On a More Practical Note – Friday Fictioneers, March 2017

Copyright Shaktiki Sharma

She’s not sure why she’s done this.

Because she could?  That convenient mantra inspires most of her transgressions, a glib response that unnerves even the most detached interrogator.

She presses her face into the pillow, inhaling his man-smell, and slides her legs across the cold side of the bed.

Does she wish she hadn’t?  Possibly.  But only because then there’d still be a treat in store, a prospect to cherish.

She lifts the pillow.  Stares down, remembering the good times.

He won’t be hard to replace, she’s sure of that.

Difficult to remove though; maybe a shorter guy next time.

 

My second murder story in four days – my husband is giving me sidelong glances.  I suspect this prompt probably depicts a multi-coloured grasshopper, but I saw a Preying Mantis – that’s the mood I’m in.  After a couple of forays enjoying the luxury of 150 words and 200 words, I’m dipping into the stricter 100 word regime of Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers.  And it’s tough!

Advertisements

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin'. Bookmark the permalink.

87 Responses to On a More Practical Note – Friday Fictioneers, March 2017

  1. neilmacdon says:

    And you made every word count, Sandra

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LOL to the comment about your husband. I would be worried too. At least she didn’t bite his head off. I like how off-handish this sounds.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Sandra,

    I can understand those sidelong glances from your husband. He’d better be nice to you…very, very nice. 😉 Personally, I love where the prompt took you. Your MC is one cold woman. As always, you show the rest of us how it’s done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  4. She is definitely cold. I feel sorry for her next victim. And your comment on your husband’s sidelong glances! Makes me laugh out loud. Good story and characterisation.

    Like

  5. Looking skeptically at the bathtub, wondering if he’ll fit or if she needs to spread trash bags on the floor, maybe? Nice use of the prompt. The human mantis!

    Like

  6. In your world, Sandra, men should be more wary!

    Nicely structured story as always, beginning, middle, and a kicker.

    Like

  7. jellico84 says:

    Thanks for the id on the insect. Thought it was a grasshopper, but they’re green here so it threw me. Love the story. 🙂 ❤

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      Ooooh, don’t take my word for it being a Preying Mantis. I’m the girl who lost 20% of the available marks in the Biology GCSE for wrongly identifying a stickleback specimen as an earth-worm. Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

      • jellico84 says:

        Grasshopper of some sort. Someone actually id’d it, but that was this morning and it’s slipped my brain at the moment. Listening to a lecture for a Ham radio exam and checking my comments.

        Like

  8. Iain Kelly says:

    Practical and cold-blooded. Your husband should be nervous. Great writing. 🙂

    Like

  9. trentpmcd says:

    Good one. Typically if I am on the lookout for a lover i don’t think about things like how easy it would be to dispose of the body… Not the first thing to cross my mind.

    Like

  10. James says:

    Besides a Biblical plague, that’s the other interpretation that immediately comes to mind. Yikes.

    Like

  11. I love the opening line! Was she at a loose end? Wanted a challenge? Doing a bit of tidying up? The more I think about it, the more it makes me smile!

    Like

  12. Dale says:

    Grasshopper, praying manits…we’re going to get technical on FF? I think not!
    And hubs better be on his best behaviour!
    Loved this.

    Like

  13. See, size does matter after all. 🙂

    Like

  14. Sandra says:

    🙂 🙂 Indeed it does.

    Like

  15. Esther Bernstein says:

    Ha! That last line is the perfect end.

    Like

  16. granonine says:

    That story warrants a shiver!

    Like

  17. Lynn Love says:

    That’s the most terrifying motivation – because you can. Horribly real feel inside the mind of a killer, Sandra – so well done

    Like

  18. Oh, she’s so matter-of-fact. Hopefully she is not too tall herself. Shorter may not be as fun.

    Like

  19. Practicality was the first word that came to mind when I finished reading this gem. I love how the tone and mood of the story start to paint a picture, just to smack us in the face with the canvas when we get to the end. Very clever.

    Like

  20. Rommy says:

    This was a chilling story, especially with the matter of fact tone throughout.

    Like

  21. Carl Bystrom says:

    Love this one. Dark and delightful. Thank you.

    Like

  22. plaridel says:

    she’s not one to cross. most definitely.

    Like

  23. Amy Reese says:

    Oh my, Sandra. I hope your husband is giving you roses and chocolates. 🙂 Love that ending. It hits just the right spot.

    Like

  24. Laurie Bell says:

    Oh gosh! Well told. I was worried about his head too

    Like

  25. draliman says:

    Chilling, a real black widow and the only remorse she feels is that the deed is over – for this time. Your last line made me smile 🙂

    Like

  26. I smelled manslaughter. Excellently written.

    Like

  27. Tamal says:

    So she ate the head? Great story.

    Like

  28. I bet your husband is sleeping with one eye open!

    Like

  29. I love the matter of fact way she views things! Very practical!

    Like

  30. Because she could… what a chilling reason… and the only reason for waiting is to build up anticipation… so cold blooded… but I guess you might get addicted to that.

    Like

  31. ah, love the linet: shorter man next time. lovely little serial killer?

    Like

  32. Martin Cororan says:

    …My suspicions of the opposite sex are finally confirmed! A great, macabre little story.

    Like

  33. I’m 6′ tall so I should be safe! Excellent tale.

    My story is called ‘THE DETECTIVE’

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Sounds like an episode of Criminal Minds! What’s going on deep in her subconscious?

    Like

  35. Liz Young says:

    As long as your murderous mood stays on paper your husband needn’t worry. Great story.

    Like

  36. k rawson says:

    Lol, my fiction has occasionally earned me those looks from my spouse too. Love the voice in this one. It was even more delightful on the second read through.

    Like

  37. rgayer55 says:

    Whew, that takes me off her list. It would be a real job to move my carcass.
    I guess you could have also titled this “MoreThan One Grasshopper in the Meadow.”

    Like

  38. subroto says:

    Urk! Such a matter of fact tone in here. Maybe invest in a compactor/composter for the next time. Nice one.

    Like

  39. I like how you got into the mind of a serial killer and made it look almost acceptable.

    Like

  40. Michael Wynn says:

    She’s deliciously cold and evil, I fear for the next ones

    Like

  41. gahlearner says:

    I love it. It’s scary how cold and matter of fact she is, but you told it in such a darkly humourous way that it makes me grin despite the shiver.

    Like

  42. You’ve depicted a very cool killer; and in 100 words. Bravo!

    Like

  43. Very noir. The femme fatale with a murderous streak. I love where this prompt has taken you. Excellent writing.

    Like

  44. Word count doesn’t seem to matter when it comes to you, Sandra, you spin your web so well! But yes, I’m glad a “pond” divides us; you send chills down my spine. 😉

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s