Holding Back The Years – Friday Fictioneers, September 2015

Copyright Marie-Gail Stratford

Copyright Marie-Gail Stratford

 

She’s just dropped my smart-phone into a sink of hot soapy water.

“I was only looking,” she whines.

You – don’t – look – with – your – hands.”  I fairly spit the words into her worried face, and she blinks, recoiling.

I turn away, awash with shame and regret. I’m not cut out for this – my sister must be a saint.

“Sorry,” she whispers.

“No… I’m sorry, sweetheart. How about we go to the park for an ice-cream?”

“Oh yes please….”

And then her sun emerges; I glow under the warmth of her delighted approval.

Just as I did more than fifty years ago.

Back in the comforting arms of technology after roughing it for a few weeks, it’s soppy stuff from me this week, I’m afraid.  Delighted to be participating in Friday Fictioneers from home, under the stalwart leadership of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.  Thanks to Marie-Gail for her photo prompt this week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yG07WSu7Q9w

Advertisements

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

100 Responses to Holding Back The Years – Friday Fictioneers, September 2015

  1. Miles Rost says:

    I’m not sure why, but I felt like this was related to someone with alzheimer’s. Excellently done.

    Like

  2. Beautiful. Such a difficult time of life but you’ve expressed it beautifully Sandra.

    Like

  3. Dear Sandra,

    You’ve captured the poignant cycle of life. We start out as children and all too many return to that state. Perhaps they’re the happy ones. Well done as always.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  4. My mum looks after her mother one day a week and my son another day a week. 80 years between them but they have so much in common. She could relate to your story!

    Like

  5. micklively says:

    If you love someone enough, the years mean nothing.
    Good piece.

    Like

  6. misskzebra says:

    Interestingly, I went to thinking the “she” was a mother/wife, to a child, and then back again.

    Like

  7. Big story without a lot being said. Very nice.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. gahlearner says:

    The music and your words create a sad and beautiful story.

    Like

  9. Sad tale from you this week. Well done.

    Like

  10. You did soppy just right, Sandra, and left us to interpret your story in various and perhaps apply it to our lives.

    janet

    Like

  11. k rawson says:

    So sweet and poignant. At first I didn’t get the roles but when I did–there is just so much there. Nicely done!

    Like

  12. This almost brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful story.

    Like

  13. ansumani says:

    Touching story – The mother’s condition is shown well without providing any details. Nicely done.

    Like

  14. Mama Zen says:

    Oh, that was like a punch in the gut. Damn fine writing.

    Like

  15. Kir Piccini says:

    A beautiful portraits of mothers and daughters and the life cycle we are all a part of. Plus I’m missing my mom more than a little these days. (She has moved from PA to Savannah, Georgia.)

    Like

  16. Lynda says:

    Mother, daughter, or sister? No matter. The feelings in this vignette tell a truth. A poignant and well told story, Sandra.

    Like

  17. How difficult is can be in these circumstances. The sister seems to be carrying the load; your character (well drawn as is the other) should be grateful.

    Like

  18. paulmclem says:

    Didn’t get it at first, but the comments made it clear. On a re-read it really hit home. So sad how people end up this way – born helpless, die helpless. Tragic.

    Like

  19. Painful to read…even more painful to live and yet there are so many beautiful moments too.

    Like

  20. Dale says:

    My first thought was the narrator was giving the sister a break from taking care of her mentally handicapped child. (I should have realised as my grand-mother used to give her sister a break by taking in their mother…) Sweet.

    Like

  21. SarCou says:

    I absolutely love this piece. Very well written; beautifully conveys a raft of emotions. I’ve read it 3 times and I think I’ll keep coming back to it. Wonderful!

    Like

  22. There is a sweetness in this though.. somehow they stay happy though. Maybe it’s worse to see it happen. My mother is on her way this road, and some days she is mostly happy.

    Like

  23. storydivamg says:

    Well done, Sandra. My dad has days even now when he doesn’t track well, and the temptation to lash out at him in frustration is often near the surface. But how will I feel when he isn’t around to annoy me.

    Your story struck a nerve.

    All my best,
    MG

    Like

  24. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Sandra, I love your story and it is so life-like and seems real! Great job! Maybe I will start writing again – it’s been a very busy (good) summer. Nan

    Like

  25. it takes some getting used taking care of someone else – especially someone else’s someone else.
    Ice cream is always good for getting over an annoyance.
    Randy

    Like

  26. plaridel says:

    this is so true to life. writtedn with compassion in mind.

    Like

  27. Sumana Roy says:

    aww…i feel so melted by the spirit of the story…sweet….

    Like

  28. Oh, you just pinched my heart, Sandra. This one hits close to home… for many, I’m sure. Well done, as always.

    And nice new photo; I like it! Welcome home!

    Like

  29. Great story Sandra. And I can relate to it because my Mum’s in my care now and I find it hard to be patient sometimes, and she still treats me like a child sometimes.

    Like

  30. Good story, Sandra. My mother had Alzheimer’s. She also enjoyed simple things. She was no trouble most of the seven years she was with us after my dad died.. We finally couldn’t meet her physical needs at home, and had to put her in a good nursing home. The attendants there loved her as she was nice to all of them. It’s often harder on the caregiver than the patient. She died peacefully at 93, but thought she was in her 30’s. She dreamed at night that she was traveling to visit relatives. I said at the time she traveled more than I did. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      We can never know, can we, what goes on in the mind of Alzheimers patients. You can only hope they’re protected from some of the fears that plague others. Thanks for reading Suzanne. I hope it didn’t bring back painful memories.

      Like

  31. rogershipp says:

    Loving the one’s we love… A heart-wrenching task… Both physically and mentally! Well done!

    Like

  32. draliman says:

    Sad but at the same time beautiful. Nicely written!

    Like

  33. Joyce says:

    Pass the Kleenex tissues, please. 🙂 Very sensitive, wrenches the heart and speaks of the contrast between a sister who’s quick to react out of anger, and the other whose simple, honest response brings regret and shame to the former. I could see them clearly and happy their hearts were united in the end.

    Like

  34. Been there, done that. It was so hard to hold my tongue, and now she’s gone forever. I wish I could have been more patient.

    Like

  35. jwdwrites says:

    It’s hard to watch a parent declining like that and staying patient even harder. Another thought provoking story Sandra well done.

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      You’re right. I remember occasionally feeling cross and irritated with my father, not about what he was doing, but that he was succumbing to the ravages of age at all. Thanks for reading.

      Like

  36. ceayr says:

    Powerful, poignant, punchy.
    Perfect.

    Like

  37. liz young says:

    Beautifully done – I wasn’t surprised it turned out to be her mother. I have similar experiences going on in my life now.

    Like

  38. Amy Reese says:

    Very nice. This is the cycle of life encapsulated. I can relate to this very well. In our older years, we become kids again. Well done, Sandra.

    Like

  39. Dee says:

    You hit soppy just right. It is so hard to watch a loved one practically disappear in front of you, losing all sense of reason and the ability to communicate as they once did. Well done.

    Like

  40. Arl's World says:

    Nice! Reminds me of my beautiful Mother.

    Like

  41. Margaret says:

    Beautifully told, and so true to life – I’m sure we’ve all said things we regret in moments of frustration, whatever the situation. Not soppy at all, in my view.

    Like

  42. A wonderful touching story. This is a good one Sandra.

    Like

  43. Sarah Ann says:

    Touchingly told. I could feel your protagonist’s frustration, guilt and love so strongly.

    Like

  44. What a creative take on this prompt, Sandra. The emotions you portray are almost raw enough to make the reader feel them with the main characters. Very nicely done.

    Like

  45. subroto says:

    Old fools become like babies again. Touching story.

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s