal about it, too. But if you cross a line, when sarcasm becomes and end in itself, the respect is lost, the ship has sailed. Perfect story, as always.
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Many thanks for dropping by.
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Well, I guess she showed him. That was great, Sandra. I could just see the boat hanging there. Well done. 😀 — Suzanne
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Thanks for reading Suzanne.:)
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Although I’m not a boat person in the way that you are, I understood perfectly and am so proud of your heroine. As my grandmother would have said ‘Ship up or ship out’ he definitely shipped out!
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Grandmother’s have always known the score. 🙂 Thanks for dropping by Dee.
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It serves him right yelling at her like that. You do know your boat terms, Sandra. I’m impressed. I could follow along and marvel at your work. Nice one. Bon voyage. Safe travels to you.
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Thanks Amy 🙂
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Great story, as always, and super metaphor.
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Thanks Perry, hope you are having a lovely birthday!
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Was with you most of it, lost a bit, but then picked it up in the end.. Great one 🙂
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Thanks for sticking with it. 🙂
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Love this – it made me feel like I was cruising the waterways along with you. I hope your husband is a little less bossy. I was never a very good first mate. I have a hard time taking orders. 😄
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There must be 50 ways to leave your lover.
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Ha ha, sounds like he deserved that! It brings a hilarious image to mind 🙂
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So mean of him to address her as a cretin. It’s good she walks away from him.http://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2015/09/boat.html?m=1
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I also love heroins having the last laugh, especially in this case. How well you write dear.
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Good for her. My father owned a yacht and after the first few trips out to sea with him, my mother and I stayed at home relaxing while he did the serious racing with an all-male crew.
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We went through a series of locks on the upper Mississippi. This is hilarious. The last line really cracked me up. He only died figuratively this time. HA!
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an intriguing way to end a relationship
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I’m late, again, to the party, but there are still treats! I knew YOU would have a clever angle for this one. I love imagining you guys on your barge, coasting the waterways… and I love that you can then spin that lovely image in such a wickedly clever way. 😉 Safe travels Sandra!
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