The prison has overshadowed these cramped and sooty terraced houses for years.
Sometimes, snug in my bed, I’d be woken by the wail of sirens, and I’d fancy I heard clanging cell doors, the relentless, pounding footsteps of the warders, the frustrated roars of the inmates.
I’d shiver, wondering if that dreadful man, with his strange ways, had finally escaped, and was now darting from doorway to doorway, intent on making his way home.
I hated living so close to the prison, but Mum said we were lucky.
“Some children have to travel miles to visit their fathers,” she said.
“Write what you see,” exhorts the multi-talented Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for Friday Fictioneers. And in this atmospheric photo by Emmy L Gant, I saw Strangeways Prison, past which I used to drive twice every day for a dozen or more years on my way into work in Manchester. Such an oppressive building, with an atmosphere of gloom and foreboding which permeated the surrounding area. The last execution took place there in August, 1964.
POW! That last line was like a punch to the solar plexus. A beautifully written, very stark, very dark story, Sandra!
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Thank you! It’s a terrific prompt.
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My pleasure! Yes, I really liked Emmy’s prompt!
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Dear Sandra,
Vijaya beat me to the punch, so to speak. Amazing story and ever so well written as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you, my friend. 🙂 I appreciate your visits
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Everyone beat me to the punch….what a story, that last line was everything!
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Leapt at me out of nowhere. 🙂 Well, almost… Thank you!
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Ohhh…the end. Loved it.
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Thank you!
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Very powerful story Sandra. I imagine that prison as foreboding as the Conciergerie, the massive structure on the Seine where prisoners have been kept for centuries and are still held now. Compassion is all over the understated punch line. Bravo.
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Thank you Emmy, and for a terrific prompt. I’m certain we’re going to see a whole different range of stories this week.
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I’ll repeat everyone here. That last line is everything, a punch…Very beautifully written as usual.
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Thank you Indira. 🙂
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🙂
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Fabulous last line – made me gasp.
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A friend on FB said “was I supposed to laugh out loud at the end?”. I said, “well, you know me, as long as they gasp or laugh, it’s all the same to me. Job done. 🙂 Thanks for dropping by Louise.
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I didn’t like to say I laughed but… Shock end anyway 🙂
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Very unexpected. Very nice.
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Thank you Jeremy.
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Good story and great twist at the end, Sandra. Well written as always. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thank you Suzanne. 🙂
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The photo prompt also reminded me of Strangeways, which I managed to look round being a nurse in training [1970 ] But your response to the prompt is just brilliant.
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Thanks Michael. I’d like to say that I hoped you enjoyed your visit there, but… 🙂
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Bleakly foreboding and brilliant.
It has all been said above.
But let me just add that every week I am astounded – and envious – at how much you portray in 100 words.
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Thank you CE, you make me blush. Or perhaps that’s my hormones… I dunno. Anyway glad you like my offerings.
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Laughing.
And blushing too.
Ladies’ hormones are among life’s greatest mysteries!
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Tell me about it…. 😦
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Excellent last line. Punch to the gut, brilliant!
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Thank you Cheryl! 🙂
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Not sure mum is very …
I feel sick for the poor child.
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Thanks for reading. 🙂
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The last line was heartbreaking. Well done!
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Thank you Ansumani. 🙂
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Oh wow! What a piece! The last line tears the reader in half and intensifies the terror.
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Thank you Jessie! 🙂 Hope you’re well.
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Very sinister feel. I’m not sure whether to feel more sorry for the child, in fear of the dreadful and strange father, or perhaps for the father, who may not be so very horrible but whose own child thinks he is because of this dreadful place where he’s locked up. Either way, very sad.
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I love lateral thinking. 🙂 Thank you Joy.
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Ack! What a twist and how scary.
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Many thanks for reading.
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That last line tugged at my heart.
MG
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Thank you Marie-Gail. Hope all is well with you.
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Mostly. And likewise.
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The last line as everyone has said is brilliant, poignant but at the same time I laughed at the mother’s indomitable will to see the positive for her children.
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I’m not sure whether I intended it to be funny, but it made me grin as it tripped off the end of my fingers and onto the keyboard. 🙂
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Great last line, what a twist! I feel the mum and child have mixed feelings about the father – nice to be able to visit but not so good if he’s out.
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Thanks for reading Al. 🙂
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Fantastic Sandra! And wow what an ending! Loved it 🙂
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Thank you Heidi, 🙂
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The impressions this child has from life in prison, the way she sees her father–and in contrast her mother’s attitude… You open up a life story in 100 words. Needless to say that I too felt the punch, and admire how you put it there.
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Thanks Gah! 🙂
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The set-up for that last line is pitch-perfect. Well done.
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Thanks Alicia, glad you liked it.
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That was a powerful twist! I like the way you wove the name of the prison into the piece.
Thank heaven no more executions….
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Thanks Jan. Yes, even if only one person were wrongly executed, that would be enough to have justified its abolition.
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Every cloud….
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i’d give it to the wife. what a lucky guy. perhaps he’d come out a changed man.
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I love your confidence. 🙂
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Great ending!
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Thank you Ruth 🙂
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Hahah, Sandra. Yes, I agree with all before me. A ‘hahah’ escaped my lips when reading the last sentence. Very well structured, and capturing piece… (Yes, pun intended.) 😉
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Thank you Carolyn 🙂
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Through a child’s eyes … the world looks very different. Well done.
Tracey
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Thanks Tracey. 🙂
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Poor child – such a dreadful way to live, and her mother clearly doesn’t understand her fears. Great story in so few words.
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Thanks Liz. 🙂
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Wow. Lovely ending.
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Thank you!
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Beautifully written and a fantastic last line. I always like the play on ‘strange ways’…
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Thank you Claire 🙂
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Wonder if Mum gets to make conjugal visits? Personally, I think I’d rather live next to a cemetery.
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Conjugal visits? Put me down for six years. I’ll steal something, anything …!
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Now there’s a dilema. Thanks for visiting, Russell.
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Great title. And I agree with Claire – beautifully written. A strange little journey in 100 words, from standing in that street to inside a child’s troubled mind.
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Thank you!
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Wasn’t expecting that last line – so much told in a few words.
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Thank you!
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Ooohhh, nice, Sandra! Crisp and clear and incredibly good. Well done!
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Thanks Kent, glad you liked it. 🙂
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Well, I hope dad was only in for a traffic violation and is not the dreadful man. Just trying to make the story nice! Gripping as usual.
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I like your style There could be a job waiting for you in the presidential nominations from what I’m seeing. 🙂
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I was with you every step of the way! We used to drive past Strangeways on the way to my aunt’s house and as a child it always gave me the creeps… Great story, loved it 🙂
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Yes, you’d have to drive through it to fully appreciate the menacing character of the place. Thanks for visiting, Dee.
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Oh that last line… Some men should not be allowed to be fathers.
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Thanks Bjorn, yes, some do seem to make rather a hash of it. 🙂
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Wow! You bring to life the images of growing up with a sense of foreboding and unseen dangers, then throw in that sucker punch at the end.
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Thank you Subroto. 🙂
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Oh, the last line…that really got me! .I was going to say, I live not too far from a prison (in Folsom) but far enough away to not really ever think about it. Some live right on its border, but from I what understand, behind the prison gates, it’s a rather huge complex, like its own city! This was a great one, Sandra. I loved the description of the interior prison, too, its sounds and the fear about living so close. Every now and then, we do have escapees!
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I can never hear the word ‘Folsom’ without thinking of Johnny Cash. 🙂 Thanks for visiting Amy.
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Fantastic. The grimness of the scene and the child’s fears are gripping from the start, but the last line underscores it all perfectly. They’ve been visiting the father for years – and she’s still afraid of him!
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Thanks for reading Margaret. 🙂
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This is wonderful Sandra. I love the personification of the prison, how it dominates the landscape and the thoughts of the narrator. The mystery of the “dreadful man” raises many questions, and then the sublie pay off line. Really very good indeed
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Thanks for dropping by, RG.
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Sandra, I can’t think of anything to add that hasn’t been said above, but I didn’t want to just click the like button without telling you how much I enjoyed your work this morning. Bravo!
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Well I’m glad you told me that! 🙂 Thank you so much, Lynda.
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