Copyright Jean L Hays
The few people passing this way, since the new highway was built, hope to find someone… or lose them.
Suspecting the latter, Joe let the blonde stay. She was no trouble.
One morning he watched her on the porch, scenting the air like a wolf; later that day she was gone.
The next arrival, practically glowing with malevolence, spotted the wildflowers in a jam-jar on the windowsill.
He grabbed Joe by the throat.
“She went that-a-way,” Joe rasped, pointing.
The man turned left at the crossroads; later, still hurting, Joe limped right.
He’d found someone.
He wasn’t about to lose her.
November has never been my favourite month, and I’m amazed to find we’re already into it. I loathe the darker evenings. Even the news that two of my older short stories are to be published in anthologies has failed to raise my spirits much, or to prompt me back into submitting work once again. Head down, I think, and just plough on into December. However, my little ray of sunshine, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields still manages to stay ahead of the Friday Fictioneers game, despite all that she has to do. Inspirational!
castelsarrasin 
Hi Sandara. This is up to your usual standard of darkness – November has done its sinister work. And congratulations on the reprints by the way. Just one tiny niggle with this story. We’re in Joe’s point of view, whereas her disappearance is in the point of view of an external observer. The pacing and structure of the line “One morning he watched her on the porch, scenting the air like a wolf; later that day she was gone” is lovely, but it’s confusing
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That’s interesting. I don’t see it that way at all. I read the ‘she was gone’ as an internalisation of an observation. But if it confused you, there must be something in what you say. Thanks for mentioning it; I’ll give it some more thought.
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Dear Sandra,
There’s so much story between the lines. Hopefully things will work out for Joe and the blonde.
I know what you mean about November. Getting ready to set the clocks back Sunday so that it will be even darker earlier. Your story is a bright spot this morning.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks for reading Rochelle. We put ours back last week, and now I’ve been robbed of my evening ritual, a beer in the conservatory whilst watching the sun go down. It’s way too early for a beer when the sun goes down now! No wonder I’m depressed. 😦
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Oh no. Have the beer anyway. Life is short.
I like your story about looking for, or hiding from.
My story is about leaving from…
The light will return, it is written.
Tracey
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I agree with Tracey. Cheers!
I too loathe the change from daylight savings time, but November brings deer season, my grandson’s birthday, and Thanksgiving. A trifecta of fun.
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Mysterious, Sandra. I’m guessing Joe went to find the woman. Anyway, good writing as always. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I forgot to mention important information. Congratulations on your two stories being printed in anthologies. That’s great, Sandra!. 🙂 — Suzanne
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It can be taken in whatever way you like, Suzanne. Maybe he went to find the woman, maybe he spirited her away – but that wasn’t the way I meant it to read. Thanks for reading.
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Wonderful as ever, whole lives in 100 words.
Your tiny details – scenting the air, wildflowers in a jam-jar – make the magic.
But you stretch my credulity with ‘little ray of sunshine’!
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Hey, there! Can’t you see the sunshine just oozing from every pore. Um, never mind.
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I knew I was pushing it a bit there. 🙂 Thanks for your comments.
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Picture that he has her chained in a cave somewhere, maybe?
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Could be. 🙂
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Beautiful. And so much going on in it.
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Thank you Louise. 🙂
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Dark nights are for reading, but may the sun shine and keep you writing, I always enjoy reading your stories. Mike
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Thank you Mike. 🙂
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I don’t know what to think of Joe…I wonder if he is going to help her or just keep her for himself. Intriguing and delightfully sinister. Right there with you on November, depressing as hell.
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It could be read either way, I guess, though I intended he was out to save her for himself. And November… pah!
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Hey, I like your Joe a lot better than mine… somehow I can actually see that there are similarities between our stories. A tough world for women.
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Tough indeed. But we’re up to it. 😉 Thanks for reading Bjorn.
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I like to think she was onto the both of them and made an early getaway by herself!!
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It’s nice that there’s apparently more than one interpretation. Thanks for reading Dale.
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I love when there is more than one!
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Mysterious and thought provoking, just the kind I enjoy. Marvelous job telling so much in so little.
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Thank you Jean. And for the re-tweet. 🙂
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I’ll never know how you manage to cram so much story in so few words – you’re a whizz, Sandra. A really good tale, brimming with intrigue and secrets to uncover. Will he save his girl? Great stuff.
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Thanks Lynn, you’re very kind. Hope all is well with you.
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My pleasure. You all unpacked now, Sandra? 🙂
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Yes just about. The only thing missing now is a couple of saucepan lids! I think I may have thrown them away with the wrapping paper. Duh!
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Oh no, what a pain! Glad the unpacking’s nearly done and you can sit back and ejoy your new home – lids or no lids 🙂
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Intriguing tale indeed! As for Joe – mmm, not too sure about him!
My silly story!
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It pays to be cautious I think. Thanks for reading, enjoyed your story.
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A beautifully woven story with minimal words and maximum effect.
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Many thanks! 🙂
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Loved this very much.
He saved her or hid her away like a brave knight.
Good on Joe.
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His motives may not be all they seem, but that’s fine by me. 🙂 Thankyou.
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Nice story, I can see this as a classic Hollywood noir film in the 50s. Great scene.
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Thanks Iain. 🙂
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She was no trouble. This line says a lot about Joe and the blonde. Well done.
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Sometimes that’s all a man expects of his woman. I believe. 😉
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The tone for this is nice! It recalls the old days of the 1940’s. A little noir kind of texture. Sandra, this is great!
You need to come to Kansas City — we have temps in the 80’s F right now which is unusually warm here at this time.
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Sounds wonderful, Kent. It’s been pretty mild here until now but winter is now tightening its grip. Thanks for reading.
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You’re welcome. You and the family really need to plan a trip here, you know. 😉
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A lot of action in your 100 words–nicely told! I like the detail of the flowers in the jar.
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Thank you, Emily.
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I like Joe and refuse to see the other options. How’s that for November sunshine? Great writing as always, and congrats, you deserve it. I like the wildness of November, the roughness of storms, colours peeking through the grey, falling leaves, colder days.
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Ah! A half-full person. I need some more of them in my life. 🙂
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I guess that’s what I am, yes, always hopeful. You wouldn’t say so if you only looked at my SF… 😉 So, if you need some positive vibes, yell.
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I’m guessing the flowers on the windowsill gave her away. I hope he finds her, they could be made for each other.
Congratulations on getting your work published!
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Spot on! And thank you.
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I’ve just read your story and your beginning is similar to mine but I do like the direction that your story travelled.
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“dripping malevolence” – wonderful choice of words. I hope Joe limped fast enough.
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I’m ever hopeful. 🙂 Thanks Lizy
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Amazing story! I love the first line.
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Thank you!
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Mysterious.You can take it any way. Interesting. Congrats for two stories being published.
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Thanks Indira.
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Wow great one… i want to know more. I hope shes okay and that he does find her.
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The nice guy i mean… not the crazy
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🙂 Thanks Laurie.
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Super write … but … what else would Sandra do. Genius !!!
No writers block just plenty of yummy things to think about after reading.
I like that there are a few interpretations. I think the blond is hiding from her abusive husband.
Joe’s trying to keep her safe. And, she’s pretty to look at from his point of view. ~~~ : – )
Congratulations on your 2 stories being published. Time for a HAPPY DANCE.
Isadora 😎
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Yes, I’m pleased you got it Isadora. I don’t think I made it so clear this week – over-editing I guess. Thank you for your lovely comments.
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😎
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i wonder if she’s caged somewhere like a treasured pet.
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My view is that he is hiding her from whoever the angry guy is. “Later that day she was gone” means she is gone from view but not gone for real. I think. Maybe. Kind of sort of.
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Probably hiding from the short wooden guy with the big nose.
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As a youth, I watch a lot of westerns.“She went that-a-way,” is one of my favorite lines. Thanks for including it in this tale of romance.
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Couldn’t resist it, Russell. Thanks for reading.
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Congratulations on the publications! I’m not too sure about Joe. I can’t decide whether he is as bad as the second visitor or not! I love the intrigue!
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He could go either way, I think. Thanks for reading, Clare.
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Hi Sandra – I’ve just joined Friday Fictioneers so nice to meet you.
I really like the undertone of menace but juxtaposed against the flowers in the jar, nice touch!
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thank you, and welcome.
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Well done!
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At first you wonder bout Joe’s motives but the excellent detail of limping to the right infers he’s not totally altruistic. Great read
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Thanks for reading Michael.
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Wonder if she is the reason the wildflowers are doing well. Always looking out for a good potting mix now that summer is here in the Southern hemisphere.
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Pushing up the daisies, hey? Thanks for visiting.
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I still worry about the blond. Joe maybe not as evil as the last guy but he is still a little possessive. Good story that makes you think.
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Good that you saw that, Dawn. Thanks for reading.
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well a bit of mystery for me
http://obliqview.blogspot.in/2016/11/the-trading-post-prompt-jean-l-hays.html
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I explain fully in response to Dawn’s comment below. Sorry it didn’t work for you.
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Perhaps it’s a writer’s crush, but I’m loath to criticize anything you do… though I was a bit confused too. Or, perhaps it’s the election wine I’m already drinking… I have thrown out a FB invite to anyone who wants to drink all day tomorrow–– something I’ve never actually done. I love your writing; the phrasing here is wonderful, the story intriguing, but yes, I’m a little confused. And blurry. (blame it on a day of calling voters in swing states and months of anxiety!)
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You should always feel free to criticize Dawn. It’s clear that the story lost something in the editing down to 100. Basically, she was running from someone, the main character let her stay, one day she sensed her persecutor coming, disappeared. The persecutor saw the flowers in the window, knew she’d been here, tried to force him to say where she’d gone and the main character sent him in the wrong direction, before going after her for himself. Now that I say all that, I see it probably was a bit too much for 100. 🙂 I did like, however, that a little element of ‘yet another control freak’ peeked out in the last line. Hope you’re not drowning your sorrows today. 😉
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Wow! I think I did in fact miss the boat on that one! ( 😉 see what I did there? ) Usually, I see all the twists and turn in your stories, but I didn’t here. It’s a lot of story, and alas… my thoughts were probably not entirely focused.
Yes, still in shock. Several of us have said it feels much like the days just after 9/11. We know something terrible has happened, but it’s so hard to wrap our brains around it. Each time they say President-elect Trump, I feel a bit more shaken. We will all move on, but I hope something better comes out of all this. That is the only hope I have right now… the HP piece was about waking up; now I just feel foolish. Probably more answer than you were seeking… 😉 Thanks for the wonderful explanation of the story, Sandra! Have a good weekend. 🙂
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