Lily’s Pond – Friday Fictioneers, February 2016

leary2

Copyright Erin Leary

 

The flame of passion, never having burned too brightly in Lily’s breast, flickers briefly before expiring, mired in the swamp of Maurice’s devotion.

Gazing down at him from her marital pedestal, she examines her exit strategy.

Lily is no fool. No-one jumps ship until a life-boat appears, but the horizon appears markedly bereft of any kind of craft, alive or otherwise.

“Do I need a man?” she ponders. “Or do I crave security?”

The answer is revealed by the discovery of hitherto undisclosed life-insurance.

Lily sets sail.

Maurice?

Well, though a tad less devotional, the swamp proves fit for purpose.


I crossed another item off my bucket list with my success at Flash 500, after what seemed like a lifetime of being long/short-listed.  Right… what next? A big thank-you to Rochelle for the very literal  “heads-up”, not to mention her support and her championship of the flash fiction cause at Friday Fictioneers.

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About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

93 Responses to Lily’s Pond – Friday Fictioneers, February 2016

  1. Dear Sandra,

    Poor Maurice. T’would seem that he’s interned in the swamp of his misplaced devotion. Poetic yet grisly. Well done. Again a hearty congratulations on Flash 500!

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  2. Congratulations on winning Flash 500 – just read it and it’s a wonderful story; brilliantly structured, with the best last line. And this one too is pretty damn fine. I was surprised she bumped him off, but she sounds quite a hard nut.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sandra says:

      Thank you Claire, glad you liked A Matter of Minutes – I was thrilled to win. So far as this story goes, I think Lily has hidden depths, certainly Maurice is plumbing them at this moment. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, Lilly…poor choice, I guess I read too many crime novels to know better. 😀 Poor Maurice, what a price to pay for his devotion. Excellently crafted, as usual.
    As for your 500 words story, what can I say? I enjoyed it so much, it was like a scene from Midsummer Murders or A Touch of Frost. Well deserved, Sandra! Well deserved.

    Like

  4. The Voice says:

    Excellent story, Sandra and so well told. Your metaphors were perfect for the tale. I really enjoyed this one. Great job.

    Like

  5. Graham Lawrence says:

    Really enjoyable tale. Congrats for your 500 word story too which I loved reading!

    Like

  6. Poor Maurice. And bad Lily – although we do have some sneaky admiration for her. Beautifully told.

    Like

  7. A well written story. Guess she picked security, poor fella.
    Congratulations, I enjoyed your story, a well deserved win.

    Like

  8. trentpmcd says:

    Congratulations on the Flash 500! It was a great story! I also like this one. A metaphorical journey to murder… very nice.

    Like

  9. paulmclem says:

    Congrats on ANOTHER prize winning story! Enjoyed reading it as well as this one. Only thing which jarred with me slightly this week was the two uses of “appears” in the same sentence. The second one could be something like “remains”. See you next week.

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      Thanks Paul, I never saw that. I keep saying I’ll investigate that software that checks for repetition! That’s one of my blind spots. Thanks for reading.

      Like

  10. Goodness! This made me laugh out loud which was sad for my computer screen because I was eating peanuts. Thanks for the well-thought out chuckle.And CONGRATS again!

    Like

  11. Murder as poetry? That’s what I read, anyway. lol
    Congrats on your flash piece. I read it just the other day. I always enjoy your writing.

    Like

  12. MythRider says:

    I read you wining flash fiction. Congratulations.

    Like

  13. Margaret says:

    This is a wonderful story, Sandra. Very clever storyline and I continue to be amazed at how you build such depth into your characters and their relationships so efficiently. Huge congratulations on winning Flash 500. that story is also a masterpiece.

    Like

  14. Congratulations Sandra. That’s fabulous news!

    Like

  15. ceayr says:

    Brilliant, I laughed aloud.
    You are firmly entrenched in the top two here on FF, in my opinion, and your Matter of Minutes is a masterpiece.
    I absolutely love the subtlety of the exchange, finishing with the detective’s tacit collusion.
    I congratulate you on your well deserved success.
    Bravo!

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      Thanks CE. On both accounts. ‘Minutes’ was one of those stories that I really couldn’t evaluate – sometimes I thought it worked, on other readings it didn’t seem to. But I was pleased Flash 500 decided it did. 🙂

      Like

  16. Bloggeuse says:

    Haha, Sandra – you’re so wicked. Heaven help any less-than-satisfactory husbands that wander into the path of your sharp stories.

    Like

  17. Bloggeuse says:

    (congratulations, too, on your Flash500 victory – well deserved!)

    Like

  18. You have me chuckling at the demise of poor Maurice… well done. I really loved your 500 also… and once again an applause for winning… I’m never disappointed with a visit to your virtual lair.

    Like

  19. gahlearner says:

    This is brilliant, beginning to end. Reading your stories, I finally understand how to use metaphors. Poor Maurice… And congrats on your well-deserved win. That is one marvellous short story.

    Like

  20. Such a clever comparison. That’s why you are a winner! Loved your winning fiction story as well.

    Like

  21. Congratulations on winning the “Flash 500”, Sandra. It was a great story. I can understand you’re winning. Poor Maurice in this story. Looks like he was in that unfortunate position of being worth more dead than alive. That’s dangerous territory. My dad used to joke that he was safe as long as he was worth more alive than dead. :D. Well done indeed. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Like

  22. ansumani says:

    Congratulations on Flash 500 win ! I was impressed on how you built the story with dialogue and very little mind voice. I hope to learn from you 🙂

    This story is short and sweet…who needs a man?

    Like

  23. Indira says:

    Hi Sandra! Congrats for Flash 500. Just now read it. Excellent story.You use beautiful phrases. Give me a chuckle even in sad situations. FF is as usual excellent.

    Like

  24. liz young says:

    Congratulations on your Flash 500 win, and on this story of escape from the humdrum.

    Like

  25. Shivangi says:

    Congratulations on your victory! Great post😀

    Like

  26. draliman says:

    Great story, I like a good “black widow” femme fatale type thing, and great metaphors.
    Also, well done with your flash fiction win! I gave it a read, very enjoyable 🙂

    Like

  27. plaridel says:

    metaphorically perfect. one of your best.

    Like

  28. Congratulations on your win. I loved your piece – A Matter of Minutes! So well deserved!
    This is equally wonderful! Poor Maurice! Yay for Lily!

    Like

  29. jademwong says:

    Oooh what an exceptionally well-written story. I had to read it over a few times to really appreciate all the nuances. Poor Maurice. Congrats also on your Flash 500 win. That story kept me glued to the screen from start to finish. You have a talent!

    Like

  30. Sandra, as I read various other stories, I thought someone should name the main character Lily, so I’m glad you did. This is a veritable garden of metaphorical allusions. Great job. Congratulations on your win in Flash 500. It could not have gone to a more deserving writer. I read the story and absolutely loved it.
    -David

    Like

  31. Pingback: Idyll – Friday Fictioneers | A Delectable Life

  32. Judee says:

    Heehee, loved it! Great use of analogy, or is it metaphor? I never remember, ha. And congrats on the 1st place in Flash 500!

    Like

  33. Ruchira Tickoo says:

    Congratulations, on your great win! The words guide us through the plot so well as if we are ourselves there. A lovely read!

    Like

  34. i b arora says:

    that was interesting

    Like

  35. writelindy says:

    Congratulations Sandra on your recent success. This story demonstrates your talent.

    Like

  36. Congratulations on your well deserved win. Your take on this week’s prompt is just masterful, as always.

    Like

  37. Amy Reese says:

    Great solid story! It’s just perfectly crafted and packaged. A delight, Sandra. Congrats on your Flash 500 win! Excellent news.

    Like

  38. Sandra,
    Yet, another masterful piece of writing. It’s no surprise that you’ve reached you 500 Flash.
    Congratulations … May your words continue to floe and delight us with your stories.
    Superb …!!!
    Isadora 😎

    Like

  39. Congratulations Sandra, on the fabulous success of Flash 500 and another wonderful entry this week. I love the way you work the imagery into the story, in the first lines… and then expand it so wonderfully!

    The link to Flash 500 doesn’t seem to be working here or on Rochelle’s page, but I think i read the story a while back? The restaurant shoot out? Or is that another fabulous piece? Mazel!

    Like

  40. mickwynn2013 says:

    Great piece that made me smile with it’s matter of fact telling. Brilliant

    Like

  41. Sounds like she got what she wanted out of him.

    Like

  42. subroto says:

    Firstly congratulations on Flash 500. Maurice will undoubtedly rest in peace now that Lily has jumped the pad.

    Like

  43. Sandra… how beautiful! I love the word picture! So well done… congratulations on your Flash 500 award!!!! 🙂

    Like

  44. erinleary says:

    Another great story – but from a prize winning writer, I expect nothing less! Congratulations to a talented writer and a friend I haven’t yet met. Well done, Sandra.

    Like

  45. What a story! Whoosh! Took my breath away. Some very painful shades of disillusionment at the start, the death of a marriage, the question of man vs. security, all perfectly phrased. The ending has to be inevitable, but oh, so beautiful-crafted.
    And congratulations, Sandra on your Flash500 win! I read the story, and it was brilliant! You deserve that award! Here’s to you!

    Like

  46. Congratulations on A Matter of Minutes! I read it and think it shows good character development. Lily sounds like a mean one and may find herself in deep water if Maurice resurfaces.

    Like

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