Access Denied – Friday Fictioneers, November 2016

Copyright C E Ayr

Copyright C E Ayr

“It was awful, Mum.”

I hold her tight, and the sobbing slowly subsides.

My heart aches for her, but I’ve seethed as she’s preened, teased and tantalised; I’ve brooded as she’s experimented, testing the boundaries, flexing her burgeoning sexuality.

The man I loved should have known better, of course.

Harry’s gone now – out of our lives – shamed, embarrassed, apologetic and denying devious intent.

“Your daughter’s a drama queen,” he’d protested, “don’t let her destroy us.”

But I couldn’t take that chance.

Robbie, my youngest, watches uncertainly from the kitchen door.

“Is it just us again now, Mum?”

“Just us, son.”

I haven’t recommenced writing new work  yet,  but I have started editing and resubmitting some old work so I’m feeling brighter again.  Rochelle, star not only of Friday Fictioneers, but also stage, screen and radio… (well, radio – I’m sure the others will come in due course) has been spreading the word about her work.  Catch it if you can, she comes across as one smart, sassy lady.

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin'. Bookmark the permalink.

66 Responses to Access Denied – Friday Fictioneers, November 2016

  1. neilmacdon says:

    I love this, The depth of the story is in the gaps

    Like

  2. Iain Kelly says:

    A lot behind the words written for the imagination to work with about the evil harm that has been done. At least he has gone now. Great effort Sandra.

    Like

  3. Very deep and complex story, it left me feeling quite emotional.

    Like

  4. Dear Sandra,

    As has been said, there’s a lot of story here between the lines. Thankfully, Mum has made the right choice. Well done. Thank you for the shout out re my interview and the including the link.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  5. This is brilliant. Such a prick trial and 100 words. One of your best.

    Like

  6. Lots of tension in this piece.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. michael1148humphris says:

    A great piece of writing. I loved where you took this. Mike

    Like

  8. ceayr says:

    Powerful family drama, as expertly produced as ever.
    Marvellous.

    Like

  9. So many things to think about in this. Yes, she’s made the right choice, but, something in her son’s line makes me wonder whether the scenario won’t just play out again and again.

    Like

  10. Sandra says:

    As the author, I feel I ought to have a plan and a motive for all of my characters, but as you’ll know, they do what they want. I wonder whether the boy isn’t secretly pleased. Thanks for reading.

    Like

  11. Lynn Love says:

    A great tale, Sandra – love how you’ve added depth to the mother, giving her a disapproving tone, slightly less sympathetic than you’d assume. So real. As always, beautifully written

    Like

  12. Dale says:

    This was absolutely brilliant. Yes, so much story in the untold part. And so much in the told…

    Like

  13. So well done. The chosen words, the tone, the implications all leads the reader to fill in the complete story, You are truly a master at the craft.

    Like

  14. Michael Wynn says:

    This is very powerful and for the reasons you mention, the things unsaid. The little boy’s question at the end is perfect and just how it would happen

    Like

  15. helenmidgley says:

    Such a lot said in so few words, skillfully done 🙂

    Like

  16. The things that happen in front of closed doors are but a tease of the horrors behind the door.

    Like

  17. I think sometimes you simply have to chose…and as mother there is no other choice to be made…I really love her doubt, that still makes her resolute.

    Like

  18. Astute insight into an awful situation. So much said in so few words!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. The tip of the iceberg. That’s what a good story is all about. So much unsaid. You are a delight.

    Like

  20. “Don’t let her destroy us,” makes me wonder about what really happened. Very well written, now I am left with my thoughts.

    Like

  21. Behind closed doors…
    Thank goodness the doors were finally flung open

    My story is called Sally’s Secret

    Like

  22. plaridel says:

    the father could be more understanding. well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. wmqcolby says:

    Wow, wow and WOW! Sandra, you out did yourself. It’s story on story on story. You also hit the nail on the head when you said, “I’ve always believed that what isn’t said should speak as loudly as what is.” This is how screenwriters do it. It’s better to let it speak for itself.

    BRAVO!!! Ten out of five perplexities.

    Like

  24. jwdwrites says:

    I don’t know if it is the first person point of view that makes it so personal in this case, but there is always such an authenticity to all of your characters I am always impressed by what you manage to conjure both in your prose and in the imagery that they invoke. Beautiful writing. 🙂

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      Interesting observation about POV jwd. Sometimes when a story isn’t working out, I’ll change the point of view and it often resolves the block. The first person POV also has, I’ve found, a particular advantage in a three-person, one hundred word story, which is that you don’t waste words on dialogue-tagging or clarifying who said what. There’s simply I, he and she and generally it’s obvious from the speech content which of the other two characters is speaking. Thanks for reading and commenting, I’m so glad it worked for you.

      Like

  25. At the end of the day, a mother will always draw her family close, warts and all.

    Like

  26. draliman says:

    Chilling to think of what might have happened between the lines, or where mum suspected it might have been going had she let him stay. Nice one!

    Like

  27. Dahlia says:

    100 words and 4 characters – each more interesting than the other! Loved it – can make for nice long novel 🙂

    Like

  28. Rowena says:

    Sandra, very well written with such complexity and layering, especially for 100 words.For me there’s also a tension in the possibility she might’ve let him stay. Her decision isn’t entirely clear cut but I guess she does what she believes is right. You’ve managed to establish the different motives and angles of the different characters very well.
    xx Rowena

    Like

  29. Lizy says:

    Never, ever, take a chance with your children. Excellent!

    Like

  30. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover says:

    What more is there to say. I agree with the comments that it is what was not said that add true depth to the story. I love that the Mother seethed at her daughter’s growing sexuality, such a true emotional response. I also love that the Mother did choose to protect her children. I am not sure if the inquiry of “Is it just us again now, Mum?” if hopeful or not. Masterful writing.

    Like

  31. Maddie's Mama says:

    This made me cringe. You say so much about what they’ve been through in just a few key words. Hope they stay far away from that past!

    Like

  32. i b arora says:

    what has been left unsaid hits you more than what has been said, great

    http://obliqview.blogspot.in/2016/11/the-convict-prompt-ceayr-surprisingly.html

    Like

  33. rgayer55 says:

    Maybe Mum should just get a pet next time. Men are a lot of trouble and often laden with baggage.

    Like

  34. Margaret says:

    Such complex emotions and relationships here. I can relate to the agony of raising daughters, but thankfully not to the agony of the presence of a predatory man in the mix. Wonderfully and convincingly portrayed in this story, as usual.

    Like

  35. Good writing as always, Sandra. Men like that sicken me. They ruin young lives. It’s almost equivalent to physical killing. It kills the spirit. At least that was one mother who acted. —- Suzanne

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s