Result! – Friday Fictioneers, November 2017

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 

Today, for some people, life will change forever.

Anything… judgemental error, software failure, metal fatigue, an alert lab technician or simply fate itself… may herald a new, challenging direction.

“Must you do this today?” Simon asks, surveying the bags of unwanted clothes on the bed.

Lydia peels off more bags, heading for the cluttered spare room.

“Keeping busy,” she mutters.

The phone rings… it’s the hospital.

Minutes later, she replaces the phone, leaning her forehead against the hall mirror.

For someone, today is the last day of their usual life.

She is not that person; this is not that day.

 Delighted to find we’re not alone in stockpiling similar corners within  our home, despite the fact that we’ve moved house 18 times since 1994.  Friday Fictioneers, under the housekeeperly eye of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields kicks off again today.  If you’ve a hundred word story to fit the photo prompt, however obliquely, feel free to join us by clicking the blue frog.

 

 

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

80 Responses to Result! – Friday Fictioneers, November 2017

  1. Varad says:

    This was fantastic, Sandra.

    Like

  2. neilmacdon says:

    Beautifully done, Sandra. I’m a sucker for stories with a philosophical angle

    Like

  3. Iain Kelly says:

    The relief in the last line is palpable. Expertly done Sandra, one of your best.

    Like

  4. Dear Sandra,

    I’m glad it wasn’t her time. She has all that clutter to clean up. 😉 Love what you did with my mess. I felt her relief. Well done as always.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  5. James says:

    Unexpected change can happen at any moment. On the other hand, we can’t live our lives as if we’re always about to go into crisis.

    Like

  6. pennygadd51 says:

    Sandra, that is just marvellous. The concept’s marvellous, the writings marvellous, it’s all marvellous, but perhaps the phrase I liked best of all was “leaning her forehead against the hall mirror”.

    Like

  7. Nicely constructed story, emotionally layered.

    Like

  8. Brilliantly crafted story – loved the last line.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

  9. ceayr says:

    I’m not sure if I have any superlatives left to describe your writing.
    In 100 words you describe how one woman handles a life crisis in such a way that when she leans her head against the mirror we let out a collective sigh of relief.
    And then you turn the knife by reminding us that day will still come.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Your opening line is a real wake-up call! We get that ominous feeling; we dread why the hospital’s calling, then sigh with relief.
    One thing: did you mean metal fatigue or mental fatigue?

    Like

  11. I like this. I can almost see the character as a hoarder. Well-written!

    Like

  12. granonine says:

    Oh, what a relief! Excellent tension, building to the moment of truth. Love it, Sandra.

    Like

  13. k rawson says:

    Captures the wonderful-awful way life whips us about. Wonderfully done, as always, Sandra!

    Like

  14. I’m so happy today wasn’t her day! Very well done.

    Like

  15. The first line and the last say it all. Brilliantly written as ever Sandra.

    Click to read my FriFic!

    Like

  16. trentpmcd says:

    I don’t always go for narration in such a short story, but it works very well here. Great job.

    Like

  17. Moon says:

    Brilliant storytelling, Sandra.
    So relieved for Lydia.

    Like

  18. Liz Young says:

    Phew! What a relief – so well observed, so real.

    Like

  19. michael1148humphris says:

    A great description of a moment when the news can go either way.

    Like

  20. Lynn Love says:

    Oh, Sandra – you’ve wrung me out there! That wonderful set up – that eager lab technician, the metal fatigue – and her keeping busy, to that last line – ‘she is not that person; this is not that day’. So much said with such brevity and we know that person’s life is devasted. Masterful storytelling

    Like

  21. Dale says:

    Brilliant, Sandra. I know exactly how she feels. Must keep busy whilst waiting….

    Like

  22. subroto says:

    Beautiful! Brilliant as always and such a subtle nuance to the story.

    Like

  23. Oh, I have faced days like that so many times. Wondering what a phone call will bring. My oldest daughter lost her left kidney to cancer in 2008. Every doctor visit, phone call since then I’ve held my breath because along with cancer she has faced live threatening autoimmune disease. I have been thankful for those days life didn’t change. A poignant and powerful piece.

    Like

  24. draliman says:

    I hope I never have to wait for a phone call to find out if my world will change forever. Nicely written!

    Like

  25. Anna Rymer says:

    This is wonderfully done. I love how it leaves so much open for the reader to fill. I love the hope in it – we can all identify with moments like this.
    I imagined a daughter coming through the worst of an illness/injury but then reading the comments I see it could be personal test results. Of course it could be so much.
    Thank you – I really enjoyed this 😊

    Like

  26. Wow, Sandra. This is so very good. I see the people, the rooms, and my god I feel the emotion. Wonderful.

    Like

  27. Dahlia says:

    So much said in so few words! Loved this story 🙂

    Like

  28. bbryanthomas says:

    Will it be good news or…Well portrayed

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      Well, she is not the person whose life is going to change today, so I guess it was good news. I’d comment on your story Bryan, but your link takes me to an access screen for my own sites. So if you’re not getting any comments, I’d guess others are finding the same. (Do you click on your own link to see if it works after you’ve linked up?)

      Like

  29. rgayer55 says:

    We all experience those life-changing/ending moments. Like C.E. said, there are not enough superlatives to describe this story. Excellent.

    Like

  30. Hey, Sandra, I read and re-read, and sampled the others’ comments. I think the first two paras threw me as they didn’t seem to belong to anyone. But it seems that may only be me. So what do I know? Delete comment.

    Like

  31. Laurie Bell says:

    Oh gosh. Those left behind. Powerful story Sandra

    Like

  32. Great story that gets to the heart of life and how it can change abruptly without warning.

    Like

  33. Great tension in the story, Sandra. I’m at the point of getting rid of a lot that was collected in the past. Good writing as always. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Like

  34. I feel that the day may be close… keeping yourself busy waiting is a way of coping I think… an excellent story

    Like

  35. Sarah Ann says:

    The need to keep busy and her relief when the news comes are both palpable in this. So much conveyed in so few words.

    Like

  36. rachelmalik99 says:

    I really like the shifts between the general ‘someone’ and the particular story. I’m fascinated by these moments when everything might change … something to do with writing possibly?!

    Like

  37. Indira says:

    Hi Sandra! Beautiful as usual.

    Like

  38. This was very well done. A well played 99 words to tell about the not knowing while waiting for that call.

    Like

  39. 18 times since 1994? Wow. You must like have zero clutter.

    Like

  40. Thank God it wasn’t the news she was dreading. Very nice build up.

    Like

  41. This is brilliant, Sandra. I love it.

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

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