Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
I like to walk by the river at dawn – it helps me reflect, to see things more clearly.
“We were only drifting along, you and I,” he’d said, “not really going anywhere.”
That wasn’t the way I’d seen it; I thought we had a future together. He was everything to me.
I didn’t watch him go, just let him drift away.
Besides, I had to bury the knife and freshen up a tad; I hate messy endings.
I like to walk by the river. I see things more clearly.
To be honest, now I’m wondering whether he really was my type.
I’m posting a re-tread today, from four years ago, so it will probably be new to most of you. This is one of my favourites – it’s a ‘voice’ I find so easy to drop into. And one which makes my husband nervous. 🙂 We’re in beautiful Dorset and off out early, so apologies for not having the time to create something new. Thanks once again to Rochelle, who still finds time to orchestrate the Friday Fictioneers, despite a very busy schedule.
castelsarrasin 
Dear Sandra,
I can see why this voice would make your husband a bit edgy. The repetition of the first line gives the piece an eerie calm. I don’t remember if I’ve read this one. It goes with the prompt. If you hadn’t ‘fessed up no one would’ve known. 😉 A timeless retread in any case. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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🙂 I feel very strongly about what I call “spent” stories, ones that can’t be submitted anywhere because they’ve been on the writer’s website. It seems such a dreadful waste. I’ll try not to do this too often, but I must confess I like to give some of my work the opportunity of a second reading. 🙂 Thank you for commenting, Rochelle.
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I think it’s a great idea. Some of my best FF stories are ones that the current community hasn’t read. I’ll do a few more rerun weeks here and there for us. 😉 😉
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This is great! I love the way you seem to be speaking metaphorically at first and then change it up to be more literal.
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Thanks Dawn. 🙂
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Love this voice… “freshen up a tad”… and “he wasn’t my type” leave me scared… A tread I think I might have been inspired by a few times… hmm might go back to that at some point… and yes the first person’s perspective makes it grimmer.
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Thanks for reading Bjorn, I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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I haven’t read this before and so am grateful for the chance this time round. Great tale told with a great voice and style.
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Thanks Mick! 🙂
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I’m glad you reposted this since I didn’t get to the first time. You definitely have a strong and powerful voice, and I loved the first person view as it really drove that home. Great story! ☺
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Many thanks, pleased that you liked it.
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Your story is new to me and deliciously unsettling. Yup. Love the voice and the repetition. Great read.
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Many thanks Emmy. 🙂
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I like that voice, too. Glad you re-posted this great story.
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Thank you!
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Superb.
Beautifully constructed, seems to be just ‘drifting’, then ouch.
Left me smiling, albeit nervously!
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You sound like my husband then! 😉 Thanks CE.
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Brilliantly written.
That calmness is very disturbing.
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Thank you!
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Good story, Sandra. It’s new to me. I also understand why that voice bothers your husband a bit. Well written as always. 🙂 — Suzanne
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He’s locked himself in the kitchen… such a drama king. 🙂 Thank you Suzanne.
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This has an eerie calmness that makes my skin crawl. Very well done.
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Thanks Alicia, glad you liked it, crawling skin or not. 🙂
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I’m guessing she wasn’t his type either! Have a great time in Dorset – I love it there.
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Thank you Louise. We love it here, too.
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Beautiful. I was looking for inspiration. My first thought was also the river and a murder but you did it so well I can’t compete. Maybe I’ll think about the clock….
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The clock is a good place to start. Thanks for reading. 🙂
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I agree with you about spent stories, Regarding the character, she seems so cold, almost psychotic?
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The word that always springs to mind when I use this type of character (and I use it a lot 🙂 ) is sociopathic. I’ve no idea whether that’s right or not, but I see her as someone who doesn’t seem to be able to distinguish between right and wrong.
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Sounds like if she can’t have him, then no one else will. Nice story!
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That about sums it up! 🙂 Thanks for reading.
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Sounds like she’s done this before! How many bodies will we find drifting down the river? I love the different ways you use the word “drift.” What a great, frightening tale! 🙂
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Thank you Nortina!
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Oh yes! Love it! There have been times when I’ve wished for such resolve 🙂
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🙂 I take it that you never managed to acquire it?
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Yes, what everyone said! The voice is brilliant and I, too, love the feeling it is metaphorical to turn into reality… Just remind your husband when he steps out of line… 😉
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He’s very cautious.. it would be hard to catch him out. 🙂
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You just let him drift away. A bit more grisly than usual from you. No wonder I was never good at breaking up with people!
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Thanks for reading Perry. I’ve been to your site and tried to comment, but this week I’ve had to clear the cache on my computer and Blogspot isn’t recognising me. In the end I lost the will to live trying to jump through the hoops I must have jumped through once before, so here I am just saying your story made me laugh. When I’ve got more time I’ll try to remember how to negotiate the impossible verification procedures.
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New to me and good. I personally would end it at the repeated line for a full bookend effect. But great stuff none the less.
All my best,
MG
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Thanks Marie Gail.
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Great pace and character.
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Thank you 🙂
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That is scary and darkly humorous. I love the letting him drift away because the knife needs to be buried. Everyone would be a bit nervous around tat person.
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I think so. 🙂 Thank you for visiting.
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Whoa, you lulled me into a false sense of security with all the calm! From the way she’s acting she sounds like the very definition of “sociopath” 🙂
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Thank you!
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Great stuff. And you always look like such a nice person on your photo.
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We sociopaths are always careful about the way we present ourselves… 😉 Thanks for visiting
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Again, another author writing my kind of stories – loved it. @sheilagood at Cow Pasture Chronicles
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Thanks for visiting Sheila. 🙂
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i guess this is what you call making a clean cut. 🙂
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I think so. 🙂
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I love how the narrator lets him “drift off”. Well crafted story. I haven’t read it before and the theme is timeless.
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Thank you Ansumani, good to see you here.
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I like the way you put this together, Sandra. I can see why your husband is nervous. Ha! Nicely done.
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Sometimes I’ll catch him looking at me and …. 🙂
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Fantastic Sandra! Well written and love the flow. 🙂
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Thank you Heidi. 🙂
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I’ve heard of couples drifting apart, but always thought it was metaphorical (except in the case of the Titanic). Murder is such messy business. There’s all that cleaning up to do, and disposing of evidence.
Note to self; Do NOT go on a float trip with Sandra.
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You just don’t have a sense of adventure, Russell. 🙂
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Very effective tone and style. I felt upset for her as she seemed so detached!
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Thank you and thanks for visiting.
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My pleasure!
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Sandra, I don’t remember reading this before but I do recognise the voice as one of yours. And you do it so well. Honestly, this is probably my favourite of your stories ever and definitely worth re-airing. Can’t praise it highly enough; enjoy Dorset!
Jen
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Thanks Jen, I appreciate your comment. Dorset was lovely, can’t wait to go back.
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Oh so wicked and yet such deliciously dark humour. I am glad I had not read this one before. Your husband must be a light sleeper 😉
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🙂 Light enough. Thanks for reading Subroto.
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That line, “I didn’t watch him go, just let him drift away.” has a whole new meaning when I read it the second time. 🙂 Nice story. Apparently he wasn’t her type, although I wonder what that is. I guess the not-leaving type.
-David
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Or leaving without signalling it up in advance… Thanks for reading David.
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This was great fun! The twist was perfectly executed in such a short piece of writing. The first half had me completely fooled. It could easily be the opening to a novel – your lead character deserves a longer story. I’m already rooting for her!
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Thank you! Glad you liked it, and her. 🙂
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Sandra, you really should have written for Alfred Hitchcock Presents. That nicely understated and shocking conclusion reminds me SO much of it … and how many dates I never went out on again! Good work!
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Looks like you may have had a few lucky escapes, Kent. Thanks for reading.
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As Rochelle would say, “We wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
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That was deliciously brutal! You are such a talented and tersely expressive writer! I love the misleading tone of this, and then that letting out of air at the end, so to speak. Well-done!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Retread or not, I always love it when you off someone in 100 words. I’m sure it was justified. 😀
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Solidarity – that’s what I like to see 🙂
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Excellent story! I love the ending; she realizes she wasn’t that into him to begin with.
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a bit horrifying, no?
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That’ll teach him – drifting indeed. Fantastic twist to a great story. I’m not surprised it’s one of your favourites. I love the voice and tone.
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Oh, that one is cruel with a capital ‘C’! Great write this week!
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“Besides, I had to bury the knife and freshen up a tad; I hate messy endings.” What a great line! Enjoyed!!
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Drift away – what truth in it, I feel it.
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not what I expected after reading about walking along the river at dawn – nice twist – and nice re-tread.
🙂
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First of all, can I say how organised I find your site to be? The flow and the links are coherent, easy to follow and quite attractive. I tried to find your most recent Friday fictioneers but couldn’t. I found your “published” most impressive in terms of how well laid out its and in terms of the glimpses it gave me of you as an author.
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