Taken – Friday Fictioneers, April 2018

Copyright Yarnspinner

The mall, once dilapidated, is now all chrome, glass and glitter.

A cold marble bench marks the spot where she lost Mikey, cold as the fear that gripped her when he was wrenched from her arms.

Twenty years today.  But miracles do happen, children remember things.  Bonds, however short-lived, cannot be severed so lightly.

A young man sits down; she catches his eye.

“Are you looking for someone?”

“My mother.”

Jennifer’s heart lurches.

“Ah,” he says, rising.

The approaching woman stops abruptly, before delivering a resounding blow, snapping Jennifer’s head back.

“You evil bitch, you should never have been freed.”


After five months of frustrating building work, today I’m sitting at my new work-station, overlooking the vegetable garden, bordered by an artisanal Purbeck stone wall, topped with a plethora of late spring bulbs.  Hopefully, my new surroundings will attract the muse that seems to have gone to ground for months now.  Thanks to Rochelle, still finding time in her busy schedule to lead the Friday Fictioneers.

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
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64 Responses to Taken – Friday Fictioneers, April 2018

  1. neilmacdon says:

    I see the muse at work there, Sandra. That’s one hell of a sting in the tail

    Like

  2. Martin Cororan says:

    That’s unsettling!

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  3. Gosh, I wasn’t expecting that! Very well done, Sandra, in so few words.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

  4. Ouch! That was one unexpected ending! Great story, Sandra.

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  5. Jan Vanek says:

    A very surprising twist! Well done! And congratulations on finishing your workspace. May your muse thrive in it!

    Like

  6. granonine says:

    Your new work space must have some magic built in to it. This is one of your best, I think.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. James says:

    Well, that took a nasty turn.

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  8. Congratulations on the workspace. Sounds delightful.

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  9. Iain Kelly says:

    Wow, a great turn at the end Sandra. Enjoy the new workspace.

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  10. Dear Sandra,

    I can imagine you sitting in your new work space basking in the company of your muse. Love this story. In fact it’s very similar to my first ever FF story “The Lie.” Of course mine didn’t have the amazing edge and slap in the fact that yours does. Wonderfully told.

    Shalom from warm and sunny Arizona,

    Rochelle

    Like

  11. Dale says:

    That went in a totally different direction than I was expecting. I think you gave me torticollis!
    Obviously, such a lovely view has inspired you…

    Like

  12. Moon says:

    That was a chilling twist.
    Wonderfully written, as always.

    Like

  13. k rawson says:

    A fresh workspace is a great invitation to the muse. I see no evidence the muse has been passing you by, though. Always love your stories Sandra.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. pennygadd51 says:

    Wow. I didn’t expect that.

    Like

  15. A mother never forgets or forgives when it comes to her child.

    Like

  16. Great twist! I was completely fooled into thinking there would be a happy reunion.

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  17. Mike says:

    What a great twist, my head almost snapped back with surprise.

    Like

  18. goroyboy says:

    Wow!! That one got me by surprise!!! Love it

    Like

  19. Woah! WHAT A TWIST!

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  20. I think the blow to her head struck me as well. I’m reeling. Great story Sandra.

    Like

  21. Liz Young says:

    Great story with a snappy ending. I envy you your work-space!

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  22. Ooh. Nasty. Not a nice way to start my day
    Randy.

    Like

  23. Rowena says:

    What a sting is the tail, Sandra. It was a beautifully moving piece and you had me drawn in and feeling sorry for the Mum and thinking of the child being kidnapped and then the twist. Very well done.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    Like

  24. Russell says:

    Very cool ending!

    Like

  25. draliman says:

    Ooh, nice switch-around at the end.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Oh, that ending was truly a slap in the face – in a good way. Nicely turned, Sandra, nicely turned.

    Like

  27. jillyfunnell says:

    That is a powerful story. Well told!

    Like

  28. Wow, that caught me out!

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  29. subroto says:

    Ha! Ha! Creepy child snatcher gets caught out again. Nice one.

    Like

  30. mumpoet says:

    Brilliant twist. I enjoyed this one 🙂

    Like

  31. I didn’t see that coming!

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  32. gahlearner says:

    Oi, ouch, and what everyone else said. Masterful as awlays, and with an extra snap thanks to the new workspace.

    Like

  33. James McEwan says:

    Unexpected brutal ending, whatever next. Indeed, effective writing in the way of a short slap on the face.

    Like

  34. Brilliant, a moment i the present packed with all the history you could want to know

    Like

  35. Sarah Ann says:

    Such a strong piece, slapping the reader as well as Jennifer at the end. She is a brave/ foolhardy woman to return to the scene of her crime.

    Like

  36. Lynn Love says:

    AS others have said, a powerful story with such a sting in the tale. What’s he planning to do now? Kidnap? Or was a crack to the skull enough payback? Well told tale Sandra. And happy scribbling in your new workspace

    Like

  37. Whoa! So unexpected, but well done. I love the way you constructed it.

    Like

  38. athling2001 says:

    Well done and what an ending.

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

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