Not Quite Forgotten – Friday Fictioneers, April 2017

Copyright Liz Young

You’re a long time dead

You boarded the train, your fingers brushing briefly across my stomach.

Either that goes or I do

You sent postcards with no return address.

Livin’ the life, hon…

You left phone messages, withholding your number so you never knew you had a daughter.  I guess you never cared either.

One day you asked us to visit you.

For old times’ sake…

Those times were so old, I’d almost forgotten them, so I didn’t respond.

But now I know where you are.

And why.

And sometimes a whole week goes by without me thinking about you.

Fasten your seat-belts for a whole raft of misery this week.  I did toy with the idea of trying for humour in response to the prompt, but it seemed like a bridge too far in the time available to me.   Hopefully others may manage that.  Thanks to Rochelle for leading the pack of Friday Fictioneers, and her efforts in trying to get others to stick to the 100 word count.  Come on, with at least sixty or seventy submissions each week, you know it makes sense.  😉  

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About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

69 Responses to Not Quite Forgotten – Friday Fictioneers, April 2017

  1. neilmacdon says:

    I don’t think tombstones have a GSOH. Misery is good, and yours comes with a hefty ladle of menace

    Like

  2. So much pain and pathos and longing and unfulfillment. The cup of sorrow runneth in this excellent piece, Sandra.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Sandra,

    Sometimes a whole week goes by…stunning last line. You set the standard for the rest of us.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  4. And life goes on with or without us.

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  5. Reena Saxena says:

    Superb! Both the storytelling skills and the spirit of it.

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  6. This is wistful. Is the torment of not knowing worse than the finality of finding out? Nicely written, as always.

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  7. Sandra. Wrenching. I almost don’t want to read yours each week because I come away from it drained. Brilliantly done–again.

    Like

  8. Mike says:

    A great take on the prompt Sandra. Loved the poignancy running through the whole thing.

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  9. jellico84 says:

    Rather a harsh one here… but probably dead-on. Just enough mystery to create a prompt for a future write that goes into more details. Love it! 🙂

    Like

  10. Hope he’s somewhere horrible.

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  11. Oh, such longing in this story. “For old times sake” my eye. So well done, Sandra.

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  12. granonine says:

    Poignant. I think a lot of today’s posts will be poignant.

    Like

  13. Iain Kelly says:

    Yeah, I couldn’t get away from the misery either! Nice voice in the piece, a strong character.

    Like

  14. So much sense of misery and missed opportunities… and in the end it’s always too late.

    My father used to say: Afterwards is always too late.

    Like

  15. Did she kill him? That’s where I took the misery. I might have to watch cat videos between stories this week. Meow, Tracey

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Time might not heal all wounds, but it makes the pain more bearable, sometimes we even forget.

    Like

  17. michael1148humphris says:

    A story which allowed the reader room to think, great. I saw him as being in prison! And so she had made the right decisions years back.

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    • Sandra says:

      In my mind she’d managed to get over him, seen him for what he was worth and forgotten him. Then he did something that brought about his demise, something that made her revise her opinion of him and now he’s back, consuming her thoughts. But there were only 100 words… 😉

      Like

  18. Rommy Driks says:

    A person does not have to be physically dead to be dead to us. Likewise, they may still haunt us, if not as ghosts, then as memories that come back every week or so.

    Like

  19. Dale says:

    So wonderfully done, once again, Sandra. He doesn’t deserve to know his daughter.

    Like

  20. gahlearner says:

    I’m odd, but I saw a grim kind of humour in there, I read every line as “who needs you?” And like Tracey, I read murder. Maybe I should go watch kitten movies, too.

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  21. Excellent. Our minds went to the same place this week even though they took different roads along the way. I think he’s in prison. Seems to fit his character.

    Like

  22. rgayer55 says:

    I read this twice, maybe three times. In my opinion he should have been dead to her long ago, but it appears he kept coming back like a nagging hemorrhoid.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Barbed Words says:

    So sad! Sounds like she’s better off with out him.

    Like

  24. yuhublogger says:

    I love this character! So strong. A lovely read.

    Like

  25. Liz Young says:

    This is sad enough to tear me apart – well written, as ever.

    Like

  26. Laurie Bell says:

    Oh this is heartbreaking Sandra… I can’t help but think he is a total jerk. Just as she finally stops thinking about him he sucks her back in. He will never understand her pain of this. For the child its a tough choice. I would ignore the message. Arghhhh I hate guys like this. He makes it all about him but… grrrr I am quite steamed about this post this week Sandra. Soooooo well written!!

    Like

  27. plaridel says:

    i guess he joined ISIS and he’s now in jail. 🙂

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  28. Wow. I love the last line!

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  29. draliman says:

    Dead to her or actually dead? Given the tombstone and “now I know where you are” I’m guessing the latter. Maybe his lifestyle caught up with him. Nice one!

    Like

  30. Perhaps his ‘good life’ caught up with him. Well you know what they say about karma. I like how you used his phrases in between as part of the narrative – awesome. I will try to copy that some time. 😉

    Like

  31. Indira says:

    Excellent as usual.

    Like

  32. Lynn Love says:

    Just wonderfully done, Sandra. Beautifully structured and paced – perfect

    Like

  33. Sad.
    Good write
    But sad.

    Like

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