Copyright Claire Fuller
Tom filed Valerie, his last conquest, on the shelves labelled ‘Good Listener’, right between ‘Sex No Strings’- where Alana languishes – and Sharon’s ‘Ego Massager’ niche.
His social bookshelves have flourished ever since he negotiated puberty.
He occasionally browses his collection, briefly reprising an item from ‘Beautiful but Brainless’, or ‘Fun but Flat-chested’. At this stage of his life, however, his taste gravitates towards ‘Recently Released’.
He’s now encountered Felicity, and realises that there’s always been an empty spot in his existence for ‘Soul Mate’.
Felicity, however, has recently re-catalogued her own collection.
Tom has been classified.
‘Plonker – Ancient Volume’.
Emerging briefly from the packing cases, I rather cobbled this together. I’ve been missing Friday Fictioneers but am hoping to be back on a regular basis from now on. Thanks to Rochelle, who in the midst of all her proof-reading still finds time to help me to participate. Looking forward to reading your book as soon as it’s out there, Rochelle.
castelsarrasin 
Dear Sandra,
I’m doing my best choreographed happy dance at seeing you here. Happy to help. 😉
I love it that you show us the flip side of the classifieds coin. Good for Felicia. You haven’t lost your touch. That last line made me laugh out loud.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle, glad I could lighten your day! 🙂
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Planker. That is a great word. Excellent take on the photo.
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Plonker – there’s a world of difference. 🙂 Thanks, glad you liked it.
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Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant.
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Thanks Claire! 🙂
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Lovely, Sandra
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Thanks Neil. 🙂
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Excellent take. Tom’s a bit of a plonker, but I can’t help feeling a little sorry for him if he has finally learned that what he needs is a soul mate! Very well written.
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I believe it’s called Karma. 🙂 Thanks for reading.
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A superb reminder that there are – at least – two sides to everything.
And excellent writing means that we don’t like Tom, but admire Felicity for doing exactly the same thing.
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Thank you. Indeed there are always two sides, and what goes around generally comes around too. ;(
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Brilliant as ever, Sandra. Killer last line, you really made me laugh out loud!
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Glad you liked it. 🙂
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Brilliantly funny.
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Thank you Clare 🙂
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Ah! So well written. Note perfect in everyway, from the tone he takes (which puts our backs up immediately) to the way he is treated in the way dismissive way he’s treated others. A true gem, Sandra 🙂 And hope the unpacking is nearly at an end! 🙂
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We’re getting through the last of the boxes now Lynn. Thanks for reading, glad you liked it.
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My pleasure as always 🙂
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Great. I was missing your stories Sandra.
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Thanks Indira. 🙂
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Sandra, this made me laugh! Finally, when good old Tom has at last realized he actually needs someone, Felicity puts him in his place. (And I’ll try to fit Plonker into my vocabulary along with gob-smacked.)
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I love the word ‘plonker’. It has a gentle ring to it, I find. 🙂
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It’s up there with Neil’s “knobbly rock” 🙂
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Thanks for the laugh. Yup, Karma is bitch.
Tracey
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It certainly is. I wouldn’t be without it. 😉
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This piece is a little bit brutal, I think, though Tom gets what he deserves. A very creative take on the prompt, I think.
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Thank you! 🙂
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Wonderful. It’s been a while since I heard the word Plonker. Made me laugh through my coffee 🙂
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You should have seen the word I wrote before I changed it to ‘plonker’. Or maybe you shouldn’t… 😉
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Ha!
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Ouch!
That would hurt his pride in more ways than one.
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It was due some grief, I think. Thanks for visiting.
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🙂 any time, missed see you around.
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Great one! What goes around, comes around…
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I’ve always believed that. And a helping hand never did a jot of harm… 🙂
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I love all the categories. This really made me laugh
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Thanks Michael. Glad you enjoyed it.
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We’ve all known a few plonkers – not all of us have rejected them!
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🙂 🙂
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Aaaaaannnnd… ZAP! I love this, you’ve no idea how much. And I, too, am adding a new word to my vocabulary. Plonker. Yep, definitely using that one!
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Hahahahaha brilliant last line! Plonker indeed! Sandra, great one this week
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Hahahahaha absolutely brilliant Sandra. Plonker indeed! Well told. A fun one.
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Thanks Laurie. 🙂
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I was chuckling out loud all the way through 😉
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Glad you liked it Helen. 🙂
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Wonderful revenge at the end — and I learned a new dismissive word (though I don’t know the exact meaning — I can image!).
Great story telling, as always.
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I think the word derives from the word ‘plonk’ as in alcohol (wine). 🙂 Thanks for reading.
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Plonk for wine is new to me too! I like words with “sounds” in them. : ] :
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Spot on, Felicity! In my experience, most guys who start talking about searching for a soulmate are plonkers. Some of them do grow out of it though, especially if enough women call them plonkers.
Well told, Sandra. I loved it.
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🙂 Thanks Sarah!
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“Plonker,” what a great word to describe him! Loved this story. very creative!!
-Rachel
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Thanks Rachel. 🙂
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Just the right playfulness – he had it coming but she could have said far worse than that lovely word!
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In the first draft, she did. But then I took a second look at it. 😉
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Ha, who said that it’s mutual… at first you were going Bluebeard… but this was much much better.
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Yes, I resisted the bodies this week, Bjorn. Thanks for reading.
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it looked like he finally met his match. 🙂
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It does rather. Thanks for reading.
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Brilliant narrative! Enjoyed this!
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Thank you!
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Great story! I’d be lucky to be classified “plonker” on my best day.
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Great story! I’d be lucky to be a plonker on my best day.
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I can hardly believe that Perry, my friend. 🙂
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Ha! It serves that Plonker right. I love the categories, Sandra. They add so much color.
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They’ve lent colour to his life, I think. But time moves relentlessly on… 🙂
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LOL…I was not expecting that!
Thank you.
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Thank you for reading, Dawn.
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Skillfully executed from the very gifted, Sandra. You never disappoint. Superb ..!!!
Isadora 😎
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Thanks Isadora. 🙂
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I really enjoyed this one. Love your sense of humor with the classifications!
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Thanks Emily. 🙂
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Haha – awesome write 😀
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Many thanks Dahlia, glad you enjoyed it.
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