Davey whinged, wanting his bed.
But Mother was in the bedroom, bundling clothes into a suitcase whilst I, ever practical, swept groceries into a box.
A quick last look, then down to the waiting taxi. As we passed the first-floor landing window, Mother gasped and hauled us back to the floor above, moving swiftly to the fire escape.
Ella was waiting at the back.
“You saw him, thank God. Quickly, this way.”
The rent had been high enough; but the price of staying beyond contemplation.
Could there ever be safe refuge for us?
Not in my father’s lifetime, I concluded.
After a long hot summer, September is my favourite month, (apart from May, after a long hard winter). One of my favourite author/illustrators is Rochelle Wisoff Fields, the leader of our happy band of Friday Fictioneers. Thank you for all that you do, Rochelle.
A husband and father as stalker. Great tale, Sandra. I suspect, if you ever wrote a follow-up. the narrator would develop her own plans. She’s already diagnosed the problem
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And she’s of a practical nature. 🙂
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Another full length story, with five characters, in 100 words!
Just how do you do that?
Fabulous, as always.
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Aww thanks, CE. You’re very kind.
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Terrifying concept, children having to repeatedly escape their own father. Very well told.
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Thank you Jilly.
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I expect that many a moonlight flit, has happened for this reason. A fine sharply written piece of flash Sandra
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Thanks, Michael.
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Quite a take on that picture. Love the story and the urgency of the running away.
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Thanks for reading Lata.
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This is so atmospheric. The sense of urgency and desperation is palpable. A brilliant take Sandra.
Click to visit Keith’s Ramblings!
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Dear Sandra,
You captured the urgency of getting the hell out and why in so few words. Wonderful.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle. Hope you’ve had a good weekend.
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Marvellously told as ever, Sandra….desperation, urgency in a few words we have the back story…..
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Thank you, Sue. 🙂
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😊😊
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Gosh, you’ve managed to convey a huge story in these few words. Brilliantly done, Sandra.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thanks, Susan. 🙂
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Superb tension in this piece. I like how you move the camera around. Expertly done.
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Thanks, Josh.
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Wow! Super story-telling, Sandra. You’ve given us a master-class in how to use the significant detail to illuminate both plot and character.
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What a lovely thing to say, Penny. Thank you!
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This is full of tension, fast-paced and frightening. A great story, Sandra.
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Thank you! And for the photo too. 🙂
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Another great story Sandra.
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Thanks, Mike.
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Sandra, so tragic and unfortunately a situation which is far too commonplace. Well done.
Best wishes,
Rowena
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Thanks for reading, Rowena.
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This is very real, Sandra. Gave me the chills. Good job.
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Many thanks for reading.
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Yes, a master class indeed. Superb story telling, Sandra.
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Thanks for that, Neel.
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A story with lots of tension, will they ever be truly safe – maybe if they could pay the rent.
But running from him is clearly the best option.
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I think so. Thanks for reading.
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Escaping into the night. A desperate scary mobve told through the lens of a level-headed kid. I could not take my eyes from the page ( or screen, as the case may be!)
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Thanks for visiting. 🙂
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even with lots of characters in tow, the story flowed naturally from start to finish. brilliant.
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Thank you!
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Your story left me hanging on every word. I wonder what the next 100-words would tell us. Excellent as always Sandra
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I may have to think about that, Susan. Thanks for visiting.
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I was breathless along with them. Fabulously done.
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Thanks Dale. 🙂
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Superb story-telling, Sandra.
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Thank you!
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So well done, Sandra. I could feel the sudden tension and fear.
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Thanks Sascha. 🙂
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A terrifying 100-word thriller!
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Thank you!
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Superb, as ever.
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Thank you. 🙂
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Excellent. A full-length movie in 100 words.
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I might stay awake for more movies if they were only 100 words long. 😉 Thanks Russell.
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So much story packed in 100 words. Neat touch in showing the narrator’s practical side in sweeping groceries into a box while escaping a violent father.
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Thank you.
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A very dark backstory, cleverly not spelled out but quite obvious. A good sense of urgency here.
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Many thanks.
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So sad that the daughter has learned at too young an age how to be practical in these type of situations. You drew the suspenseful scene very well, I want to know if they got away from him!
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I’m going to pretend they did. 😦
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So much packed into this story. Well done.
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Thank you Lisa.
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How awful, he must be a really bad man. I wish them luck.
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Bad indeed. Thanks for visiting.
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the pace and urgency of escape from a stalker/maniac is deeply felt while reading the story. Hope no family suffers this way.
https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.com/2018/09/hostage.html
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I’m afraid they do though. Thanks for visiting.
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I felt the need to shout ‘Hurry’ as I read through the story.
A lot of suspense for the reader, Sandra. Super great write …
Isadora 😎
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Thank you, Isadora.
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Such sense of urgency with so few words.
You are so good at this!
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Thank you, Dawn.
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This is a lesson a child shouldn’t learn… but I’m glad that they got away…
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So true. Thanks Bjorn.
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So much emotion, present, and backstory in your 100-words. I hope the daughter is wrong, that they can find somewhere safe eventually, out of her father’s reach. A taunt and tense tale leaving the reader wishing them well for their future.
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So many characters in just a hundred words. Brilliant.
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Superb writing about a terrifying situation.
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Oh no. So well written Sandra. I sensed the fear here
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