Moonlight Flit – Friday Fictioneers, September 2018

Copyright Gah Learner

Davey whinged, wanting his bed.

But Mother was in the bedroom, bundling clothes into a suitcase whilst I, ever practical, swept groceries into a box.

A quick last look, then down to the waiting taxi.  As we passed the first-floor landing window, Mother gasped and hauled us back to the floor above, moving swiftly to the fire escape.

Ella was waiting at the back.

“You saw him, thank God.  Quickly, this way.”

The rent had been high enough; but the price of staying beyond contemplation.

Could there ever be safe refuge for us?

Not in my father’s lifetime, I concluded.

After a long hot summer, September is my favourite month, (apart from May, after a long hard winter). One of my favourite author/illustrators is Rochelle Wisoff Fields, the leader of our happy band of Friday Fictioneers.  Thank you for all that you do, Rochelle.

 

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin'. Bookmark the permalink.

74 Responses to Moonlight Flit – Friday Fictioneers, September 2018

  1. neilmacdon says:

    A husband and father as stalker. Great tale, Sandra. I suspect, if you ever wrote a follow-up. the narrator would develop her own plans. She’s already diagnosed the problem

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ceayr says:

    Another full length story, with five characters, in 100 words!
    Just how do you do that?
    Fabulous, as always.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. jillyfunnell says:

    Terrifying concept, children having to repeatedly escape their own father. Very well told.

    Like

  4. michael1148humphris says:

    I expect that many a moonlight flit, has happened for this reason. A fine sharply written piece of flash Sandra

    Like

  5. Lata Sunil says:

    Quite a take on that picture. Love the story and the urgency of the running away.

    Like

  6. This is so atmospheric. The sense of urgency and desperation is palpable. A brilliant take Sandra.

    Click to visit Keith’s Ramblings!

    Like

  7. Dear Sandra,

    You captured the urgency of getting the hell out and why in so few words. Wonderful.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  8. Sue says:

    Marvellously told as ever, Sandra….desperation, urgency in a few words we have the back story…..

    Like

  9. Gosh, you’ve managed to convey a huge story in these few words. Brilliantly done, Sandra.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

  10. Superb tension in this piece. I like how you move the camera around. Expertly done.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. pennygadd51 says:

    Wow! Super story-telling, Sandra. You’ve given us a master-class in how to use the significant detail to illuminate both plot and character.

    Like

  12. gahlearner says:

    This is full of tension, fast-paced and frightening. A great story, Sandra.

    Like

  13. Mike says:

    Another great story Sandra.

    Like

  14. Rowena says:

    Sandra, so tragic and unfortunately a situation which is far too commonplace. Well done.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    Like

  15. granonine says:

    This is very real, Sandra. Gave me the chills. Good job.

    Like

  16. Yes, a master class indeed. Superb story telling, Sandra.

    Like

  17. James McEwan says:

    A story with lots of tension, will they ever be truly safe – maybe if they could pay the rent.
    But running from him is clearly the best option.

    Like

  18. 4963andypop says:

    Escaping into the night. A desperate scary mobve told through the lens of a level-headed kid. I could not take my eyes from the page ( or screen, as the case may be!)

    Like

  19. plaridel says:

    even with lots of characters in tow, the story flowed naturally from start to finish. brilliant.

    Like

  20. Susan says:

    Your story left me hanging on every word. I wonder what the next 100-words would tell us. Excellent as always Sandra

    Like

  21. Dale says:

    I was breathless along with them. Fabulously done.

    Like

  22. notestowomen says:

    Superb story-telling, Sandra.

    Like

  23. So well done, Sandra. I could feel the sudden tension and fear.

    Like

  24. A terrifying 100-word thriller!

    Like

  25. Excellent. A full-length movie in 100 words.

    Like

  26. subroto says:

    So much story packed in 100 words. Neat touch in showing the narrator’s practical side in sweeping groceries into a box while escaping a violent father.

    Like

  27. draliman says:

    A very dark backstory, cleverly not spelled out but quite obvious. A good sense of urgency here.

    Like

  28. So sad that the daughter has learned at too young an age how to be practical in these type of situations. You drew the suspenseful scene very well, I want to know if they got away from him!

    Like

  29. lisarey1990 says:

    So much packed into this story. Well done.

    Like

  30. How awful, he must be a really bad man. I wish them luck.

    Like

  31. Kalpana Solsi says:

    the pace and urgency of escape from a stalker/maniac is deeply felt while reading the story. Hope no family suffers this way.
    https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.com/2018/09/hostage.html

    Like

  32. I felt the need to shout ‘Hurry’ as I read through the story.
    A lot of suspense for the reader, Sandra. Super great write …
    Isadora 😎

    Like

  33. Such sense of urgency with so few words.
    You are so good at this!

    Like

  34. This is a lesson a child shouldn’t learn… but I’m glad that they got away…

    Like

  35. Sarah Ann says:

    So much emotion, present, and backstory in your 100-words. I hope the daughter is wrong, that they can find somewhere safe eventually, out of her father’s reach. A taunt and tense tale leaving the reader wishing them well for their future.

    Like

  36. Meha Sharma says:

    So many characters in just a hundred words. Brilliant.

    Like

  37. Superb writing about a terrifying situation.

    Like

  38. Laurie Bell says:

    Oh no. So well written Sandra. I sensed the fear here

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.