The fire is extinguished now, the building just a blackened, steaming skeleton.
Yet while the crowd disperses, something still blazes deep inside Chloe.
“Let’s go,” Joe says, taking her hand.
She shakes him off irritably, mesmerised by the ruins.
“In a minute.”
Unease chars the edges of his composure.
Could he be losing her? Has the conflagration reignited old embers, arousing some dangerously unpredictable spectre? Joe’s heard gossip… rumours.
Chloe finally turns away, energised and radiant, burrowing almost aggressively into his jacket.
And, inhaling the rancid petrol fumes on her hair, Joe understands he’s already lost her to her past.
Friday Fictioneers, under the leadership of the multi-talented Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, is a weekly gathering of writers and writing enthusiasts. Last week we attracted almost a hundred submissions once again. Why not join us?
Intriguing! What was her past?
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I believed the clue to be in the last line, Reena. Perhaps not. 😦
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A lovely chiller
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Thanks Neil.
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Excellent!
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Thanks, Hester.
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She started the fire – a keen arsonist or was there some other reason for this particular destruction? Something that needed to be destroyed. Mysterious, either way, I would think Joe would be better off without her!
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Thanks Iain. 🙂 In my mind she was a reformed pyromaniac, whose reformation was coming apart. And yes, he needs to move on. Or at least remove all the matches from his home. 🙂
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Haha yes. Don’t give her a lighter!
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Oh geez, there’s a crazy one!
I want to tell Joe to run away but he may be the only thing keeping her grounded…for now.
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You may be right, Dawn. 🙂
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Dear Sandra,
I’d say that’s a past Joe doesn’t want to compete with. Time to move on before it goes up in flames. Blazingly well written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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🙂 Thanks Rochelle. I was burning to get something out for this photo… sorry, I’ll get me coat.
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Great mystery–more story in what is left untold. Great take.
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Thank you!
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Great story. You do a great job in a few words of conveying the despair of watching a loved one take the step back toward self-destruction.
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Thank you. I think she might be falling off the (fire)wagon. 😦
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A case of “C’mon baby, go light yo’ own fires!”, I think. Good story.
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🙂 Thank you.
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Sandra, I like the way you used the fire-related words throughout. I think that arson/pyromania is in her not-too-distant future unless something unusual happens. Well done (so to speak.) 🙂
janet
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I ‘rarely’ see you on the FF posts, Janet. Are you thinking of dipping in again. Or perhaps you have, I’ve not been back to the linky for a few hours. It would not be before time, if you do.
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No, I haven’t made a jump back, just visiting your blog post as you’re someone I follow. I haven’t been good about even reading FF stories. Too much going on, I guess. Maybe I’ll get back again one day, at least off and on.
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Your final sentence tells us all we need to know. Excellent.
Click to read my FriFic!
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Thank you, Keith.
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I think that she’s lost to the pull of flames… the rumors were all true I guess.
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She’s a lost cause, I suspect Thanks for reading, Bjorn.
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Nice twist to end with. 🙂 Enjoyed it.
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Thank you! 🙂
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may I say that Jelli had my comment exactly – so I’d like to chime in here… 🙂
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Oh, how the whiff of the smallest thing can carry one back over the years. Not all are pleasant reccollections
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Hi Bryan,
I’ve been trying for three weeks to get in touch with you. You seem to be having a problem linking your stories. Because your links have led nowhere I’ve deleted them. It’s nothing personal. Help me to help you, please.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hi Rochelle, Each week I’ve posted a FFF story, they appear on your site only to disappear later. For example Fear at the old mill has gone from your site. What am I doing wrong?
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When you post to the inLinkz make sure your STORY URL goes in that first box. Whatever you’re pasting there is coming out as a page that leads nowhere. I’ve been banging my head trying to get ahold of you.
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Okay…I’ve linked you. And this should work The URL for it is https://intrepidoptimist.com/2017/09/27/fear-at-the-old-mill/
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Thanks for reading, Bryan. Looking forward to reading your stories soon.
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Arsonist.
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Yup.
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Oh! Lovely reveal at the end. I had no trouble seeing into her past. Well done.
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Thanks Alicia 🙂
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I really enjoyed this, Sandra and you crafted it well. There are so many moral dilemmas raised in this story. Should he dob her in? Should he leave? What should we do when we see the warning signs of quirky behaviour in our loves ones before it crescendoes like this? So many people have a fascination with fire and there’s a fine line at the start,I’m sure. I think people can be too quick to tell people to give up when their loved one hits troubled times, instead of standing by and helping them get through. So many of us have complications and we’re all only human in the end.
xx Rowena
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Whilst I’m always fascinated at the spectacle of flames, I’ve always found it hard to understand what motivates the pyromaniac. I’ve used that term because I think arson is setting fire for a variety of reasons, whilst pyromania is for the love of it. It must be difficult to treat.
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There was a great pyromaniac in a movie and I can’t remember which one of who played him but at the thought of fire his eyes lit up bright and he said: “Burn baby burn” with chilling glee.
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Ms Firebug can maybe put the past to rest now.
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Thanks for reading, Christine.
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Once a firestarter, always a firestarter eh? I wonder what drives people to do it? A masterful piece of writing as always Sandra – sad for their relationship with some very sinister overtones.
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I wonder that too, Lynn. I’ve always nurtured a strong aversion to fire.
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It is pretty terrifying stuff and just plain odd – is it a solid? A gas? Weird. You can see why ancient people found creating it such a big deal.
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Run, Joe, Run! If her love of lighting things on fire just for the pleasure of it is that strong, he must let go…
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I think so, too. Thanks for reading, Dale.
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Oooh! There’s an arsonist about!
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Indeed.
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I really like the descriptive words you used and how it fed into the story (chars, reignites old embers, blazes). I wonder what was in that building that needed to go away in a puff of smoke (bad pun, I tried anyway).
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I’m not sure there’s any motive other than the need to see flames so far as a pyromaniac is concerned 😦
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Chilling! Yet, I couldn’t help empathising with Chloe, maybe we all have dangerous demons in us that we have kept on leash 🙂
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Great last line! What will Joe do now? Nice one!
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A well told tale. The clever use of fire related words throughout means the reveal is more the confirmation of an increasing suspicion rather than a twist. And that’s just fine, because you’ve written a good crescendo to that point. As Joe smells the petrol fumes you think, “Oh no, it’s true then.”
The two characters are vividly drawn and believable; you’ve given a good sense of their larger story together.
Well done!
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Thank you for commenting, Penny.
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Very intriguing!
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Tragic, and beautifully written.
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Oh, there’s something about those flames! 😉
Well written.
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this keeps me wondering who set the fire? a couple of suspects i can see.
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Ooooooooo wow well told. Clever. Great hook here. He has indeed lost her
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This is such a perfectly crafted piece of story. The two divergent characters came alive, one a little more blazingly. The ending was the piece de resistance. Well done, Sandra.
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Thanks, Neel.
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I used to work with a volunteer fireman. I mentioned driving by a fire that was never shown on TV or reported in the paper. He said if they suspect arson, it wouldn’t be in the news. Publicizing it only encouraged the arsonist to start another blaze.
You showed us a lot about these two characters in 100 words. Well done, as usual.
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That’s an interesting insight, Russell.
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I like the smoke and fire metaphors. She needs help. Joe too.
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You’ve written a great story!
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Thank you!
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Hi Sandra,
I enjoyed the story. Well written, subtly menacing and a portent of evil to come…
But…(and I acknowledge freely and with admiration that I’ve never had to utter a word of critique in any of your stories I’ve had the pleasure to read) …I think that the odor of petrol and the word rancid do not mix well. The origins of petrol and the specificity of the definition of rancid make it a stretch. Perhaps your choice was artistically driven or maybe you were looking for a word to heighten the impact of dawning realization that there was the smell of an accelerant coming from the bag. I understand what you were going for… but… and here my comment has come full turn so I’ll shut up. Just a thought for you to fuel the lamp of your imagination with.
Pleasure dropping by. Hope you are well and prospering.
Ciao,
Doug
P.S. There’s always the possibility that I am flat out wrong, too. Apologies if that is the case:)
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Lovely to hear from you. And thank you for your thoughts, I appreciate your taking the time. These days I find I frequently struggle to find the word I want, maybe because I don’t do as much writing as I did. Or maybe it’s Alzheimers. So I googled ‘petrol smells rancid’ and came up with this (apologies for the length of the url – I’m sure there’s a way of abbreviating them) : https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=391cAgAAQBAJ&pg=PA80&lpg=PA80&dq=petrol+smells+rancid&source=bl&ots=9DcF6JxBKv&sig=PBJzd34vOhQ2JzSMd27w15nb-P0&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi7o_qW68zWAhWhCcAKHRIaBLoQ6AEIXDAJ#v=onepage&q=petrol%20smells%20rancid&f=false
Any reassurance I might have elicited from the example quoted was quickly dispelled, however, when I saw it came from a Descriptosaurus for Supporting Writing for 8-12 year olds. I take your point. Take care, don’t be a stranger for too long. xx
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I clicked the link and got to the page but was told that I was not going to be allowed to read the content. I tried. (Descriptosaurus? Hmmmm.) Petrol smells like a great deal of things but rancid is not one of them. No URL to support my contention though. Shucks.
Been sorting out my life and may resurface soon. All is well. Thank you for being my friend.
Yours,
Doug
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‘Pungent reek of petrol.’ There… I feel better now. 🤗 And the privilege is all mine.
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Great story, I think you don’t need her to be a pyromaniac, you can also read the relationship between her, building and fire symbolically – both work really well.
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Pungent and petrol does kind of rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it. I want you to know I wasn’t beating you over the head with my second comment. I enjoyed your search for the right word results and loved that you went so far afield to find that link for me/you. Happy to be talking to you.
Cheers,
Doug
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I could smell the petrol fume in her hair too. So sad that Joe is losing Chloe to her former life, and that her heart blazes at the deed. Full of touching emotion, the fire a catalyst for change.
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