Back Catalogue – Friday Fictioneers, October 2016

 

Copyright Claire Fuller

Copyright Claire Fuller

 

Tom filed Valerie, his last conquest, on the shelves labelled ‘Good Listener’, right between ‘Sex No Strings’- where Alana languishes – and Sharon’s ‘Ego Massager’ niche.

His social bookshelves have flourished ever since he negotiated puberty.

He occasionally browses his collection, briefly reprising an item from ‘Beautiful but Brainless’, or ‘Fun but Flat-chested’.  At this stage of his life, however, his taste gravitates towards ‘Recently Released’.

He’s now encountered Felicity, and realises that there’s always been an empty spot in his existence for ‘Soul Mate’.

Felicity, however, has recently re-catalogued her own collection.

Tom has been classified.

Plonker – Ancient Volume’.

Emerging briefly from the packing cases, I rather cobbled this together.  I’ve been missing Friday Fictioneers but am hoping to be back on a regular basis from now on.  Thanks to Rochelle, who in the midst of all her proof-reading still finds time to help me to participate.  Looking forward to reading your book as soon as it’s out there, Rochelle.

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About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
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74 Responses to Back Catalogue – Friday Fictioneers, October 2016

  1. Dear Sandra,

    I’m doing my best choreographed happy dance at seeing you here. Happy to help. 😉

    I love it that you show us the flip side of the classifieds coin. Good for Felicia. You haven’t lost your touch. That last line made me laugh out loud.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Planker. That is a great word. Excellent take on the photo.

    Like

  3. Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant.

    Like

  4. Iain Kelly says:

    Excellent take. Tom’s a bit of a plonker, but I can’t help feeling a little sorry for him if he has finally learned that what he needs is a soul mate! Very well written.

    Like

  5. ceayr says:

    A superb reminder that there are – at least – two sides to everything.
    And excellent writing means that we don’t like Tom, but admire Felicity for doing exactly the same thing.

    Like

  6. Brilliant as ever, Sandra. Killer last line, you really made me laugh out loud!

    Like

  7. Lynn Love says:

    Ah! So well written. Note perfect in everyway, from the tone he takes (which puts our backs up immediately) to the way he is treated in the way dismissive way he’s treated others. A true gem, Sandra 🙂 And hope the unpacking is nearly at an end! 🙂

    Like

  8. Indira says:

    Great. I was missing your stories Sandra.

    Like

  9. Sandra, this made me laugh! Finally, when good old Tom has at last realized he actually needs someone, Felicity puts him in his place. (And I’ll try to fit Plonker into my vocabulary along with gob-smacked.)

    Like

  10. Thanks for the laugh. Yup, Karma is bitch.
    Tracey

    Liked by 1 person

  11. misskzebra says:

    This piece is a little bit brutal, I think, though Tom gets what he deserves. A very creative take on the prompt, I think.

    Like

  12. Graham Lawrence says:

    Wonderful. It’s been a while since I heard the word Plonker. Made me laugh through my coffee 🙂

    Like

  13. Ouch!
    That would hurt his pride in more ways than one.

    Like

  14. draliman says:

    Great one! What goes around, comes around…

    Like

  15. Michael Wynn says:

    I love all the categories. This really made me laugh

    Like

  16. Lizy says:

    We’ve all known a few plonkers – not all of us have rejected them!

    Like

  17. Dale says:

    Aaaaaannnnd… ZAP! I love this, you’ve no idea how much. And I, too, am adding a new word to my vocabulary. Plonker. Yep, definitely using that one!

    Like

  18. Laurie Bell says:

    Hahahahaha brilliant last line! Plonker indeed! Sandra, great one this week

    Like

  19. Laurie Bell says:

    Hahahahaha absolutely brilliant Sandra. Plonker indeed! Well told. A fun one.

    Like

  20. helenmidgley says:

    I was chuckling out loud all the way through 😉

    Like

  21. Wonderful revenge at the end — and I learned a new dismissive word (though I don’t know the exact meaning — I can image!).
    Great story telling, as always.

    Like

  22. Spot on, Felicity! In my experience, most guys who start talking about searching for a soulmate are plonkers. Some of them do grow out of it though, especially if enough women call them plonkers.
    Well told, Sandra. I loved it.

    Like

  23. “Plonker,” what a great word to describe him! Loved this story. very creative!!

    -Rachel

    Like

  24. mjlstories says:

    Just the right playfulness – he had it coming but she could have said far worse than that lovely word!

    Like

  25. Ha, who said that it’s mutual… at first you were going Bluebeard… but this was much much better.

    Like

  26. plaridel says:

    it looked like he finally met his match. 🙂

    Like

  27. ansumani says:

    Brilliant narrative! Enjoyed this!

    Like

  28. Great story! I’d be lucky to be classified “plonker” on my best day.

    Like

  29. Great story! I’d be lucky to be a plonker on my best day.

    Like

  30. Amy Reese says:

    Ha! It serves that Plonker right. I love the categories, Sandra. They add so much color.

    Like

  31. LOL…I was not expecting that!
    Thank you.

    Like

  32. Skillfully executed from the very gifted, Sandra. You never disappoint. Superb ..!!!
    Isadora 😎

    Like

  33. I really enjoyed this one. Love your sense of humor with the classifications!

    Like

  34. Dahlia says:

    Haha – awesome write 😀

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

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