The walls between our units were paper thin; next door the thump of heavy-duty machines heralded the birth of belts and handbags, whilst in our workplace makeshift power connections flickered, sparking above production lines foaming with tawdry silk underwear.
It was a living.
Today, above the smog that wreathes the island, fat-cats cruise in silver birds across a cerulean arc. Hundreds of anguished souls drift between high-rise buildings, watching the Star ferries butt relentlessly across greasy, grey waters with their human cargoes.
The walls between our units were paper thin; when the fire started we never stood a chance.
I really did intend to write something new for this week’s prompt, but when I looked back, I recalled that this was a particular favourite of mine. It reminded me of a time when my husband and I visited the island as a precursor to a possible secondment there. I hated it – the smog, the noisy chaos, the traffic, the overcrowding. A dark moment – but fate intervened and a change of policy resulted in our relocating instead to Johannesburg, South Africa. A tad more dangerous, but infinitely more beautiful. 🙂 Thank you to Rochelle, the illustrious leader of the Friday Fictioneers for hosting this weekly get together.
Chilling and yet beautifully told, Sandra. You create such clear images in so few words – the macinery, the filthy air, the inequality between rich and poor. Very clear, very well written.
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Thanks Lynn, glad you liked it. 🙂
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A great story 🙂
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“fat-cats cruise in silver birds across a cerulean arc”
You have such a way with words. Bravo!
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I wasn’t altogether happy with that line, actually, but I didn’t have time to re-think it this time. Glad it worked for you, anyway. 🙂
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That’s a great use of the photo-prompt. I wish I’d thought of that!
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I used to be much tangential in my response to the prompts, I guess. Thanks Neil.
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Dear Sandra,
I’m glad you decided to go with this story. It certainly bears repeating. I always appreciate a story that only makes a glancing reference to the prompt. Beautifully done. I loved it then, I love it now.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It’s been great having the opportunity to re-visit some old work Rochelle. I’m always banging on about the fate of ‘spent’ stories. Thanks for your lovely comments.
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Beautiful!
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Thanks Graham! 🙂
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Oh I do like the way you mix the images of apocalyptic future and sweatshops… reminds me of Blade runner actually.
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Well it wasn’t so much an image of an apocalyptic future as a metaphor for greedy, wealthy businessmen flying around in their private jets while the ‘wasps’ below buzzed away making money for them and getting killed in the process. But hey, it works either way, I guess. 🙂 Thanks for commenting Bjorn.
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I just imagined the old cloth factories in the heart of NYC back in the 20’s, child labor, such poor working conditions…the deadly fires, etc. Such a poignant way to share it. Good writing!
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Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.
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The descriptions are great. You get a real feel for the whole story.
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Thanks Al. 🙂
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Brilliant, such a tragic ending, I didn’t see it coming at all.
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Thanks for reading, Iain.
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Doesn’t make me want to go to HK, I must admit. Although that said it is the sort of place I’d like to see at least once, if even only for a couple of days.
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At the time we went, the flight path to the landing runway at the airport went right between these dreadful skyscrapers. I realised it was the stuff of my nightmares. It’s different now I believe – new airport.
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I love the way this story reads, brilliant.
Sad though in the end.
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Thanks for reading. 🙂
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I can’t get my head around how much atmosphere, description, social critique and drama you get into these hundred words. The repetition of the first line makes is especially powerful..
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I’m wondering whether I’ll be able to cut it when we go back to doing fresh prompts again. Thanks for your lovely comment. 🙂
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I’m sure you will. 😀
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I am running out of adjectives, and original thoughts, on your stories.
This is beautifully conceived and developed, with the kind of denouement that we all aspire to.
Magnificent.
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Thank you CE. Your comments are inspiring. 🙂
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Great story, you paint a vivid picture. The repetition of “The walls between our units were paper thin” was genius.
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Thank you, glad it worked for you. 🙂
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Just a wonderful read.
DJ
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Thanks Danny!
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My husband spent some of the 70s in Hong Kong before we met – he loved it, but then he was a fat cat. Unfortunately he also spent the money before we met! Great story – I can see why it’s a favourite.
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It’s all a matter of timing, Liz. Yours sounds pretty much like mine. 😉
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We lost everything in 2009 due to a fire, this hit home more than I thought it would. 😦
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That must have been awful. So sorry.
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It started out awful, then it became an adventure and turned into the best time in our relationship. One day I will write about it (I think).
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I’ve been told the catacombs of my mind are paper thin as well. The doctor said not to get any water in my ear. It could create a flood of biblical proportions and destroy what’s left of my common sense.
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Gosh that last line! Well told
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Thank you Laurie. 🙂
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sad plight of folks living worse than bees in a hive.
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Killer last line! You always inspire me!
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Thank you Clare. 🙂
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Great story and sadly a true one! Exploitation illustrated to the kilt!
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Afraid so. 😦 Thanks for reading and commenting.
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I agree with the others: great job! When I read the line about “human cargoes” and especially the last line I realized “sweat shop”!
The theme of the lifestyle of the rich being on the backs of the poor is a tragically ancient message, even appearing in the Bible.(Ignoring this message was fatal for Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette!)
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Never under-estimate the underdog, I always say. Thanks for reading.
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Your story reminds me how lucky I am to live where I do.
Very thoughtful.
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Thanks for reading Dawn. 🙂
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Wonderfully atmospheric and full of feeling. Tragically, true to life too. Brilliant descriptions – I love the contrast between the world of labour and danger below with the rich up above it all in the clean, open sky.
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Thanks Margaret, glad you liked it. 🙂
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Well written social commentary Sandra, using the nest to depict the living and working conditions was very apt
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Beautifully told and extremely atmospheric. A brilliantly told tragedy, Sandra.
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Tragic story and yet too close to truth.
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